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Tuesday Bird Droppings

This photo makes me so happy I feel like I might burst. (Baltimore Sun photo by Karl Merton Ferron)

This photo makes me so happy I feel like I might burst. (Baltimore Sun photo by Karl Merton Ferron)

Wieters ready to step into starring role | MLB.com: News
Matt Wieters is no rookie and he's ready to hit the ball better than everyone and manage the pitchers better than everyone and throw out all of the runners better than everyone. -Stacey

Tillman feeling better, Erbe looking good
Tillman's back is still a little stiff but getting better, Erbe impresses Trembley. -Stacey

Roberts: 'It shouldn't set me back' - baltimoresun.com
Some more details on the Roberts back injury. -Stacey

Roberts: "I think this is the closest we've been."
Brian is drinking the orange Kool Aid. -Stacey

Tejada taking his time reporting to camp - baltimoresun.com
Schmuck tries to stir up trouble about Tejada waiting until the last day to report even though the Orioles don't seem to care. -Stacey

DC Landing Strip: FEROCIOUS Beltway Battle for Jesus Moniker?!
As if there wasn't enough sacrilege in the Baltimore-D.C. area, people are starting to call Stephen Strasburg "Jesus" despite the fact that Baltimore has had its own Switch Hitting Jesus for quite some time now. -Stacey

Weight and see: Spring training camps awash with big losers | USATODAY.com
USA Today hilariously lists all of the players who are in the best shape of their lives. -Stacey

MLB previews: The best and worst in the AL East - 02-22-2010
Here's a dude who doesn't know what he's talking about. "Take your pick between the Jays and Orioles. I’d probably have to say Baltimore, because at least the Jays have some potential in Dustin McGowan, Shaun Marcum (when those two are healthy), Ricky Romero and Brandon Morrow, among others." Yup, the Orioles rotation has NO potential, none at all. And don't even get me started on the part where he says the Orioles have a worse lineup than the Blue Jays. -Stacey

morrisdailyherald.com | MLB preview: Baltimore Orioles
The more I read things the less likely it makes me believe anything written on the internet at all. This guy has Pie in LF and Hendrickson in the rotation. -Stacey

Star-divide

Brian Matusz talks Spring Training, including his opinion on everyone's favorite mentor. 

 

0 recs  |  Comment 87 comments |

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You know

Luke is buttering up Pie so when Felix mysteriously gets shot in the leg, no one thinks it was him and just like that Luke gets playing time consideration in the outfield.

by daveh873 on Feb 23, 2010 7:18 AM EST reply actions   1 recs

There’s nothing wrong with believing what you read on the Internet…maybe just steer clear of the Morris Daily Herald, whatever the hell that is. The guy doesn’t even mention Chris Tillman.

"The United States is the New York Yankees of countries...powerful and respected until the year 2000." - Homer J. Simpson

by Brotz13 on Feb 23, 2010 8:05 AM EST via mobile reply actions  

I don't understand

Why people talk about things they know nothing about. Does the Morris Daily Herald really need to do team-by-team previews? Can’t they just reference people who know what they’re doing?

"It feels like home,’’ Pie said. "All my friends are here."

by Stacey on Feb 23, 2010 9:57 AM EST up reply actions  

Because it generates more traffic for them

And it seems to work, since you linked to it.

by kba26 on Feb 23, 2010 10:02 AM EST up reply actions  

I suppose

I guess I can’t grasp doing something so half assed.

"It feels like home,’’ Pie said. "All my friends are here."

by Stacey on Feb 23, 2010 10:11 AM EST up reply actions  

My caption for that great photo

“Maybe we can both play left field at the same time…for the really long fly balls, I’ll carry you part of the way and then release you like a skeet…”

by Fred Sanford on Feb 23, 2010 8:10 AM EST reply actions  

Brilliant

"It feels like home,’’ Pie said. "All my friends are here."

by Stacey on Feb 23, 2010 9:22 AM EST via mobile up reply actions  

+2

"Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning." Churchill,1942-- a rebuilding year.

by Titov on Feb 23, 2010 11:16 AM EST up reply actions  

ha ha ha ha ha

"I doubt he could reach [second base]...mostly cuz his fucking arm was in Aybar's nuts." – twistedlogic

by zknower on Feb 23, 2010 11:18 AM EST up reply actions  

Wow, "soon-to-be-journeyman" outfielder Nick Swisher lost 12 lbs, putting his weight WELL below his, um, statistic-we-don't-mention

No, not IQ.

