OT: Titov's PAC 12 Pick 'em: Week 2

San Diego State (-9 1/2) @ Army. I like the ’tecs here, after they clubbed the sh#t outta C-Poly and Army stunk up the place at N. IL. Army does a wishful wishbone, hoping to run strong w/o strong runners. Unless jet lag does a number on Dago, they should light the place up and pull away by 15-20 here.

them being +1 vs. TCU.

Up 30-16 in the 4th, the Scum Devils decided Welp, guess THAT showed ‘em— and retired to watch the game’s waning moments from a collective easy chair while basking in the glory of their non-upset upset victory. I’m almost sorry they didn’t lose.

To be fair, Franklin is really good (this was his 2nd game!) and Miz played hard The Whole Game…unlike some other teams, incl. their hosts, in a conf we won’t mention. But in the end Osweiler (24-32—> 353/3/0 and 5/31/1) makes a very strong case for 4th best qb in the conf— which sounds like a knock, but is far from it; think who’s ahead) and de Debbils have a lot of good athletes — as well as psycho Burfict, and All American felon-in-the-making whose utterly pointless away-from-the-ball unsportsmanlike set up a 1st half score for UM. Think he cares? Think he noticed?

And in general, why do the Desert Two specialize in stoopid penalties — to the point where even the required-to-be-vanilla network announcers call them that (or worse) — and have such a hard time, even at home, putting away teams they have well in hand? Got me.

A wire story headlines “ASU makes a statement”— ri-i-i-ight. Well, if the statement is We still don’t know why we can’t play entire games or why we lead the galaxy in pointless penalties. THAT statement is probably true.

Anyway, congrats on not losing— and thx for 0-2-ing me, douchebags. If you play these guys again in Dec., esp. if they have their best RBs again, you’ll need to do a lot better job.

guess not

Thurs:

Zona @ #9 Okie State (-13 ½): Zona to beat the spread [see Thurs. Bird Droppings].

OK St 37-14. It wasn’t Foles’s fault AU didn’t beat — which they were primed to do at 27-14 – but his 37/51→ 398/1/0 isn’t gonna cut it when you team rush for 39. I’m beginning to doubt Stoops has much future: that’s 5 L in a row, and this was a grudge match w/ months of prep time—and Zona looked lost for a half, then hit-‘n’-miss.

Fri:

No. 21 Mizzou @ ASU (-9 ½): Why are the Scum Devils such a heavy fave over a ranked team? Er, b/c they have somebody actually named Vontaze Burfict, a DEF stalwart (LB) who eats nails for bkfst or sth and will lead the "hard-hitting Sun Devils on what’s expected to be a steamy Friday night in the desert." Yeah, desert warfare is tricky, as the whole conf knows; and Osweiler is pretty good; and Mizzou is often a chimera of a ranked team. But they have some large, chunky-style guys who will make life difficult for a half. I will go w/ the Debbils to cover this in the 2nd, but I’m not too happy about it.

MIZ 37-14. [see comments above]

Sat:

OSU @ #8 Wisc (-20): Welp, the Punkin Eaters are "coming off a head-scratching loss, unsettled at quarterback and might be missing [their] new star running back," so they’re pretty screwed playing in Madison. That said, these same Big 10 apes beat ASU there last yr on a missed PAT, and it’s a good trap game opp for them. I’ll take OSU to cover please, Alex.

WI 35-0. "Just bad football," Oregon State coach Mike Riley said. Really? He was talking about one particular bonehead play, but c’mon, Mike. Your horses are pretty good. Your coaching is not. (Where’s Katz, btw?)

NEV @ #13 Orygun (-26 ½): Nev sans Kaepernick just ain’t gonna be the same – not even close. This game won’t be either. Look for a smarting, pissed-off OU to run up 40-50 or sth while the Wolfs struggle into double figs—maybe. Bet this big.

OU 69-20. Played to form. Yeah, they were pissed.

Cal (-6 ½) @ Colo: Cal looked (potentially) good beating Fresno, and CO looked (potentially) crappy getting kicked around by Hawaii—and this game will tell us a (potential) lot about those conditional judgments. I really wish this were a Cal home game or the spread were, like, 3, but hell: take ‘em at 6 ½ on the basics: better athletes & coaching.

Cal 36-33 (OT). See why a 3-spread made sense? Anyway, so much for the Bizarro Futility Bowl: These are unimpressive teams looking "thrilling" against each other. Cal gives up 582 yds and…wins.

No. 6 Snodfart (-21) @ Doook: As an AP guy put it, the toughest obstacle Stanford faces in this one is jetlag. Luck is still regionally irked by that ’09 robbery @ Wake and plans to take it out on DU, which as a football team – not to put too fine a point on it – sucks dead elephant. Bet this one big, too.

STA 44-14. Played to form. Luck got burned once, but 20/28 for 290/4/1 was about right. LSJU didn’t look sharp at all in the 1st half, but Doook should stick to bassaball.

HA @ U Dub (-6): Toughest call o’ the wk. The Dogs snuck by E-Wash last Sat., and Sarkisian was pissed. He may be able to fire ‘em up – and he better, ‘cause Moniz can really throw ‘em and U Dub proved it sucks against a good spread OFF, at least so far. I’m gonna say Dub wins this in Seattle, but not by 6. Could be a pretty good shootin’ match.

Dub 40-32. Well, it was a good shootin’ match – and maybe a career game for Price. Three missed PATs beat me on this. When I stop smashing my ahead against the wall, I’ll let ya know.

UNLV @ Wazoo (-14): What was the last time WSU was a 14-fave?!? The late Pleistocene Era, I’m guessing, with Ryan Leaf throwin’ em. But hey, Vegas sucks preternaturally, and Tuel’s replacement did well last wk. So yeah, let’s go up the Wazoo again, maybe they’ll Not Hurt Me twice in a row!

WSU 59-7. Holy crap. Jeff Who? Looks like Tuel can take his time healing, cuz Lobbestael’s line is a whomping 24/32 → 361/ 5/0. Remember when I was pooh-poohing the "much improved" thing? Joke, that was just a JOKE.

Utah @ SC (-8 ½): This could be a good game. UT was pretty decent in Salt Lake against a fairly well-stocked Mont St, while SC played only the first half last wk against MN. If Kiffin convinces people other than Barkley and Woods to join the fun – and play the whole game – SC will win this going away. Which is how I’m betting it.

SC 23-14. Not a strong showing – again – by the Rubbers. Barkley has all the tools, but didn’t move the team in the 4th – again. They covered (in the end!) but Kiffin is making it hard to be a believer.

San Jose @ UCLA (-21): Faulkner’s 4 fumbles in PA last wk actually sort of disguised how bad the rest of SJS is, which is why this not-great UCLA bunch is -21 here. “We can be a lot better and be a lot better quickly,” sez Neuheisel, and I believe him. Houston is an OK team, and San Jose isn’t, so the 21 works for me here. Bet it.

UCLA 27-17. And they were tied in the 4th. To say that UCLA "survived a lackluster performance" is almost funny. In its last 30 games SJS is 3-27. Not encouraging for Westwood – or Coach Rick.

San Diego St. (-9 1/2) @ Army: [see above]

Dago 23-20. Coulda covered with ease but they didn’t. Key-ripes, massive jet lag or what?!?

Calm, calm: deeeep breaths. Think of next week

I know— who cares, right? But for people who buy the whole SEC mythology, this is doubtless a hot contest. I don’t follow this region closely (or bet it, of course), but in my blessed ignorance I’d be looking for MSU to break out here…to the pt. of beating that 4, anyway.