Source: Ripken to Join Orioles Front Office

Cal Ripken Jr. is headed home.
via cdn1.sbnation.com
Ed. Note (zknower): This is stunning. I'm sure this will fire up Kevin Cowherd and Keith Melchior, who are bound to interpret this news as the beginning of the end for Dave Trembley.
I am reprinting the entire article, as the source website (link at bottom) keeps going down because of traffic.
Source: Ripken to Join Orioles Front Office
Iron Man Comes Home
AP--Baltimore, MD.
The most famous Bird of them all is returning to the nest.
A source within the Baltimore Orioles organization states that Cal Ripken Jr., perennial All-Star and the face of the team for the better part of two decades, will be joining the front office later this spring "in an advisory role." A press conference has been scheduled for 3:00 p.m. on Thursday.
Ripken's hiring continues a Warehouse reorganization that began a week ago when the team replaced farm director David Stockstill with his brother John. The motives behind that move were widely questioned by local media at the time; it now seems apparent that Orioles President of Baseball Operations Andy MacPhail was paving the way for the announcement of Ripken's hiring.
The move is sure to spark discussion regarding Ripken's and the Orioles' long-term plans. Ripken has openly talked of his interest in managing in the majors, telling Bloomberg in an interview last month, "When my boy goes off to college [in 2012], if there’s a time to come back to the game, maybe that’s the time."
Hiring Ripken could be seen as the Orioles' down payment on giving him a future managerial job: a chance for him to learn how the organization works off the field, while still affording him plenty of time with his youngest son, Ryan, who is a sophomore in high school.
Another possibility is that he is being groomed for a general manager's role: there is widespread speculation that MacPhail will replace Bud Selig as baseball's commissioner when Selig steps down in 2012.
Ripken's experience following his playing career would seem to prepare him for any number of roles: he has served as an on-air studio analyst, has been active internationally (promoting baseball in China as a special envoy for the U.S. State Department in 2008), and has built a small empire of baseball clinics and minor-league teams, including the purchase of the Vero Beach Devil Rays (now the Charlotte Stone Crabs) two years ago.
Whatever the future holds, the hiring is sure to excite a devoted fan base that is desperate to see their once-proud franchise return to its winning past. There has been a concern for years that Ripken might wind up working for a rival team, perhaps even taking a job in the Orioles' backyard with the Washington Nationals.
Reached for comment, current manager Dave Trembley bristled as he emphatically stated he is unconcerned about his job security, despite the fact that in two and a half years, his teams have an overall winning percentage of .413.
"Hiring Cal is one of the smartest things this organization could have done—only a simpleton wouldn't appreciate what he's done for this town and this team. I welcome the move. I think anyone who thinks it's a cover for something else is just being duped....Cal and I are great friends, and he'll be a tremendous asset to the Orioles; he's not some chump like a lot of these ex-ballplayers….To keep my job, I know that I just have to win. I'm not a dope....Guys, I'm telling you right now, I take it real personal. I don't like losing…I live and die with this team. And you dimwits are trolling for some story that isn't there. It's not there. But you'll write it into your moronic columns anyway. Right now it's the first day of April and we're opening against James Shields and the Tampa Bay Rays in six days. It would be foolish for me to get distracted by this kind of speculation."
Source: Chicago Sentinel
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Dammit
I fall for this shit every year but this one, unlike the Pedro Martinez “signing,” would have been awesome in so many ways.
"There's only one cure for what's wrong with all of us pitchers, and that's to take a year off. Then, after you've gone a year without throwing, quit altogether." -Jim Palmer
Not this year. This year I looked for “Chicago Sentinel.”
Bad Left Hook
"To the town of Agua Fria rode a stranger one fine day..."
Yes, i remembered what you said last year.
i think the “chicago sentinel” will always be the source from now on.
"I doubt he could reach [second base]...mostly cuz his fucking arm was in Aybar's nuts." – twistedlogic
Har har har
Good one….almost fell for it.
"Real Orioles don't pout. Real Orioles don't gloat. Real Orioles just win."
Grrr. Got me.
I always forget what day it is, and then something on the internet gets me, and then I don’t trust anything I read online for the rest of the day. Good job, though.
Weaver's Fourth Law: Your most precious possessions on offense are your twenty-seven outs.