2. “Take your pick between the Jays and Orioles.” Thank you, I have. Guy’s hilarious, all right.

3. I assume the Morris Daily Herald is written by Morris the Cat. http://en.wikivisual.com/index.php/Morris_the_Cat

Actually, no: the cat has gotta be smarter.

"Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning." Churchill,1942-- a rebuilding year.

by Titov on Feb 23, 2010 8:45 AM EST reply actions  

Don't mock our Mentor

Look at his results. Braves drafted him 1993. The Braves go on to win the next 4 Cy Youngs. Then he goes to Cleveland, and turn Sabathia and Lee into Cy Young winners. It’s no coincidence.

"Hey Yankees... you can take your apology and your trophy and shove 'em straight up your ass!" --Tanner Boyle

by BirdFanInPhilly on Feb 23, 2010 8:46 AM EST reply actions  

and now feldman's a solid pitcher

Don't give up, don't ever give up. - Jim Valvano

by BaltimoreSportsFan on Feb 23, 2010 11:30 AM EST up reply actions  

Thanks

I wanted to say thanks for Stacey for standing up for our rotation on that AL East preview on Covers. That was one of the most half-assed AL East previews I have seen yet, and I would have said something myself but I was so appalled I could not bring myself to long in and rebut the ridiculousness, thus validating their opinions.

by DiffFan08 on Feb 23, 2010 8:50 AM EST reply actions  

According to the "INTERNET", this is how our lineup and rotation look:

Roberts – 2B
Tejada – 3B
Markakis – RF
Pie – LF
Jones – CF
Scott – DH
Wieters – C
Izturis — SS
Aubrey – 1B

Millwood
Guthrie
Uehara
Hendrickson
Matusz

by brek on Feb 23, 2010 9:07 AM EST reply actions  

First!

Nice job Stacey getting in with the first comment in that horrible Al East Preview:
http://www.covers.com/articles/articles.aspx?theArt=182515&t=0

by brek on Feb 23, 2010 9:10 AM EST reply actions  

oops

that site is denied for me at work. I hate when that happens.

"It feels like home,’’ Pie said. "All my friends are here."

by Stacey on Feb 23, 2010 9:37 AM EST up reply actions  

Me, too

I was half expecting to be fired when the “This site is blocked: Gambling” appeared on my work station.

"The moment you stop thinking you're the best, it's time for you to get out the game." -'King' Mo Lawal

by duck on Feb 23, 2010 9:50 AM EST up reply actions  

It's probably for the best

The top banner is a woman’s ass in a thong. That’s fine and all, but work is probably not the best place for it.

by PhilR8 on Feb 23, 2010 9:51 AM EST up reply actions  

I didn't realize it was a gambling site

I didn’t really do much exploring of the joint after reading that ridiculous article.

"It feels like home,’’ Pie said. "All my friends are here."

by Stacey on Feb 23, 2010 9:58 AM EST up reply actions  

That was a moronic preview.

Vizzini: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?
Man in Black: Yes.
Vizzini: Morons.

by birdman on Feb 23, 2010 12:33 PM EST up reply actions  

Hey

that was a terrible preview, which begs the question “why do people insist on doing previews for every team when they clearly don’t know shit about 3/4 of them?” Heck, I’m not trying to do a preview on the Athletics or the Twins. It would make me look like a damn fool.

However, if you’re going to dump on the Orioles without any research to back that up (I love how it’s a bad thing to have Millwood and Guts at the top of the rotation, but it’s just fine to have Ricky Romero and Dustin McGowan – or at least not worth mentioning), go for the gold. I don’t even have a real problem with a lot of what he says. For example, the Orioles do have questions at first base, and in left field (“Should the starter be Pie or Reimold?” is definitely a question, after all).

No, my only serious complaint is in having a group called “Defense and bullpen”. When I fill out a survey at a restaurant, I always leave a comment like “the taste of the food was great but I didn’t like the color of the waiter’s tie, so you only get 2 stars”. Oh wait, that analogy doesn’t work here, because that makes more sense than grouping defense and relief pitching together.

