For all of those looking for a brief, amusing distraction from the Mark Teixeira madness, Dean Jones, Jr. reports that Eider Torres (White Sox) and Freddie "Boom Boom" Bynum (Nationals) have found new homes. As near as I can tell, both were inked to minor league deals. Man, the Nats would look awesome with Danny Cabrera on the mound and Freddie at SS next year!

This of course means that of the six horrifying creatures that started at shortstop for the Birds in 2008, only Brandon Fahey (who played an inexcusable 248 innings there) still remains with the organization. When the apocalypse comes, only Brandon Fahey, the cockroaches, and Waffle Crisp cereal will remain.