Nice one, z
For the newbies in the crowd, here are zk’s last two masterpieces:
Orioles ink Pedro one-year deal (which include the often stolen, rarely credited, totally awesome photoshopped pic of Andy and Pedro)
Roberts Traded! (the one that really got me)
This just in: adorableness on the rise, family copes with child getting schooled. Film at 11. -daveh873
The roberts one was brilliant
It was hard not to fall for it
"I have seen the future and his name is Matt Wieters." Keith Law
by Reddrummer9187 on Apr 1, 2010 8:49 AM EDT up reply actions
Here's the best part for me
Some of those Trembley quotes are real.
Guys, I’m telling you right now, I take it real personal. I don’t like losing…I live and die with this team.
He’s actually said that at some point.
"The moment you stop thinking you're the best, it's time for you to get out the game." -'King' Mo Lawal
stole that quote from his b-r page
sponsored by one monsieur duck.
"I doubt he could reach [second base]...mostly cuz his fucking arm was in Aybar's nuts." – twistedlogic
Yes, yes I did. :)
"The moment you stop thinking you're the best, it's time for you to get out the game." -'King' Mo Lawal
i tried to pack as many synonyms for "fool" in the trembley quote as possible.
"I doubt he could reach [second base]...mostly cuz his fucking arm was in Aybar's nuts." – twistedlogic
I really wish those Trembley quotes were real
I’m going to treat them as such, anyway.
"Believe it or not, I read the paper." - Nick Markakis
A few are....
"The moment you stop thinking you're the best, it's time for you to get out the game." -'King' Mo Lawal
my fav
“Cal and I are great friends, and he’ll be a tremendous asset to the Orioles; he’s not some chump like a lot of these ex-ballplayers…”
"Believe it or not, I read the paper." - Nick Markakis
cough ROB DIBBLE cough
"The moment you stop thinking you're the best, it's time for you to get out the game." -'King' Mo Lawal
Nice one...
….I came specifically to see what zk would put up for April Fool’s. Good choice!
I've got nothing against the bunt...in its place. But most of the time that place is the bottom of a long-forgotten closet. - Earl Weaver
http://dempseysarmy.blogspot.com
I hate you
I woke up this morning wondering what CC was gonna pull today, so I came into it already knowing, but damn if I didn’t wish this were true.
Dang it!
I totally fell for it. After reading the Trembley quote I was a little shocked at his tone but I still didn’t think it was a fake. Nice job.
My hopes for the day have been dashed!
I knew it was a phony
as soon as I saw “zknower” in the byline.
Gotta make it more elaborate next year Z. I suggest creating a new handle in January 2011, posting a few FanPosts with it. Then do the phony story on April Fools and have someone frontpage it for you.
good point
although that sounds like an awful lot of work.
"I doubt he could reach [second base]...mostly cuz his fucking arm was in Aybar's nuts." – twistedlogic
What can I tell you....
…the well has run dry for you on these things with us oldtimers. It’s going to take more work.
i would think oldtimers...
…will not believe anything they see on CC the morning of April 1. No matter who writes it.
It’s all about who’s paying attention to the calendar and who isn’t.
"I doubt he could reach [second base]...mostly cuz his fucking arm was in Aybar's nuts." – twistedlogic
You could always
post something that’s true, then watch everyone not believe it. That’s always good fun.
"I wouldn't mind seeing someone erase my record of hitting into four triple plays" - Brooks
HAHA
what a joke! that would never happen!
oh…oh wait….
by twistedlogic on Apr 1, 2010 12:46 PM EDT up reply actions
Y'know
This could be an interesting exercise though. Call it Blog Acting. Create a new alter ego character for the site to mix it up in various discussions…that is if you haven’t already AMA, umm, Z.
Don't worry
I grasped the subtlety of your wit, Voltaire. And as usual you have nothing of import to add. Moving on.
"I doubt he could reach [second base]...mostly cuz his fucking arm was in Aybar's nuts." – twistedlogic
OMG He is AMA!
"The moment you stop thinking you're the best, it's time for you to get out the game." -'King' Mo Lawal
that's actually a direct quote.
"I doubt he could reach [second base]...mostly cuz his fucking arm was in Aybar's nuts." – twistedlogic
Best ones you've seen so far today?
I’m partial to this one. Because I know some parents that wouldn’t think it’s fake.