Bedard says he doesn't care and thinks goals are pointless.

by Andrew_G on Feb 23, 2010 10:15 AM EST reply actions  

I had the same reaction when I saw “Defense and Bullpen”.

"Hey Yankees... you can take your apology and your trophy and shove 'em straight up your ass!" --Tanner Boyle

by BirdFanInPhilly on Feb 23, 2010 10:19 AM EST up reply actions  

Because they can

I am sure if you look hard enough someone will have the sox rotation as the worst in the division.

by Philly O's on Feb 23, 2010 11:23 AM EST up reply actions  

I am excited too

The baseball season is very long, especially for one who plays for a bad team. Roberts must be energized to see a club that will be respectable this year. I can’t wait.

by BaltoBen on Feb 23, 2010 11:10 AM EST reply actions  

Perhaps lost in this debate over which prospect is the real Jesus

is the guy whose name is actually Jesus, Jesus Flores.

cxcxcxcxzzzzzzzzz

by Steve. on Feb 23, 2010 12:33 PM EST reply actions  

don't the yankees have a jesus too?

Don't give up, don't ever give up. - Jim Valvano

by BaltimoreSportsFan on Feb 23, 2010 12:40 PM EST up reply actions  

Jesus Shuttlesworth

…or wait. I am mixing things up. I think he was the black jewish jordan.

by b_duardo on Feb 23, 2010 12:48 PM EST up reply actions  

Yes.

I believe it’s called the Almighty Dollar.

by Jonny Pops on Feb 23, 2010 1:23 PM EST up reply actions  

The Baltimore Orioles

and the almighty ch-ch-ch-chopper

The stock market will never recover, our armies will never again be #1, and our children will drink filthy water for the rest of their lives - HST

by the fix is in on Feb 23, 2010 2:48 PM EST up reply actions  

Jesus Montero

He’s a top 10 prospect, although he doesn’t project to stay at catcher.

To be understood is to be a prostitute. ~ Fernando Pessoa

by James F on Feb 23, 2010 1:36 PM EST up reply actions  

I just simmed Opening Day on MLB the Show (with updated rosters)

We win 5-3, somehow Millwood strikes out 10 guys, Adam Jones thinks he’s Brian Bob and has 2 doubles, and Miggi hits a dinger.

Don't give up, don't ever give up. - Jim Valvano

by BaltimoreSportsFan on Feb 23, 2010 1:00 PM EST reply actions  

Well if you go by the season that I played/simmed Millwood is gonna
go 19-3 with a 2.13 era and win the Cy Young. Just sayin.

Поклон перед вашим капитаном!

by Knubles and Bits on Feb 23, 2010 1:26 PM EST via mobile up reply actions  

he gets extra wins for mentoring the young players.

that is, of course, if he actually mentors the young players. i havent seen to much in the way of literature this winter to make me think that’s happening.

by twistedlogic on Feb 23, 2010 1:29 PM EST up reply actions  

I’m just glad that we here in Birdland now have our own worthless stat to go along with Jeter’s “intangibles”. I’ll take Millwood’s league leading Mentoring over Intangibles any day.

by brek on Feb 23, 2010 2:14 PM EST up reply actions  

As if the Royals don't have enough problems....

MLB Mascot Accused of Gruesome Wiener Attack

Sluggerrr the Lion — the mascot for the Kansas City Royals — is accused of poking a fan’s eye out with a steaming hot wiener during a Major League Baseball
game last year … and now the team is being sued over it.

It’s all in a lawsuit filed in Jackson County, Missouri in which John Coomer claims he was just chillin’ at a game on September 8, 2009 — when Slugger “climbed atop the third base dugout and started shooting hotdogs into the stands from an air gun.”

Coomer claims Slugger eventually put the air gun down — and started firing off the wieners by hand … when, according to the suit, things went horribly wrong.

In the docs, Coomer claims “Slugger lost control of his throw or was reckless with his throw, and threw the hotdog directly into the Plaintiff.”

Coomer claims the dog hit him right in his left eye — leaving him with a detached retina and the development of cataracts.

