FanPost

The Official Mark Reynolds Apology Guide

"Tough play with that backwards spin, and it hugs the ground all the way to Reynolds."

-Jim Hunter, 04/07/12

In other words, it was a ground ball. And Mark Reynolds maimed it.

Yes friends, through two starts this year it looks as though Mark Reynolds is right back into his very own mid-season form at the Hot Corner. That call came after his only official error this season, on a fairly routine ground ball that Reynolds got a late break on, tried to backhand, and muffed. But anyone who has been watching knows that he's one Chris Davis acrobatic move away from averaging one per start thus far, not to mention the multiple shaky transitions and throws.

To say we've become accustomed to Orioles announcers saying stupid things over the years is an understatement. Still, the pearl of wisdom above from Jim Hunter nearly made me spit out my alcoholic beverage (which I was drinking... responsibly). I've gotta cut the announcers some slack though. It must be difficult to come up with a flattering way to describe every Oriole misstep on the fly. That's why we're going to help them out, with the official Mark Reynolds Apology Guide.

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via www.fangraphs.com and our very own Gamecock24

It's simple, just fill in the blanks below Mad Libs-style (if you don't know what Mad Libs are, call your parents and tell them they did a horrible job raising you, then go here).

I'll get you started on one:

"____(Person)____ was ____(action)____ just as the ball was hit. You can't blame Reynolds for being distracted.

"Robert Andino was teaching J.J. Hardy how to Dougie just as the ball was hit. You can't blame Reynolds for being distracted."

Now you try one in the Comments section.

"Looks like he lost it in the light coming from that _____(source)_______ in the _____(location)_____. Any Major League player is going to have trouble dealing with that "

"You know ______ (O's Broadcaster) _______, I was on the field before the game and the grass felt a little ____ (more/less)______ _____(adjective)____ than usual."

"As Reynolds was ____("-ing" verb)____ ____(direction)____, the ball hit a ____(noun)____ in the field, causing it to change direction.

"The ____(weather event)____ that rolled through Baltimore last night has caused the dirt near third base to become ____(adverb)____ ____(adjective)____."

"Reynolds is probably just tired from ____("-ing verb")____ ____(game/event)____ at the ____(name of charity)____ event this morning before the game."

"Mark had me over to his ____(type of dwelling)____ before the game and cooked his famous ____(food)____ for lunch. He probably still has some ____(food/cooking material)____ residue on his hands, causing that errant throw."

Or feel free to create your own, that other people can reply to.

FanPosts are user-created content and do not necessarily reflect the views of the editors of Camden Chat or SB Nation. They might, though.

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