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Gameday Thread: O's (17-18) @ Royals (15-19)

Baltimore Orioles at Kansas City Royals, May 9, 2008 8:10 PM EDT


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  Today's Starting Pitchers GS IP ERA WHIP BAA BB K W-L
Steve Trachsel - RH 6 26.2 7.43 1.95 .306 19 13 1-4
Gil Meche - RH 7 40.2 5.98 1.52 .292 15 27 2-4

With the rate at which useless, crapped-out veterans that aren't performing are getting shown the door by major league teams this season, this really could be Steve Trachsel's last shot at staying in the rotation or even in the majors. Two seasons in a row, nobody but the Orioles has really knocked on the man's door. Last year, he managed to tread on thin ice well enough to get us a couple of players back from the Cubs, who made a very poor judgment of talent and statistics and everything else. This year, he's not even pretending. He's one of the absolute worst pitchers in the game. I like Steve Trachsel, seems like a nice sort, but you can't keep putting this dude on the field as he chases a 2.00 WHIP and maintains a 7+ ERA while not actually "eating innings."

Gil Meche's big KC KontraCt looked good last year, but he has dumped on the proverbial bed sheets this spring. He's got good enough stuff that a turnaround is likely, but the Royals, if they have any hope of truly putting together a "surprising" 80-85 win season, will need Meche to stop sucking. Pretty simple, really.

The Arsonist Steve (2008) takes the hill. Thankfully it's a Friday, so grab a 62-pack and buckle yourself in.

0 recs  |  Comment 166 comments

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Bomb em Birds

Hope the trashman doesn’t lose it tonight.

by floridaoriole on May 9, 2008 7:13 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

don't worry

He doesn’t have it to lose.

by SC on May 9, 2008 7:36 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Go Trax

Just keep us in the game, that’s all I’m asking.

I think you still have enough to do that.

by dkdc on May 9, 2008 7:40 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

how long have you been waiting to pull that one out?

Anyway, I’m getting colossally drunk tonight and going to a dance party, so I probably won’t watch this.

Maybe I’ll catch it on late-night sportscenter and then forget I even saw it.

Good luck stevie.

by pipkin on May 9, 2008 7:58 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Matt Wieters

3 for 4 with 2 HRs tonight. One HR from the left side, one HR from the right side.

His only out was a fly out that was hit deep enough to allow the runner on first to tag up and go to second.

by dkdc on May 9, 2008 8:06 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Screw AA

He’s better than Ramon right now.

by dkdc on May 9, 2008 8:09 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

I agree

I don’t really think they should call up Wieters yet.

Except when I see Ramon GIDP.

by dkdc on May 9, 2008 8:16 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

I love the Royals commentary team

They are just wildly out of wack. It’s all, “Melvin Mora is awesome!” this and “I’ve been following Roberts since day one, he was a small guy with pop in his bat” that. No one thought Roberts could hit for any power until 2005!

by SC on May 9, 2008 8:15 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

what’s with the delayed strike call right there?

by getxstoked on May 9, 2008 8:15 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

I hate you, Steve Trachsel.

by getxstoked on May 9, 2008 8:24 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

DFA him!

Wolf, wolf, wolf.

by birdman on May 9, 2008 8:25 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Does anyone realize the O's only got about 6 hits last night?

I didn’t want to mention that in all the Cabrera fun. Buckle in for more offensive offense.

by drj on May 9, 2008 8:41 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

God

I went to Subway because I was hoping for something quick, satisfying, and not obscenely unhealthy, and the guy behind me was saddled with the world’s most obnoxious child, and I come back and Steve Trachsel is down 2-0. I hate you, Steve Trachsel! I hate you, Jared!

by SC on May 9, 2008 8:43 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

GOD

You SUCK, Trachsel.

Wow, John Buck looks like he’s 41 years old.

by SC on May 9, 2008 8:44 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

hooray Royals TV

An exciting spot with some dork that’s on American Idol. This is informative and interesting. Bynum hit a double, but this guy’s talking about going to the mall.

by SC on May 9, 2008 8:51 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

they're STILL TALKING TO HIM

My God.