Coomer is now suing the Royals for more than $25k for negligence and battery — claiming they “failed to adequately train its agents … in the proper method in which to throw hotdogs into the stands at Kauffman Stadium.”

Remember, when handling wieners — it’s always safety first.

"It feels like home,’’ Pie said. "All my friends are here."

by Stacey on Feb 23, 2010 1:26 PM EST reply actions  

why are you throwing hot weiners?

Don't give up, don't ever give up. - Jim Valvano

by BaltimoreSportsFan on Feb 23, 2010 1:46 PM EST up reply actions  

You absolutely cannot make this stuff up

Couldn’t they just shoot t-shirts, like everyone else?

I once represented a fairly big Canadian rock band, their management and a New York promoter when one of the drum sticks the drummer routinely tosses into the crowd gave some tourist dude from Taiwan a 3 cm cut on his eyelid. Turns out the victim was a genuine Taiwanese sex object boy band sensation and TV star, with web sites for obsessed female fans, and the guy calculated that if he had to push production back on his latest flick, his limited shelf life would expire, so he was asking for $250k.

by fishoutawata on Feb 23, 2010 2:15 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm still trying to figure out how you get hit in the eye with a thrown hot dog.

I mean, it was the mascot throwing it, not Nolan Ryan. How do you not at least block it once you see it coming? And if it just slipped out of the mascot’s hand, it wouldn’t have been moving that fast…

Weaver's Fourth Law: Your most precious possessions on offense are your twenty-seven outs.

by Vuff on Feb 23, 2010 2:19 PM EST up reply actions  

doesn't matter

you shouldn’t be throwing freaking hot dogs that are actually cooked into the stands. It’s a safety hazard.

Don't give up, don't ever give up. - Jim Valvano

by BaltimoreSportsFan on Feb 23, 2010 2:28 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm not saying it isn't stupid,

but I just don’t get how this happens unless you’re not paying any attention or something. (And if you aren’t, how do you get hit in the eye? Presumably, you’d have to be looking in the general direction of the mascot…)

Plus, there’s a certain amount of irony involved. You’re at an event where a screaming foul line drive can seriously injure you, but no, this guy gets significant eye damage from a flying hot dog?

Weaver's Fourth Law: Your most precious possessions on offense are your twenty-seven outs.

by Vuff on Feb 23, 2010 2:44 PM EST up reply actions  

Just firing a few possiblities
  • reading a program, looks up as it’s being thrown, doesn’t react fast enough
  • talking to someone and ignoring whats going on around him

Don't give up, don't ever give up. - Jim Valvano

by BaltimoreSportsFan on Feb 23, 2010 3:01 PM EST up reply actions  

And just how sharp was this hot dog?

How hard does a hot dog have to be thrown to become a weapon?

"It feels like home,’’ Pie said. "All my friends are here."

by Stacey on Feb 23, 2010 3:19 PM EST up reply actions  

it's a steaming hot weiner

it could come in at 2mph, it’d still be a red hot weiner.

Don't give up, don't ever give up. - Jim Valvano

by BaltimoreSportsFan on Feb 23, 2010 3:36 PM EST up reply actions  

Temperature

does not explain detaching a retina.

by O'sFan21 on Feb 23, 2010 3:42 PM EST up reply actions  

this is ridiculous

people need to be paying more attention to their surroundings. I don’t see how any of this should be the fault of the mascot.

Regardless of fault, accidents happen. I think the team should foot some of the bill for this simply as showing good faith, and it’s not like a few thousand dollars is going to damage their budget much, but this guy needs to shoulder some of the blame for being ignorant of what was happening around him. What would happen if he got hit in the head with a baseball?

by young, loud and Scotty on Feb 23, 2010 3:43 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Agreed

I almost can’t believe he’s suing for just $25K, although the lawsuit is ridiculous.

"Hey Yankees... you can take your apology and your trophy and shove 'em straight up your ass!" --Tanner Boyle

by BirdFanInPhilly on Feb 23, 2010 3:47 PM EST up reply actions  

i think he wouldn't sue if the baseball hit him

because he’s know that’s a risk he takes, and he already knows that could happen, how ever, he has no prior warning that there’s gonna be hot dogs flung in the air. By prior warning I mean well in advance, the prior warning for the dogs had to be a couple minutes.

