Maybe it's not kosher to make fun of injured people, but last night while discussing Miguel Tejada's GIDP prowess with a friend, I decided it'd be funny to create some "Miguel Tejada Facts." But unlike the amazing Matt Wieters Facts, Miguel Tejada Facts would all be about how he can't do anything right.
Honestly I still like Miggi and I certainly don't blame him for this awful start to the season, but for some reason the idea of bizzarro Matt Wieters Facts seems like it has potential. So I posted the first few I came up with on my blog last night, but another friend suggested I put them up here as well so that more than 2 people will see them and maybe someone might actually contribute more.
So here are my brutal attempts at humor:
Fact #1: Miguel Tejada once led off an inning by grounding into a double play.
Fact #2: Miguel Tejada has actually grounded into a quadruple play. The Orioles had to start their next turn at bat with one out.
Fact #3: Miguel Tejada's allegedly tainted vitamin B12 shots are just a placebo. While researchers have noted a placebo effect, that effect is a positive steroids test.
Fact #4: Coaches measure Miguel Tejada's speed from home to first base using a sundial. Unless it's a routine pop-up. Then they use orbits of Haley's Comet.
Fact #5: The only time Miguel Tejada hits Eutaw Street is when he's getting a sandwich at Boog's.
Fact #6: After having his consecutive games played streak snapped in June of 2007 just 1,480 games shy of Cal Ripken's record, Tejada has set out to beat Cal's other incredible record: 350 GIDPs. That's not even remotely funny, just depressingly accurate.