I did like the PBP guy remembering the last time a reality TV star threw out the first pitch and got booed off the field because he couldn’t throw (this dude threw a nice first pitch), and he threw in, “He was uh…I don’t remember his name, anyway…”

by SC on May 9, 2008 8:55 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

I know right?

This has gone on WAY TOO LONG. They aren’t even bothering to call the game. This is overkill. I mean he doesn’t even seem like a bad dude but could we pretend to care about the game?

by SC on May 9, 2008 8:59 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

ha! you really suck Gil

You got punked by Fab five freddy and then Mora.

Wolf, wolf, wolf.

by birdman on May 9, 2008 8:57 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

if everyone hits a homer tonight

trax might have a chance.

back to your wine cellar, shmuck!

by cubotic on May 9, 2008 8:58 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

thanks, Royals

You’re really helping Papa Steve out tonight. Now we’ll have him until June.

Fuckin Royals can’t do anything right.

by SC on May 9, 2008 9:08 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

the Royals are going to invent a statistic

QUALITY AT-BAT
Eight pitches or more aaaand…
the final result is…
the hitter hits it hard somewhere.

No wait.

Hitter was down in the count at some point, eight pitches or more, and he hits it hard somewhere. Doesn’t have to get a hit.

I’m…loving these two. I really am. They’re smooth, they amuse the shit out of me, and I’m getting something out of this.

by SC on May 9, 2008 9:12 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

I'm seriously about to crap my pants

I love these two so much. I wish everyone could hear this.

by SC on May 9, 2008 9:13 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

also

To Frank, a quality start is a complete game. Nothing else.

Now they’re comparing quality starts to ribs. This is FUCKING AWESOME.

by SC on May 9, 2008 9:14 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

hey you guys

I wanna say something. I’m gonna say it. I really am.

Adam Jones looks pretty overmatched in Major League Baseball so far.

by SC on May 9, 2008 9:15 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Most of the time, he does.

But sometimes, just sometimes, he looks like the best player on the field.

Okay, only maybe once or twice so far. But give him time. He’ll be fine.

"Might as well just win this game." - Adam Jones, 4/17/2008

Adam Jones is the tits.

by KenDixonFanClub on May 9, 2008 9:16 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

I agree

But he’s having a hell of a rough time. Hitting offspeed pitches at some point would be a massive improvement. I mean he hits nothing but fastballs.

by SC on May 9, 2008 9:17 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Bold statement

but you could say that about every oriole on the field

by Bromo on May 9, 2008 9:18 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Great...now you jinxed little Nicky

Hope he doesn’t strike out next up

by Bromo on May 9, 2008 9:21 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

I hope he does! I fuckin’ hope he does! I hope this whole team strikes out! In fact, I voodoo demand it! GET A GOAT

by SC on May 9, 2008 9:22 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Will a cat work?

I got one here that’s getting on my nerves

by Bromo on May 9, 2008 9:25 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

yup

I remember BP said something like, “Nick Markakis has shown the rare ability to improve and outperform expectations every year.” Adam Jones has had a minor league career SORT OF like that.

by SC on May 9, 2008 9:24 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Nicky rookie numbers

Nick had a .599 OPS on May 28, 2006.

And an .871 OPS the rest of the year.

by dkdc on May 9, 2008 9:29 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Is it just me...

...or does Royals Manager Trey Hillman kinda look like MacGyver?

"Might as well just win this game." - Adam Jones, 4/17/2008

Adam Jones is the tits.

by KenDixonFanClub on May 9, 2008 9:17 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

why is Jose feeling up the ump?

I’m glad the ump knew he wasn’t being aggressive and didn’t toss him. Nice use of judgment there.

Wow I really don’t think he tipped that.

by SC on May 9, 2008 9:22 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Agreed on both points.

Too many umpires nowadays have their egos wrapped up in arguments and get hyper aggressive right away. I hate that.