Don't give up, don't ever give up. - Jim Valvano

by BaltimoreSportsFan on Feb 23, 2010 3:52 PM EST up reply actions  

I would be surprised if they didn't make any sort of announcement

I’ve never been to any sort of sporting event when during a break in the action there have been give-aways thrown from the court, field, or whatever and not an announcement made. I can’t imagine the mascot just winging hotdogs into the stands.

Also, the guy clearly states he saw the mascot shooting/throwing the dogs in advance of being hit in the eye: "climbed atop the third base dugout and started shooting hotdogs into the stands from an air gun."

I don’t see how he expects to win this lawsuit, but for the fact that this country’s legal system is so screwed up that the court decides to award him the money despite his own lack of awareness.

In addition to this, by claiming that, "Slugger lost control of his throw or was reckless with his throw, and threw the hotdog directly into the Plaintiff.," is it safe for us to assume that if he had been hit in the eye by a hotdog shot from the air gun that he would not have sued? No. He’d be suing or exactly the same thing.

by young, loud and Scotty on Feb 23, 2010 4:06 PM EST up reply actions  

that's not my point

he’s well aware before the game happens that he could get struck with a baseball, he buys the tix knwoing that laready, what he didn’t know was that there was going to a shower of hot dogs going on where he was sitting.

BTW, I agree, I’m just playing devil’s avocate (sp)

Don't give up, don't ever give up. - Jim Valvano

by BaltimoreSportsFan on Feb 23, 2010 4:44 PM EST up reply actions  

haha, true, true

I actually had a discussion with a friend over this while lounging about our favorite coffee shop. I came to the conclusion that the article itself is quite vague on how this came about.

Did the guy write to the Royals and ask for some reimbursement for the incident and, assuming that they told him to piss off he decided to sue for damages?

Is it possible to repair a detached retina, and if so how much does that cost? Is the $25k a reasonable amount of money to ask for, or too much?

Etc.

by young, loud and Scotty on Feb 23, 2010 4:55 PM EST up reply actions  

Have you ever eaten one of those foil wrapped wieners?

Steaming hot is not how I’d describe them.

"It feels like home,’’ Pie said. "All my friends are here."

by Stacey on Feb 23, 2010 3:50 PM EST up reply actions  

It's awesome

I’ve been to a Royals game and I thought it was the coolest thing. I just wish I had seats good enough to get poked in the eye by a hot dog.

by Gorilla Bird on Feb 23, 2010 4:27 PM EST up reply actions  

SERIOUSLY?

Do you seriously believe throwing cooked hot dogs is a safety hazard? (And somehow, rolled-up T-shirts somehow isn’t?)

It’s not a safety hazard. It’s a fluke accident that some jackass is turning into a lawsuit.

Society has gotten WAY too overprotective.

"I doubt he could reach [second base]...mostly cuz his fucking arm was in Aybar's nuts." – twistedlogic

by zknower on Feb 23, 2010 6:27 PM EST up reply actions  

that guy is lucky

he coulda taken a chipotle burrito to the face.

by twistedlogic on Feb 24, 2010 12:45 PM EST up reply actions  

Comes down to reasonable expectations

There’s a reasonable expectation a baseball may come into the stands. That’s why when I go to games with my son, I like being behind teh screen when possible, since he can’t track moving objects well.

I think it’s not reasonable to ask people to expect to have to dodge hot dogs projected by compressed air at close range.

"The moment you stop thinking you're the best, it's time for you to get out the game." -'King' Mo Lawal

by duck on Feb 24, 2010 12:57 PM EST up reply actions  

It wasn't projected by compressed air

At least not the one that hit the dude in the eye. Also when King Sluggggerrr or The Bird whoever is in your section throwing stuff around it’s pretty obvious. You should pay attention. Baseballs come into the stands at over 100 mph and are sometimes impossible to get out of the way of, but a flying hot dog? Come on.

