Poor Royals. They just can't beat us. They are unable to handle the ferocity that is Orioles Magic.

Good to see Freddie Bynum in the lineup. Yeah, I said it.

Daniel Cabrera is my daddy, your daddy, everyone's daddy. Yeah, I said it.

Winning a game after losing a bunch is always fun. And to be fair, the O's were losing tight games, sometimes because they couldn't hit, and sometimes because they just didn't win. (Like if Steve Trachsel pitched. Which is, sadly, coming up tomorrow.)

But remember: TONY PENA IS WATCHING YOU.

	Today's Starting Pitchers	GS	IP	ERA	WHIP	BAA	BB	K	W-L
	Daniel Cabrera - RH	7	44.1	4.06	1.35	.226	23	27	2-1
	Luke Hochevar - RH	3	16.2	4.86	1.62	.273	9	14	2-1

Hochevar was the No. 1 pick in the 2006 draft. He's a Scott Boras kid, stands 6'5", has a big heater, and has been compared to Kevin Brown, which hopefully just means his pitching.

Cabrera is taller. Thus, I conclude he is better. Win!

Game time is 8:10 on MASN.

	Baltimore	AB	AVG	OBP	HR	RBI
1	Brian Roberts - 2B	133	.263	.353	3	15
2	Melvin Mora - 3B	136	.257	.306	4	18
3	Nick Markakis - RF	122	.270	.395	6	14
4	Aubrey Huff - DH	124	.266	.341	5	20
5	Kevin Millar - 1B	125	.224	.315	4	15
6	Luke Scott - LF	98	.286	.366	1	10
7	Ramon Hernandez - C	99	.202	.234	3	17
8	Adam Jones - CF	117	.231	.272	2	10
9	Freddie Bynum - SS	0	.000	.000	0	0

	Kansas City	AB	AVG	OBP	HR	RBI
1	David DeJesus - CF	70	.314	.380	3	16
2	Mark Grudzielanek - 2B	96	.302	.350	0	4
3	Alex Gordon - 3B	125	.280	.348	4	15
4	Billy Butler - DH	121	.281	.343	1	13
5	Mark Teahen - RF	122	.270	.350	1	8
6	Alberto Callaspo - LF	41	.341	.426	0	3
7	ROSS GLOAD - 1B	87	.276	.323	0	9
8	John Buck - C	83	.253	.340	2	12
9	Tony Pena, Jr. - SS	93	.161	.177	0	6

From The Baltimore Sun

	Today's Starting Pitchers	GS	IP	ERA	WHIP	BAA	BB	K	W-L
	Jeremy Guthrie - RH	7	44.1	4.06	1.24	.244	13	26	1-3
	Joe Blanton - RH	8	55.2	3.88	1.35	.289	10	22	2-5

I'll add more in a moment, but I forgot we played at 3:35 today. Game's on MASN. Let's go, O's!

The Major League Baseball Players Union has "expressed concern" over the lack of offers made to Barry Bonds since the all-time home run king became a free agent. You can read all about it -- it's a cute tale.

I know that this is more than meets the eye at first, and that the union is backing a play and doing something they've certainly done before with less fanfare. They're protecting a member of the union.

But does it simply go without saying that maybe nobody went after this guy because he's a jerk?

Let me even elaborate. For years, I liked Barry Bonds. I have a soft spot for the game's hated characters. Take Albert Belle, who I loved because despite his many off-putting qualities. For one thing, he was a great hitter. For another thing, he always played hard.

I find Ty Cobb to be a fascinating historical figure. I find Ted Williams' moodiness tremendously interesting (like Bill James said, it's hard to imagine, but Williams was as hated as Albert Belle or anyone else in his heyday). History remembers the great Yankee Mickey Mantle warmly, but he was an alcoholic. Even Babe Ruth was no saint.

The point is, baseball is littered with great players who were pretty fundamentally easy to dislike on any number of levels. But the one thing that none of those guys have on their mark is being the spearhead figure of inarguably the most image-damaging scandal in the sport's history. Not only is Bonds cantankerous (to put it nicely), but he's a PR disaster. Bonds is at some point going to be face-to-face with some legal issues that are beyond him. The same, at this point, probably goes for Roger Clemens. I don't hear anyone clamoring to get "The Rocket" back in a uniform anywhere now that he's become the focal point of the PED bombshells.

Barry Bonds can still hit. Roger Clemens is still a better pitcher than most of the guys in the league. But they are nightmare representatives of any team and of the sport itself now. Bonds is the home run king, but does he really have that honor the way that Ruth and Aaron did? Will he ever?