"Might as well just win this game." - Adam Jones, 4/17/2008

Adam Jones is the tits.

by KenDixonFanClub on May 9, 2008 9:24 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

this is off-topic

But does anyone but me still watch Scrubs? Did anyone watch the finale last night?

Come on, REALLY? That’s it???

by SC on May 9, 2008 9:23 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

don't pay over $19.99

Frankly, download the episodes. I grew to even like the doofy 6th season which ended with me wanting to vomit on myself, but they screwed the pooch for the final season. Bad.

by SC on May 9, 2008 9:37 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

It was still on?

Anyone die? Otherwise, I won’t bother with Hulu tomorrow.

"If you're a fantasy baseball player, don't pick anybody from the Orioles. ... Nobody is going to pop your eyes out. But if you're in the American League East, bring your lunch, because you're going to need it." - Kevin Millar

by duck on May 9, 2008 9:58 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Freddie Bynum

Post Steroid Era Poster Child

by Bromo on May 9, 2008 9:28 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Does Boom Boom

already have more hits than Luis Luis did? Feels like it.

"Might as well just win this game." - Adam Jones, 4/17/2008

Adam Jones is the tits.

by KenDixonFanClub on May 9, 2008 9:30 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

thing is

He can actually put some stank on his hits.

by SC on May 9, 2008 9:33 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

he sure can

I don’t think Bynum is a long time starting SS or anything, but I think he’s probably a hell of a lot better at the plate than Luis.

"Might as well just win this game." - Adam Jones, 4/17/2008

Adam Jones is the tits.

by KenDixonFanClub on May 9, 2008 9:33 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

no, guys

It WAS that long ago that the Orioles were part of the discussion in the AL East. It’s been a decade. You just said so.

by SC on May 9, 2008 9:38 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

DONG

AUBREY HUFF IS YOUR DADDY

by SC on May 9, 2008 9:39 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

AUBREY!

I kind of love you, again.

by getxstoked on May 9, 2008 9:39 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

HAHA

Made them PAY!!

by dkdc on May 9, 2008 9:39 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

9 K's

On the roadtrip for Roberts. He hasn’t hit a thing hard tonight…

Freddie should lead off tomorrow.

by dtuck81 on May 9, 2008 9:42 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

His last AB sounded brutal on the radio.

You’re really turning on him though? It’s a slump.

by O'sFan21 on May 9, 2008 9:43 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

I've never been a big Roberts fan...

So admittedly I am biased. He needs to sit down for a couple days.

by dtuck81 on May 9, 2008 9:44 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

That's crazy.

Look at his stats for the last 5 years. It’s not like he’s some scrub or something. A day off maybe, but you don’t get out of slumps by sitting on the bench. Jeter was hitting under .200 approaching the all-star break a couple years back, and all kinds of idiots were saying to bench him – that he was done. He ended the year where he usually does.

You don’t just bench good players when they go into a slump.

by O'sFan21 on May 9, 2008 9:49 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Still...

He’s just not making good contact, and not even taking good swings, at least not tonight. Do you really think 2 days off (they have an off-day on Monday, right?) would hurt him?

I think he should have been bunting, however, in the last inning; that’s a situation where he should put one down.

by dtuck81 on May 9, 2008 9:51 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

What good is two days off going to do him?

Hitters need to hit. It’s a slump man. They happen – even to good hitters and two days off is not going to put an end to it. I don’t care about him bunting – he’s never been a bunter.

by O'sFan21 on May 9, 2008 9:57 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Luke Scott

Kind of looks like a “My Buddy” doll.

by dtuck81 on May 9, 2008 9:49 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

I'm gonna say it

Pretty good outing by Traschel so far.

by dkdc on May 9, 2008 9:50 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Nah

They weren’t going to cut him on the road trip. This still might be his last start.

by dkdc on May 9, 2008 9:54 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

AJ

Phenomenal A.J.

by dtuck81 on May 9, 2008 9:56 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

So, what have I missed?

Speed Racer, I must admit, was pretty cool. My kids loved it.

Your mileage may vary.

