The Orioles are traveling to New York to open up a three-game series with the Yankees today. With the series opener being an afternoon game for Labor Day, this is a rare weekday series with two afternoon games scheduled. We can be fairly sure that because it's a federal holiday, this game will feature one of the most obnoxious renditions of God Bless America ever unleashed upon the hearing of human beings with good taste.
Now, being as we're dealing with New Yankee Stadium, the Yankees in general and particularly Yankee fans, we should not expect good taste. Whenever I hear about the new stadium up there, what strikes me is what is plain in the picture at this link, which I would have as the picture on this post except I don't want SBNation having to pay money to anyone since I don't own the picture. Do me a favor and click on it, though, so that I know you have a visual component to the tirade I am about to uncork.
The thing that stands out the most there is the YANKEE STADIUM up in the back there - which I've always felt they had to include because of the large number of ridiculous corporate ads clogging every inch of real estate in the stadium. If not for that reminder, Yankee fans might think they were in a minor league stadium instead. It's a soulless, corporate experience that is, and ought to be, offensive to anyone grounded in a non-demonic realm.
From that foul miasma comes forth the lowest of the low, the pinstriped pricks who left behind all shame when they donned that uniform and signed their lives away to that mercenary code. Which is to say nothing of their fans, a roach-like infestation of the worst that humanity has to offer to existence - a group of people that, when taken in sum, constitute a damning indictment against the potential for human goodness, especially those entitled meatheads who think they're something special with their total payroll of $206 million, who spend their time worshipping at the altar of the Captain, who, as of this writing, is being paid $22.6 million for a .264/.331/.372 slash line. As that eminent sage Joe Posnanski noted, this is a lower OPS than Yuniesky Betancourt. That this great behemoth ever even loses a single game is remarkable, and truly speaks to the inherent suckiness of all things associated with the so-called storied franchise.
Yet there they are, at the epicenter of the culture of conspicuous consumption, where some among their number pay in the thousands of dollars per game to sit behind home plate, walled off from the proletariat where they can sit and talk on their cell phones and wave at the people who are watching them sit behind home plate. In their arrogance, and ignorance, they believe their joy has meaning, and they believe their success sets them above the common fan. When this great beast is sated, the entire sporting world is diminished. Their tears are mana from the baseball gods. And for the next three games, your Baltimore Orioles have the chance to bring that pain. Know that all who believe in what is good, right and just are behind us. Down, down-forward, forward, punch. hadOOOOOOOOOOken!
09/06/10 1:05 PM EDT
|Baltimore Orioles||New York Yankees|
|Brian Roberts - 2B||Derek Jeter - SS|
|Felix Pie - LF||Nick Swisher - RF|
|Nick Markakis - RF||Mark Teixeira - 1B|
|Luke Scott - DH||Alex Rodriguez - 3B|
|Matt Wieters - C||Robinson Cano - 2B|
|Ty Wigginton - 1B||Marcus Thames - LF|
|Corey Patterson - CF||Jorge Posada - DH|
|Cesar Izturis - SS||Francisco Cervelli - C|
|Josh Bell - 3B||Brett Gardner - CF|