Yerkees 13 Orioles 2: Nipped at the buzzer -- again!

by Titov on May 19, 2011 11:42 PM EDT

There are some important things to take away from this game, starting with your good humor, your sanity and the ability to keep your hands away from sharp objects and, while contemplating your television, large blunt instruments.

Yes, Bergurglarson [sp.?] had a difficult evening. The silver lining, of course, was that this difficulty paved the way for a rare occasion indeed: we got to see the major leagues' finest Lithuanian reliever, Jack You, Bustas! AND the mysterious Troy Patton -- you may remember him as Troy Ponson in "DWI Laws Are for Suckers!" -- in the SAME GAME! Now THAT'll be something to tell the grandkids about, trust me!

Finally, and when you least expected it, the O's stormed back in the bottom of the 9th! True, the two Albert Belle Memorial Useless Runs were one less than Albert liked to knock in deep into long-since-decided games, but still, it was the thought that counted.

And if all that wasn't exciting enough,we can now contemplate a suckfest of a series against the bottom-feeding, mouth-breathing Warshington Gonats, whose series sweep against us at OPACY not long ago remains one of the most painful childhood memories of several CC-related offspring. Plus, if he gets out by late afternoon, we'll be joined watching the game by Dominique Strauss-Kahn, whose extraordinary bail provisions stipulate mandatory pre-trial Orioles viewing...strapped into a dentist's chair before a Home-Theater screen. Think Kubrick's version of "A Clockwork Orange." OK-- smile, folks, and

Go O's!

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I agree that Dominque Strauss-Kahn should be afforded the same presumption of innocence as any other Barry Bonds, but...

What? He has? Is he going to do time? Jeez, I really lost track of that story. Good thing the Pretend Commissioner has cleared the air on this ugly mess, so now we can go ahead and…

What? He hasn’t? Wait, why is he Pretend Commissioner again?

"Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning." Churchill,1942-- a rebuilding year.

by Titov on May 20, 2011 12:10 AM EDT reply actions

Whoops, almost forgot the Other Other News: For those who have expressed sympathy to us hydrofrackees...

…it is appreciated. And so is the PA DEP’s first small-but-significant step against these slash-drill-and-run gangsters, who are still safe from the standard water-quality regulation statutes required of all other industries thanks to their Dick Cheney-Mandated No-Environmental-Oversight Status ©. All you can do is go after them, timidly, AFTER you successfully prove that the methane (or barium or other carcinogen-of-the-month) in your water supply got there not because of YOUR carelessness as, y’know, cavalier water drinkers, but because an industry unconcerned about consequences pumped these chemicals in enormous quantities into the land around yours.

The following squib story on Wed. was shortened, presumably for wire-service spacing reasons, to elide one phrase: “…for contaminating private water supplies with methane in Bradford County” should have read, in its entirety, “…for contaminating private water supplies with methane in Bradford County, home of the Ancestral Titov Family Estate on the Banks of the Mighty Susquehanna.”

May 18, 2011
Pennsylvania: Gas Driller Fined
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

Chesapeake Energy, one of the most active companies in Pennsylvania’s natural gas drilling boom, has been fined more than $1 million by the state, including a $900,000 penalty for contaminating private water supplies with methane in Bradford County. Officials called it the single largest state fine ever for an oil or gas operator in the state. Pennsylvania’s Department of Environmental Protection said Tuesday that it had also fined Chesapeake $188,000 for a tank fire in February in Washington County. Drillers’ use of chemicals and high-volume hydraulic fracturing has stirred wide fears of river and groundwater pollution.

"Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning." Churchill,1942-- a rebuilding year.

by Titov on May 20, 2011 12:49 AM EDT reply actions