"If you're a fantasy baseball player, don't pick anybody from the Orioles. ... Nobody is going to pop your eyes out. But if you're in the American League East, bring your lunch, because you're going to need it." - Kevin Millar

by duck on May 9, 2008 9:59 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Freddie B-Nice

Freddie didn’t look real good there, oh well.

by dtuck81 on May 9, 2008 10:00 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

don't look now..

but ramon’s batting average actually over-took kevin millar’s…

by Y Not on May 9, 2008 10:01 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Don't you mean

Millar’s average undertook Ramon’s?

by dkdc on May 9, 2008 10:02 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

MASN Commerical #837

Did they make more than 5 of these things?

by dtuck81 on May 9, 2008 10:03 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

you know those nights

when you go to happy hour and the next thing you know it’s 10 o’clock? its one of those nights.

How surprised I am that the trashman has made it into the 6th inning? Am I happy or sad about that? Who can tell.

by Stacey on May 9, 2008 10:07 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Hit the road, Trax....

...it had to be sung…

by dtuck81 on May 9, 2008 10:09 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Is Matt doing Atkins?

He looks a little hungry

by Bromo on May 9, 2008 10:11 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Fatt Albers

Owns all. The 34 is the amount of hotdogs he ate in the pen.

by dtuck81 on May 9, 2008 10:11 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Fat Albers

setting up the double play

by Stacey on May 9, 2008 10:12 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

WEHT the strikezone?

Nick Markakis: The Actual Greek God of Walks

by wickedwitch on May 9, 2008 10:14 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

I bet

If there was a big plate of meatballs sitting at home plate Albers could find it.

by dtuck81 on May 9, 2008 10:14 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

I'm not fat!

I’m big boned!

Beefcake! BEEFCAKE!

"If you're a fantasy baseball player, don't pick anybody from the Orioles. ... Nobody is going to pop your eyes out. But if you're in the American League East, bring your lunch, because you're going to need it." - Kevin Millar

by duck on May 9, 2008 10:42 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Uh oh

What the fuck Matt Alers?

by Stacey on May 9, 2008 10:14 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

What the hell, Albers?

by getxstoked on May 9, 2008 10:14 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Let's Go Albers!

Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap!

by Stacey on May 9, 2008 10:16 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Thank God.

For Freddie Bynum

by getxstoked on May 9, 2008 10:17 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

FREDDIE FREDDIE

FREDDIE. I don’t think Freddie was near second.

by dtuck81 on May 9, 2008 10:17 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Jesus Roberts

Stop the backhand toss crap.

by dtuck81 on May 9, 2008 10:20 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Nick looks nice

when he doesn’t shave.

by Stacey on May 9, 2008 10:21 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

mmmm... yes

Nick Markakis: The Actual Greek God of Walks

by wickedwitch on May 9, 2008 10:22 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

But he's violating the grooming code

He might get fired if he doesn’t clean up

by Bromo on May 9, 2008 10:23 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Please

Nick Markakis is our savior. He does what he wants.

by Stacey on May 9, 2008 10:23 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

grooming codes

Are such BS. I don’t care if someone has long hair or a beard, as long as they hustle.

Nick Markakis is the new Chuck Norris.

Nick Markakis does not sleep. He waits.

by dtuck81 on May 9, 2008 10:25 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

More Markakis rules

Nick Markakis won the 2006 World Series of poker with just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

Hand sanitizers kill 99% of germs. Nick Markakis kills 100% of whatever the hell he wants to.

When Nick Markakis does push ups, he doesn’t push up. He pushes the earth DOWN.

"If you're a fantasy baseball player, don't pick anybody from the Orioles. ... Nobody is going to pop your eyes out. But if you're in the American League East, bring your lunch, because you're going to need it." - Kevin Millar

by duck on May 9, 2008 10:45 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

But who'll play RF

when CTU hires him?

You can't fix stupid. Stupid is forever.

by sluggo 2.0 on May 10, 2008 10:03 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Good play Aubrey

Good call.