"The moment you stop thinking you're the best, it's time for you to get out the game." -'King' Mo Lawal
that's awesome
i love that they actually included some rankings after.
the only one i’ve seen so far is masn. i checked SI, but nothing going on there.
"I doubt he could reach [second base]...mostly cuz his fucking arm was in Aybar's nuts." – twistedlogic
I love the names they created for the daycare centers
The quotes sell it, too.
“Preschool rankings will give coaches a leg up in identifying future All-Americans in their programs,” said former college wrestling coach Donnie Dinges. “You cannot start the recruiting process soon enough.”
“We are very excited about this new offering for wrestling fans,” said InterMat president Jeremy Hipps. “Our sport demands that we start evaluating the best talent at a very young age. We are viewing this as a win-win for fans, parents, and coaches.”
"The moment you stop thinking you're the best, it's time for you to get out the game." -'King' Mo Lawal
oh, did you see the thing youtube is doing?
It’s very cool.
Take any YouTube video, and add “&textp=fool” to the end. Or click any vid on their front page right now.
"I doubt he could reach [second base]...mostly cuz his fucking arm was in Aybar's nuts." – twistedlogic
THIS is funny
You’ve heard of HD formats like 720p and 1080p. Well, today we’re offering a new way to experience YouTube: text-only mode or TEXTp. Try it out by clicking on any of the videos below and read more about this endeavor in our blog: http://youtube-global.blogspot.com/
"The moment you stop thinking you're the best, it's time for you to get out the game." -'King' Mo Lawal
Very disappointing
A different kind of company name
4/01/2010 12:01:00 AM
Early last month the mayor of Topeka, Kansas stunned the world by announcing that his city was changing its name to Google. We’ve been wondering ever since how best to honor that moving gesture. Today we are pleased to announce that as of 1AM (Central Daylight Time) April 1st, Google has officially changed our name to Topeka.
LAME
"The moment you stop thinking you're the best, it's time for you to get out the game." -'King' Mo Lawal
the photoshop job on their campus sign was terrible.
I mean I could do better than this:

"I doubt he could reach [second base]...mostly cuz his fucking arm was in Aybar's nuts." – twistedlogic
You HAVE done better than that.
"The moment you stop thinking you're the best, it's time for you to get out the game." -'King' Mo Lawal
mildly amusing
from Hogs Haven:
PS3 Madden Tournament on new Fedex Field Screens
"I doubt he could reach [second base]...mostly cuz his fucking arm was in Aybar's nuts." – twistedlogic
that's the best thing i've seen today.
"I doubt he could reach [second base]...mostly cuz his fucking arm was in Aybar's nuts." – twistedlogic
Oldie but goodie
BBC special on “Homegrown Swiss Spaghetti crops”
"The moment you stop thinking you're the best, it's time for you to get out the game." -'King' Mo Lawal
Nice sell with the editor's note
Almost had me for a second.
Cry havoc and unleash the Esskay hot dogs of war! - The Wayward Oriole, Opening Day 2008
by Eat More Esskay on Apr 1, 2010 11:43 AM EDT reply actions
No guys this is the true story
The Lugo trade is the April Fool.
Right? RIGHT?
Matt Wieters has a sustainably high BABIP
Excellent
This one, unlike last year, I knew was happening. It’s great mainly because it’s extremely believable.
In one game as a freshman at Miami, Wieters hit a two-run homer in the top of the ninth to put the Yellow Jackets ahead, then pitched the bottom of the ninth for the save. On that day, the God nickname was bestowed. - Sports Illustrated
Unofficial Leader of the Brain Matusz For ROY Campaign
by BaltimoreSportsFan on Apr 1, 2010 3:08 PM EDT reply actions
And you almost SPOILED it for everyone yesterday.
Kids, I swear…
Darn lucky Stacey didn’t ban you.
"The moment you stop thinking you're the best, it's time for you to get out the game." -'King' Mo Lawal
I take offense at that...
Complaining is good for you as long as you're not complaining to the person you're complaining about. - Lynn Johnston (I don't know who that is...but it's a good quote.)
yeah...spending time with his youngest son...
and coaching my team!
http://draftdayencyclopedia.wordpress.com/
spread the word please!
by danielreese05 on Apr 1, 2010 6:30 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
i try to be a craftsman. ;)
"I doubt he could reach [second base]...mostly cuz his fucking arm was in Aybar's nuts." – twistedlogic




















