take one sip when:
Jones strikes out swinging on a low curve ball
Wiggy pops out
an Orioles makes a one-pitch out
an Oriole makes a stupid base running mistake
the opposing team scores an earned run

take two sips when:
the opposing team scores an unearned run
every inning past the fourth that an opposing pitcher maintains a no-hitter (take an extra sip if the pitcher is Pettite)
the opposing pitcher uses 10 pitches or less in an inning
the Orioles blow a four or more run lead
the Orioles blow a save
two fielders watch a ball fall between them that they both could have caught
the Orioles make an out with two outs and a RISP
the Orioles have runners on 2nd and 3rd with no outs and don't score
Guthrie pitches 7+ innings giving up 2 or fewer runs and still gets the loss

take three sips when:
every inning past the fourth that an opposing pitcher maintains a perfect game (take an extra sip if the pitcher is Pettite)
the Orioles four+ run lead... in the 9th
the Orioles have the bases loaded with no outs and don't score
the Orioles are shutout

chug:
the opposing pitcher throws a no-hitter
the Orioles lose by 10+ runs

replace the alcohol with poison when:
the opposing pitcher has a perfect game
the Orioles lose a game 30-3