The voice of Dan Duquette metaphorically booms over the Camden Yards public address system, camera searching through the crowd. "Josh Stinson, come on down! You're the next contestant on the 2013 Orioles!" The theme song plays, Josh makes his way down to the bench, and the game goes on. It is entirely possible that Duquette bid one dollar for Stinson.
Be aware that all of the obvious jokes connecting Stinson to Barney Stinson on How I Met Your Mother have been made. If you want to be original, work a little harder.
April 24 feels like it ought to be a little early for the appearance of a guy like Stinson in the rotation, but that's the way it goes when a doubleheader tosses the rotation into a bit of chaos. Jake Arrieta made the process convenient, in some ways, by earning the demotion to Norfolk to make a roster space (Alex Burnett took the roster spot for two days, but who cares), but I have a feeling that even if Stinson throws a no-hitter, he's not long for the roster. OK, maybe if he throws a no-hitter, they'll keep him. He won't throw a no-hitter.
The day game after a night game lineup is in full effect, which really just means Taylor Teagarden is the catcher, because all of these other guys who are scuffling at the plate are in there every day. J.J. Hardy, Nolan Reimold, Ryan Flaherty, I'm looking at all of you. I'm doing that thing where I point two fingers at my own eyes and then point them at you. That's how much I'm looking at you.
These assorted clowns, in addition to the legitimate major league hitting portions of the lineup, will square off in this businessman's special against Brandon Morrow of the Blue Jays. Morrow currently resides in what was before two nights ago the Chris Tillman realm of early-season pitching struggles, with the following slash line for batters against him over four starts: .333/.378/.578. That's 30 hits in only 21 innings, with four home runs surrendered. 2013 hitters against Morrow are essentially 2013 Adam Jones, which is a little unfortunate for Morrow and for Blue Jays fans.
The team enters the game already having secured the series win, going for the sweep, but again: Stinson. On the other hand, Morrow. On the OTHER hand, Stinson. Maybe being an unknown quantity will help Stinson today.
This is the part where I ignore my own advice about not making the same How I Met Your Mother jokes as everyone else. The temptation is too great, because the time has arrived for Stinson to suit up and be legen...
Wait for it...
|BALTIMORE ORIOLES||TORONTO BLUE JAYS|
|Nate McLouth - LF||Rajai Davis - LF|
|Manny Machado - 3B||Emilio Bonifacio - 2B|
|Nick Markakis - RF||Jose Bautista - RF|
|Adam Jones - CF||Edwin Encarnacion - 1B|
|Chris Davis - 1B||Melky Cabrera - DH|
|J.J. Hardy - SS||J.P. Arencibia - C|
|Nolan Reimold - DH||Colby Rasmus - CF|
|Ryan Flaherty - 2B||Brett Lawrie - 3B|
|Taylor Teagarden - C||Maicer Izturis - SS|