Canadian Goose Eggs, Blue Jays 5 - Orioles 0

Tomorrow is CHRIS TILLMAN DAY!

All right! So we can finally begin our eighty game winning streak! So I’m thinking of watching a shitty horror movie. Any ideas? (And don’t say “just watch this game again.”)

I’m watching K-1 kickboxing on HDNet with two dozen Japanese fighters I’ve never heard off (not all at once, of course, that would be insane:) and I’m enjoying it more than the O’s at just about any point this season.

And Rampage vs Rashad tomorrow night? I might just take the rest of the weekend off from this horrible team.

that made my day.

As a Toronto native, I love being able to catch the Orioles, and despite watching loss after loss, I usually leave hopeful that things will turn around one day. It’s easy to push off the recent failures until you see the horrendous, pathetic 2010 Baltimore Orioles. I even pulled out the ol’ windbreaker on an eighty-degree night: the epitome of enthusiasm. But this wasn’t fun, this wasn’t humorous. It was humiliating, and I don’t know where to begin.

The reality is that the team has given up. Of course, there’s little talent, but also little heart. I watched guys today like the sprawling Corey Patterson, the reborn Ty Wigginton, and the persevering Kevin Millwood play as if they valued their careers and wanted to win. Otherwise, there was little hope, as most guys looked as if they wanted their fucking beauty sleep and not a goddamn win. Scott Moore doesn’t belong in the organization, as he flails at nearly every pitch and was miserable on defense. Markakis ran himself off the wall, and into a pointless out at second, at which I yelled obscenities to the shock of the fucking awful Toronto fans who don’t deserve a motivated group of overachievers. He had BETTER have been sent.

The top of the ninth was the biggest load of shit I have ever seen. Miggy, Scott, and Wieters looked at strikes and swung at every pitch in the dirt, apparently wanting to get out as quickly as possible. Miggy is hardly serviceable, Scott deserves benefit of the doubt and was otherwise solid, by my user name has taken on a figurative meaning: “WHERE THE FUCK IS MATT WIETERS?” Obviously, I can understand that he’s not Jesus, but he looks overmatched by mediocre pitching. He’s going down with the ship, his swing drew laughter from the tame crowd, and at this stage, I don’t see a ton of success in his future. Sure, let the dogs out on me for this, but he needs to get his act together. I mean, look at his counterpart John Buck, who has been stronger in nearly every hitting category.

Diamond Dave has completely lost control of the team. He will surely be gone within a couple of weeks, because every ray of light is growing dimmer by the second. The reality hit me like a ton of bricks, but I’ve never been so embarrassed as I have tonight. I fucking can’t stand teams mailing it in, and that was a travesty. Fuck it, I am pissed.

Which team will win the AL East?
Rays
44%
Yankees
34%
Red Sox
10%
Blue Jays
6%
Orioles
3%

Look, Sheen can start, but is also super strong out of the bullpen, with batters only hitting .121 against him. And he’s especially tough on lefties. Chelsie Ross is a true grizzled veteran starter who can gut out innings against tough lineups (and show the youngsters some “tricks.”) Bernsen gets us a disciplined lefty bat and solid hot corner D, an energetic locker room personality, and can back up the middle infield positions should the injury aphid continue to breed (they are born hermaphrodites!!) Snipes has upside in the leadoff spot, and if he can put the ball in play and get on first, don’t blink…because you’ll miss his magic trick. Haysbert is a power bat that will strike out a bunch, but he’ll do so like a Zulu Warrior.and poor man’s ManRam, and I’m sorry Weiters, I’m in favor of having you sit for Berenger. You may have more talent, but the man’s gonna give you an education on being an American with cajones. And please, Gammon to replace Trembley tout suite goddammit!!