If you sign Barry Bonds, you're opening yourself up to backlash from your fanbase, no matter what he does on the field. If you sign Barry Bonds, you're employing a ticking time bomb. You're offering to openly screw with the makeup of a team, adding a massive distraction who has no redeeming quality past the fact that he can still rake.

This is not the case of a disliked player. It's a villain that we're talking about. As great a hitter as he still is, and as much as I think production = wins = good stuff all around, I can't really see a good scenario for any team picking up the aura around Bonds.

That's why there aren't any offers. Is it collusion? Maybe, sort of. I don't think the owners sat down and went, "No one sign this guy." I think it's entirely possible that 30 owners all thought, "I don't want anything to do with him." Bonds, because he's the player that he is, takes heat for hundreds of players that have cheated the system with performance-enhancing drugs. If you don't think that's particularly fair, I agree with you. It's really not. He did nothing more than David Segui or Jason Grimsley did, really. But he's Barry Bonds, and when you're Barry Bonds, the dung hits the ol' fan at a bit higher of a splatter rate.

He's lied, he's cheated, he's whined, he's complained, he's made no friends along the way, and he's embarrassed and tainted the game of baseball like few others ever have or could. And if he never plays again, that's just the way it is.

Let's let the face of Kevin Millar tell the story. The days of the Orioles playing .500 ball in 2008 have come and gone, and more likely than not, this is just the beginning.

I'd like to expand on something I said yesterday, too, because discussing the weaknesses is just not something I'm up for this morning.

Aubrey Huff has been hitting, and I say hats off to him. Huff's line is now .277/.353/.471, which makes him the team's second-best hitter, behind Markakis, who is still slumping badly. Diamond Dave even went back to Nick in the three-hole and Mora at No. 2 yesterday, and it made no difference. Markakis still went 0-for-3, but he did take another walk, his 24th of the year.

I have my doubts that this is the case, but has the idea of Markakis pressing to get hits been brought up yet? He was taking a ton of walks early on, but we had Gary Thorne and Jim Palmer and Jim Hunter and Buck Martinez yammering on about how you don't want your three-hitter taking walks -- actually, to be fair, Palmer seemed to understand why he was taking the walks, and summed it up with, "And good for him."

Look, obviously it'd be great if Markakis got to HIT more. But did anyone not see this coming? Putting Huff behind him instead of Millar (.213/.297/.336) is a good start. And more likely than not it's just a slump. Every player has them. But if someone decided to tell Nick he needs to be more aggressive, then that is simply typical Baltimore Orioles, and would be horribly distressing.

But let's talk about the A's. First of all, I want to apologize for dissing Emil Brown and his stupid RBI totals the other day, because he's making me pay for it. Some of you Papa Shango lunatics that believe in voodoo magic via the power of web logs or TV commentators saying "no-hitter" think it's my fault, but credit where it's due, Brown is making the most of an opportunity this season. That said, dude's OPS is still .725, and the Oakland commentators going bananas about "magic stick" and "RBI machine" have killed me for two days. They're actually an enjoyable commentary team in a lot of ways, though. They aren't overbearing, but aren't dull either.

He's still Emil Brown, and that'll catch up with the A's at some point this year.

We've got one more at Oakland, then head out to Kansas City for four games, then back home against the Red Sox. Win or lose, gotta play the games.

Before we close this out, let's give props again to the pitching. Burres did his job, and then Matt Albers finished it out with another strong performance. How they can let Albers sit in the bullpen while Steve Trachsel rots away in the rotation is beyond me. Take a cue from the Tigers, Andy.

	Today's Starting Pitchers	GS	IP	ERA	WHIP	BAA	BB	K	W-L
	Brian Burres - LH	5 (6)	31.1	2.87	1.28	.237	13	19	3-2
	Justin Duchscherer - RH	3	15.0	2.40	1.27	.271	3	14	2-1

10:05/07 on MASN2.

Bur-dog has done a hell of a good job so far this season. Hell of a good job. Duchscherer is someone I've always liked because he was a pretty good shutdown reliever that didn't throw gas or anything, just pounded the crap out of the strike zone. He always wanted to start, now he is. And his first three starts this season have gone OK. He's not going to eat a lot of innings up, but he'll probably consistently do his job.

Duchscherer's career line against the Birds is good, but it's sample sized. Eight appearances (one start) and about 15 innings, he's put up a 2.87 ERA and 0.96 WHIP. Burres threw nine innings against Oakland last season and gave up just one earned. Little bit o' luck involved, but whatever.

Oakland is running out an all-righty lineup, but as we saw yesterday, they haven't done a whole lot against lefties. Blez at A's Nation is a little concerned with that. I'd like to trade him problems sometime.

via d.yimg.com

I've said this before, and I'll say it again, I'm sure. It's one thing to come into this season with low expectations, and knowing the team is going to compete for Worst Team in Baseball, and knowing how rocky and downright bad it's going to be, but it's another thing to actually sit and watch it happen.