"It feels like home,’’ Pie said. "All my friends are here."

by Stacey on Feb 24, 2010 1:24 PM EST up reply actions  

seriously

how fast can a hot dog be moving anyways?

by twistedlogic on Feb 24, 2010 2:13 PM EST up reply actions  

v2(DU/TU) = Sqrt[mu(DU^3/TU^2) * (2 / r2(DU) – 1 / at(DU))]

by PhilR8 on Feb 24, 2010 2:59 PM EST up reply actions  

I search "orbital mechanics"

and this was from one of the hits. This is some sort of velocity formula!

by PhilR8 on Feb 24, 2010 10:48 PM EST up reply actions  

lol

only a few of those terms make any sense to me whatsoever. hopefully that hot dog aint orbiting.

by twistedlogic on Feb 25, 2010 9:35 PM EST up reply actions  

You made that up, didn't you?

"The moment you stop thinking you're the best, it's time for you to get out the game." -'King' Mo Lawal

by duck on Feb 24, 2010 10:15 PM EST up reply actions  

What exactly is

the proper way to throw hotdogs into the stands that the Royals should have taught their mascot? See if they had Millwood to mentor the mascot, this never would have happened.

"I think it's a disgrace they only beat the average team by 10 games in the standings with three times the money. I'd fire that GM. You don't need a GM. All you have to do is buy the last Cy Young Award winner every year" - Steve Bisciotti on the NY Yankees

by Gregory O on Feb 23, 2010 3:18 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

REC'D!!

That’s hilarious.

Don't give up, don't ever give up. - Jim Valvano

by BaltimoreSportsFan on Feb 23, 2010 3:24 PM EST up reply actions  

Who is "The Prez"

And why should I believe anything he says? The Blue Jays clearly are not going to be better then the Orioles. They lost that one guy, whats his name agian?

"Chicks who dig home runs aren’t the ones who appeal to me, I think there’s sexiness in infield hits because they require technique. I’d rather impress the chicks with my technique than with my brute strength. Then, every now and then, just to show I can do that, too, I might flirt a little by hitting one out."-Ichiro

by WestcoastO'sFan on Feb 23, 2010 2:09 PM EST reply actions  

aj burnett, right?

Don't give up, don't ever give up. - Jim Valvano

by BaltimoreSportsFan on Feb 23, 2010 2:17 PM EST up reply actions  

He's your financial advisor

"Hey Yankees... you can take your apology and your trophy and shove 'em straight up your ass!" --Tanner Boyle

by BirdFanInPhilly on Feb 23, 2010 3:24 PM EST up reply actions  

Lenny Dysktra?

Bedard says he doesn't care and thinks goals are pointless.

by Andrew_G on Feb 23, 2010 3:29 PM EST up reply actions  

He offers a great deal

Just $400/month for his picks. http://experts.covers.com/handicapper.aspx?ce=324203

I love the sports gambling experts, especially the bio’s they write about themselves. He even goes a bit third person by creating “Team Perez” to describe himself.

"Hey Yankees... you can take your apology and your trophy and shove 'em straight up your ass!" --Tanner Boyle

by BirdFanInPhilly on Feb 23, 2010 3:34 PM EST up reply actions  

From Buster Olney on Twitter

Best line of the spring so far: Andrew Jones showed up in great shape, about 25 pounds lighter than last year. And he proclaimed to others, “I am the best CFer you guys have in camp.” To which Joey Cora replied, “You should be. Only pitchers and catchers have reported.”

"It feels like home,’’ Pie said. "All my friends are here."

by Stacey on Feb 23, 2010 3:51 PM EST reply actions  

I always liked Joey Cora

is he a coach or something? what is he doing in our camp?

cxcxcxcxzzzzzzzzz

by Steve. on Feb 23, 2010 3:52 PM EST up reply actions  

For that matter

What is Andruw Jones doing in our camp?

 ;-)

"It feels like home,’’ Pie said. "All my friends are here."

by Stacey on Feb 23, 2010 3:53 PM EST up reply actions  

Don't worry

Gary Thorne makes that mistake all the time.

"It feels like home,’’ Pie said. "All my friends are here."

by Stacey on Feb 23, 2010 3:56 PM EST up reply actions  

Moral of the story:

Joey Cora is cool! Steve. is not!

cxcxcxcxzzzzzzzzz

by Steve. on Feb 23, 2010 4:02 PM EST up reply actions  

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