Aubrey looks like Donkey from Shrek.

by dtuck81 on May 9, 2008 10:24 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Millar is from L.A.

Yet he lives in Texas and picked up the accent. Umm, what fake cowboy?

by dtuck81 on May 9, 2008 10:29 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

ATTN: Dayzd Toe

Do you have the picture of Millar For Manager with the winking? I can’t find it on my computer anywhere!!

by Stacey on May 9, 2008 10:31 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

He would'a been a pretty awesome manager

TRAGIC TRAGIC TRAGIC TRAGIC TRAGIC TRAGIC TRAGIC TRAGIC

by spike2131 on May 9, 2008 10:48 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

better late than never...

Improving the ballclub: Not one of Peter Angelos' concerns.-SC Wed Jan 30, 2008

by dayzd toe on May 10, 2008 11:48 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Thank you!

It’s now saved on my computer for all eternity.

by Stacey on May 10, 2008 12:10 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

you are welcome. Now, don’t let it happen again.

Improving the ballclub: Not one of Peter Angelos' concerns.-SC Wed Jan 30, 2008

by dayzd toe on May 10, 2008 5:13 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Can we play a schedule that just alternates between the Royals and Mariners?

by getxstoked on May 9, 2008 10:28 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

I'll take a few against the Rays

just to keep Aubrey hot.

"If you're a fantasy baseball player, don't pick anybody from the Orioles. ... Nobody is going to pop your eyes out. But if you're in the American League East, bring your lunch, because you're going to need it." - Kevin Millar

by duck on May 9, 2008 10:46 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

C'mon Puke Scott

Hit the fuckin’ ball….BUNT if you have to

by Bromo on May 9, 2008 10:30 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

LOL, royals announcer just before the mic cut

“Jamie Walker gotten thick.”

Wolf, wolf, wolf.

by birdman on May 9, 2008 10:43 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Jamie Walker ain't got it right now

"If you're a fantasy baseball player, don't pick anybody from the Orioles. ... Nobody is going to pop your eyes out. But if you're in the American League East, bring your lunch, because you're going to need it." - Kevin Millar

by duck on May 9, 2008 10:52 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Maybe

Jimmy needs to get the duct tape again.

by dtuck81 on May 9, 2008 10:55 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

What's a higher number

B-Rob’s batting average or Albers’ weight?

by dtuck81 on May 9, 2008 10:59 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

He's not fat!

He’s big boned!

"If you're a fantasy baseball player, don't pick anybody from the Orioles. ... Nobody is going to pop your eyes out. But if you're in the American League East, bring your lunch, because you're going to need it." - Kevin Millar

by duck on May 9, 2008 11:01 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

big bones

Surrounded by lots of fatness.

by dtuck81 on May 9, 2008 11:03 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

11 hits in 1 game?

That’s been a week’s worth lately

"If you're a fantasy baseball player, don't pick anybody from the Orioles. ... Nobody is going to pop your eyes out. But if you're in the American League East, bring your lunch, because you're going to need it." - Kevin Millar

by duck on May 9, 2008 11:00 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

I love the Royals team

“Brian Roberts just got the biggest jump in the history of Major League Baseball and stole a base.”

by SC on May 9, 2008 11:03 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Tell it like it is, boys

The truth shall set you free

"If you're a fantasy baseball player, don't pick anybody from the Orioles. ... Nobody is going to pop your eyes out. But if you're in the American League East, bring your lunch, because you're going to need it." - Kevin Millar

by duck on May 9, 2008 11:05 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

nice play, kevin.

by getxstoked on May 9, 2008 11:07 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Everyone check out already?

Go Shutdown!

"If you're a fantasy baseball player, don't pick anybody from the Orioles. ... Nobody is going to pop your eyes out. But if you're in the American League East, bring your lunch, because you're going to need it." - Kevin Millar

by duck on May 9, 2008 11:20 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

WTF with all the broken bats

Is maple that much more fragile than ash?