The O's came out for 2008 with another surprisingly fast start, ending April in contention. We're a week into May, 16-16, and now we're in fourth place. And brothers and sisters, it's only going to get worse.

We're a half-game up on Toronto, and the Jays are riding a five-game win streak. It's only a matter of time before we get settled in the cellar.

I'm not being negative, I'm being realistic. Think about some of the guys starting for this team. Luis Hernandez and his .542 OPS, weak arm, and frequent boneheaded baserunning mistakes. Ramon Hernandez and his .581 OPS, detrimental alleged defense behind the plate, and frequent boneheaded baserunning mistakes. Luke Scott (.778 and nosediving) and Jay Payton (.642 and steady) are in a left field platoon.

Our starting first baseman is OPSing .672. Nick Markakis is in a massive slump right now. Our number three hitter is Melvin Mora -- .729 OPS.

This offense is offensive.

And it kind of makes you feel bad for a starting pitching crew that is performing a lot better than most would have expected. Jeremy Guthrie (4.06/1.24) is doing his thing again. Daniel Cabrera (4.06/1.35) seems to have found a balance between power pitching and trusting his stuff enough to let people try to hit it. Brian Burres (2.87/1.28) has been terrific. Garrett Olson (2.08/1.08) has been great in two starts since being called up. Steve Trachsel is a waste of time, so let's not even bother talking about him right now.

The bullpen has been a little inconsistent, but they've held their own for the most part. There's not much more you could ask of this pitching staff than what they've given us, to be totally fair.

And then there's the boneheaded baserunning and fielding and other assorted screwery. It's hard to watch a team make so many fundamental little mistakes that wind up costing them games. The A's had no business winning last night. They shouldn't have scored a run.

But then the Orioles shouldn't be making two outs on every hit-and-run they attempt and gloriously fail to execute. The Orioles shouldn't run into so many outs. But Dave has them running, despite their constant presentation of evidence that they don't know how to run the bases. Roberts is a fantastic baserunner. Markakis is a really good, savvy baserunner, last night's boner notwithstanding. But guys like Luis and Adam Jones, while they have speed, aren't good baserunners. It's one of the few times I'll go out of my way to praise Derek Jeter, but that guy is a magnificent baserunner. It's not just speed, and we all know that. Markakis isn't terribly fast, but, like Jeter, he has good instincts and rarely screws himself over.

And it's not just on the bases. It's in the field, too. Melvin Mora, God bless him, makes more idiotic mistakes than anyone I can think of. He also makes a lot of highlight reel plays. His tendency to look to get a glory out and wind up getting nobody out is a little high. Luis Hernandez? I can't really blame him. He's not really a Major League shortstop. He does not have the arm for the position.

I'm not mad about them being bad, and I'm not upset about it, and it doesn't depress me or anything. But it's hard to watch a team so bad on so many levels. They try hard, there's a lot of moxy, and there's plenty of grit. They've got some gamers. That's super.

They stink, though. We all knew they would.

(And Aubrey Huff has been fine.)

Two of the most surprisingly competitive teams in the American League throw down in Oakland for a three-game set. 10:05 on MASN, but I think I'll have the dreadful Oakland broadcast.

	Today's Starting Pitchers	GS	IP	ERA	WHIP	BAA	BB	K	W-L
	Garrett Olson - LH	1	6.2	2.70	1.35	.174	5	6	1-0
	Dana Eveland - LH	6	34.1	3.67	1.28	.236	14	26	3-2

Eveland is a southpaw semi-journeyman at the age of just 24. Drafted by Milwaukee, he was traded to the Diamondbacks with Doug Davis and David Krynzel for Claudio Vargas, Johnny Estrada and Greg Aquino. Later, he was sent to Oakland with five others in the Dan Haren deal. He's done a heck of a good for the A's so far, but their rotation started hot last year before tapering off a little bit, too.

We're the first or one of the very first teams to face Frank Thomas in two different uniforms this season, too, so that's exciting. In what basically amounts to a single full season of play for Thomas at McAfee Coliseum, he's hit .273/.390/.535 with 39 homers and 115 RBI in his Hall of Fame career.

But don't fret, gang. Compare that to OUR designated hitter's career line at Oakland: .279/.308/.430, two homers, 10 RBI. Since he has a better batting average, I'm pretty certain that the comparison is relatively close.

If you look at the lineups, you'll notice Emil Brown, case in point that runs batted in mean F-all. I also have to find some amount of respect for any team that can find a place in their starting lineup for Thomas, Sweeney and Cust. Somebody's back is going out. And how.