we suck we suck we suck we suck we suck we suck we SUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Title courtesy of O'sFan21.  Tragically, I didn't actually watch the game, so I'll do my darndest to recap it.

It all started on a hot and humid Washington D.C. evening.  John Smoltz was making his much awaited comeback with the Boston Red Sox.  Wait, wrong game.....I mean, the O's took on the Florida Marlins in a clash of two titans.  Rich Hill was on the mound for the O's, fresh off a masterful start against the Phils.  Well, that was last week.  This week, he wasn't so good.  The casual eye might notice his solid line of 1BB and 6K, but everyone else notices the 8H and 6R, including 2HR.  It's too bad because we were running the bases with Rich Hill last night.  We didn't even get out of his chronicled little league days when he got the boot for freakishly tall Mark Hendrickson (who pitched very un-Mark Hendrickson-like).  Then we brought in Chris Ray.  Wow.  Five words I never wish to hear uttered again:  we brought in Chris Ray.  He sucked before he went to AAA and he sucks just as hard now that he's back.  I guess that's proof that AAA stats just don't translate to the bigs.  Or whatever team he dominated for 16 innings or however much he pitched sucked worse than him.  Anyways, he came in and promptly gave up a grand slam to none other than Hanley Ramirez, who knocked the crap out of his second 4 RBI "bleacher creature" in the series.  Yea, you get 'em Chris Ray!  "I was trying to match Rich Hill's line," said Ray following his outing.  Close, Chris, but he actually managed 4 innings. 

Meanwhile, the O's offense was on point last night, consisting of some number of hits that you can probably count on one hand.  All of them came from one player.  Yup, you guessed it fellas!  Rich Hill!  No, wait!  I'm not even sure he pitched long enough to get an AB.  In all seriousness, it was Nick Markakis (who else?).  Naturally, I couldn't hear any of that taking place because MASN2 had no audio.  Once the MASN folks figured out that only 3 people were actually watching the game, they decided to take the opportunity to meet their budget cuts and yank the audio.  Minor improvement, but I'm sure it was an ugly sight anyways.  On the bright side, neither Adam Jones NOR Luke Scott had a strikeout and Melvin "playoff experience" Mora did not ground into a double play.  Most of this was due to the fact that A) Luke Scott did not actually play and B) nobody was on base for MelMo to double up anyways.  But whatever.  Details!

In other related news, dragonflies have 6 legs but cannot walk. 

In case anybody was wondering, you can catch the O's and Gnats tonight at 7pm on both MASNHD AND MASN2.  Wow, that's a bargain.  Sad commentary on two different channels!  Hopefully MASNHD will have Hunter and Martinez because the dynamic duo of Rob Dibble and Bob Carpenter is even worse.  Trust me on that one.  Pitching matchup includes rookies Brad Bergesen and Ross Detweiler.  Stay tuned for the ever popular MBP poll.  It's a real corker today.