NEW YORK -- New York Yankees Managing General Partner Hal Steinbrenner and General Partner Henry G. Steinbrenner met this afternoon in an emergency meeting to discuss what could become a virulent problem: the players cannot find parking to get to the clubhouse.
The 2013 season for the team has provided injury upon injury, and players have clogged the handicapped parking located near the main entrances of the stadium. Management has hoped to install more handicapped parking, but resources are limited.
"Personally, I find it disgraceful," said recent-DL member Joba Chamberlain, strained oblique. "How am I supposed to get in the sauna when I can't park by the door? Hope they don't expect me to walk all the way from 153 Street, because I haven't walked that far in decades."
Steinbrenner et all have allegedly sought the expertise of local geriatric centers, and even brought on health care advisors to consult on their logistical parking lock-down, a source close to the issue said.
For some players, it might be too little too late.
"You've got to be [expletive] kidding me," said Mark Teixeira, wrist. "Some of these people I've never even met, but their cars are here every day, in my spot. I mean, Alex [Rodriguez] always parked in the handicapped spots, even when healthy, but he's [expletive] ARod. Who the [expletive] is Cesar Cabral?"
Rodriguez had little to say on the matter.
When contacted by email, the fragile third-baseman responded, "No fatties allowed. Tits or GTFO."
Clubhouse veteran Andy Pettitte has emerged as possibly the only mediator between a furious team and what seems like a complacent and disconnected front office.
"I have connections with Hoveround, and have hooked up a lot of our guys for a quick fix," said the 18-year veteran.
Public opinion has been mixed regarding the situation, which has left handicapped fans with virtually no access to the stadium. As members of the active 25-man roster continue to clog the handicapped spots at an increasing rate, a breaking point is inevitable.
"Yeah I don't think the fans will care," said Francisco Cervelli, broken hand. "I mean, we're the Yankees, and who are they? We just call them 'plainies.'"
More details are sure to surface as the situation plays out.