"If you're a fantasy baseball player, don't pick anybody from the Orioles. ... Nobody is going to pop your eyes out. But if you're in the American League East, bring your lunch, because you're going to need it." - Kevin Millar

by duck on May 9, 2008 11:22 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Shit shit

"If you're a fantasy baseball player, don't pick anybody from the Orioles. ... Nobody is going to pop your eyes out. But if you're in the American League East, bring your lunch, because you're going to need it." - Kevin Millar

by duck on May 9, 2008 11:26 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Sherrill really like to stress us out doesn't he

I just got in, I can’t believe Trax was even decent

by math_geek on May 9, 2008 11:29 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

That out call at first

was a bit of a gift. I’ll take it.

"If you're a fantasy baseball player, don't pick anybody from the Orioles. ... Nobody is going to pop your eyes out. But if you're in the American League East, bring your lunch, because you're going to need it." - Kevin Millar

by duck on May 9, 2008 11:29 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Good night, game over, drive home safely

And damn if the O’s didn’t win a Trax start!

"If you're a fantasy baseball player, don't pick anybody from the Orioles. ... Nobody is going to pop your eyes out. But if you're in the American League East, bring your lunch, because you're going to need it." - Kevin Millar

by duck on May 9, 2008 11:30 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Game Over

Lil Flip style.

OlsonMania tomorrow.

by dtuck81 on May 9, 2008 11:32 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

sweep?

an then the momentum going against Boston soon may be some interesting games.

by Michael18 on May 10, 2008 1:58 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Even in Moscow you could feel the earth...slowly...stop...turning: Trax won!!!

Which, to be fair to the gods of this sport, really only demonstrates once again (like we needed another demonstration) that baseball is a game in which even very bad teams win 40% of the time—and somebody has to pick up the wins. That said, way to hang in there, Hombre de Trasho! Your locker stays warm til June, looks like.

And just to make the morning sweeter — after the two acetominophen to counter the remnants of last night’s Victory Day celebration (pretty good fireworks, although everybody seems to agree the show’s Not As Good As It Used To Be- but then where DON’T people say that about almost everything?) — you check the AL boxes and find, like a little present you’d missed under the tree or a 500 ruble note turning up in the pocket of your other pants, the notation that Papelbon pulled a Sucktitude Double, picking up a blown save and a loss. A-a-a-a-a-h-h-h…NOW I’m ready to start the day with a smile.

Olson gets the start tonight, presumably after he gets off the phone advising his twin sisters Mary-Kate and Other One to get a new fashion consultant. I was shocked - shocked! - by that story. What? Really? Well, they might’ve changed the spelling just so people can always distinguishe them from their famous baseball player brother, like Billie Jean Moffitt changing the spelling of her last name so as not to be confused with Randy. Yeah, her variant was K-I-N-G. Anyway, which is the Evil Twin, I can never remember, MK or OO?

I will sober up by early afternoon, I’m virtually certain. Go O’s!

Rah Rah Rasputin / Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that / Really loved Birds. -- Boney M

by Titov on May 10, 2008 2:24 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

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Milwaukee Brewers third baseman Mat Gamel can't field a bunt by Chicago Cubs' Kosuke Fukudome, of Japan, during the first inning of a baseball game in Chicago, Thursday, Sept. 17, 2009.(AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh)

Brewers Third Baseman Mat Gamel Diagnosed With 'Slightly' Torn Lat

Texas Rangers'  Nelson Cruz, left, and Chris Davis, center, are congratulated by Toby Hall, right, after they scored on a double by Elvis Andrus against the Colorado Rockies in the third inning of  a Cactus League spring baseball game in Tucson, Ariz., on Thursday, March 11, 2010. (AP Photo/Ed Andrieski)

SB Nation's 2010 MLB Previews: Texas Rangers, Dripping With Promise

In this photo taken on Sunday, Feb. 21, 2010, Colorado Rockies pitcher Huston Street throws from the mound during baseball spring training in Tucson, Ariz. Street has not worked out with the team in four days because of a sore shoulder. (AP Photo/Ed Andrieski) +1 updates

Rockies Closer Huston Street To Start Season On DL

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