The Birdland Address
One score and three years ago an unknown force brought forth in the deep south, a new Birdland savior, conceived miraculously to a bat and glove, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are less equal than he.
Now we are engaged in a terrible war, testing the PHN, or MFY, and the Rays formerly known as Devil, that will end their reigns. We are met on a great path of bases of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of the path between first and second, but closer to second, as a final resting place for those who are less powerful than Wieters, every challenger. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we will not dedicate -- will not consecrate -- will not hallow -- this ground. The "speedy" men, all dead, who struggled here, thought they were far above his power only to be gunned down. The world will long remember what he says and does here, and will never forget what they tried here. It is for he, The Wieters, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who floundered under PA have thus far so nobly advanced.
It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great Wieters -- that from these dead, victims of the cannon, we take increased delight in the ineptitude that led them to the last full attempt of thievery -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall have died in vain -- that Birdland, under Wieters, shall have a new birth of winning -- and that the League of America shall not perish to the likes of PHN or MFY ever again.
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Comments
HA
I want the dude from Monty Python who read about the Holy Hand Grenade to read this.
by Timmy L. on May 29, 2009 9:40 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
What, no hatred for the BJs?
They’ve won the WS twice since we’ve won it and THAT MANAGER is back in charge again. We need to save the world from those unAmerican invaders…
"I’m going to go out and buy pizzas for everybody, and we’re going to have a pajama party out there waiting for Wieters..." - Dave Trembley
by duck on May 29, 2009 9:44 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Yeah..
but the hatred for them just isn’t there, generally, like it is for The Others. I mean they’re more like the annoying little brother whilt The Others are the mean bullies.
Jioe Flaacco, Hon!!! "He’s like a live JUGS machine."
by dayzd toe on May 29, 2009 9:51 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I hate them more than PHN
I hate PHN fans more than the BJs, but as far as teams, BJs top PHN for me.
CITO STILL SUCKS!
"I’m going to go out and buy pizzas for everybody, and we’re going to have a pajama party out there waiting for Wieters..." - Dave Trembley
by duck on May 29, 2009 10:00 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Wow
this might be a bit… dangerous… to say here, but the BJ’s have always been to me like the Redskins are as a Giants fan. Sure, I dislike them, but I really dont care all that much. I mean… they are the BJ’s. MFY’s are my least favorite team by far, and the PHN fans are my least favorite fans by far, but Toronto is pretty far beneath either of them in terms of hatred for me.
"I’m sure glad he didn’t try to bunt." - DD on Melmo's game winning double, 6/17
by daveh873 on May 29, 2009 10:29 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
huh...
definitely diff for skins fans. i can think of some bitter playoff losses to the giants, not to mention one of the worst football games i have ever seen, which was against the giants…sort of like how that late 80s.early 90s jays seemed to always bitterly eclipse the o’s at the last minute. particularly the why not o’s!
"If they pitch to you, make them pay."
--Diamond Dave to the Phenom
by j.q. higgins on May 29, 2009 10:54 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I guess thats why I dont really care
not to be the conceited Giants fan, but all the real meaningful games I really remember were against the Eagles and the Cowboys. The skins were always the 2 games I wasnt so worried about.
and I’m guessing the “horrible” game you were talking about was the one 2 seasons ago where the Giants made the goal line stop?
"I’m sure glad he didn’t try to bunt." - DD on Melmo's game winning double, 6/17
by daveh873 on May 29, 2009 11:16 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
no, no...
to sum up:
-gus frerotte runs for touchdown; gives self concussion during td celebration
i guess i could really stop there, but…
-w/ time expiring and the game tied 7-7 (in a downpour, no less), albert connell (who would later be run out of the league after stealing money from rickey williams locker) failed to run out of bounds, though he was near the sidelines. game goes to OT.
-w/ time expiring in OT, albert connell: wash, rinse, repeat. luckil, skins have a time out.
-michael westbrook catches dramatic pass to put skins in fg range, proceeds to thump chest and remove helmet. 15 yard unsportsmanlike penalty called, fg missed, time expires.
7-7 tie. skins end season 8-7-1, would have been in playoffs at 9-7.
i don’t really hate the giants, i guess, i just don’t get how they always go so deep. they’ve never really struck me as having a bona fide super bowl team.
"If they pitch to you, make them pay."
--Diamond Dave to the Phenom
by j.q. higgins on May 29, 2009 11:40 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
ah, I now remember
I was 14 when it happened I think, so you’ll have to excuse me.
And about going so deep… depth and great role players will get you far. Its not really about the big splash signing, at least thats what the Giants have taught me, and thats why, as a Giants fan, I always have to laugh at the Skins and the cowgirls when they go the free agent route and have crappy drafts.
BTW, remember that there’s no animosity here. Just putting in my 2 cents. Not trying to be a dick. The Giants have sucked it pretty hard in the past too..
"I’m sure glad he didn’t try to bunt." - DD on Melmo's game winning double, 6/17
by daveh873 on May 29, 2009 3:02 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
no, i know...
the snyder era has been hard on skins fans.
i went to law school w/ a bunch of eagles fans during the peak of their recent run and whenever my classmates would give my shit about how the skins were, i just had to hold up three fingers and say, “kiss the rings!” to shut ’em up.
"If they pitch to you, make them pay."
--Diamond Dave to the Phenom
by j.q. higgins on May 29, 2009 3:49 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
That was beautiful (wipes single tear from my eye)
"We're so bad right now that for us back-to-back home runs means one today and another one tomorrow." ~ Earl Weaver
by Graham71681 on May 29, 2009 10:03 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Were I man of photoshop talents
I would paste Wieters on this poster:
by PhilR8 on May 29, 2009 6:21 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Jioe Flaacco, Hon!!! "He’s like a live JUGS machine."
by dayzd toe on May 30, 2009 11:44 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
BOOG!!! WATCH OUT!!!
"I’m sure glad he didn’t try to bunt." - DD on Melmo's game winning double, 6/17
by daveh873 on Jun 2, 2009 4:48 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Nice! And I'm glad I didn't have to read the 3-hr. address titled Our Friend Peter Angelos that preceded this one at the ceremony!
"Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning." Churchill,1942-- a rebuilding year.
by Titov on Jun 3, 2009 8:49 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

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