The preeminent sportsblog Camdenchat announced today that it will be hiring new writers for the 2014 season. New hires will be tasked with everything from the menial daily lineup to sabermetric analysis of the BABIP of backup middle infielders in the 7th inning of weekend night games. Ha! My lame joke reminds me of the crap statistics MASN used to generate during the lost years to put an Oriole at the top of any list. Digression and linear regression aside, the opportunity is open to all those who dare to brave the post-apocolyptic deathscape that is the Internet sans the cloak of anonymity. With the NSA privy to all, omniscient and ever-present, it is unlikely that anyone will apply.
Before the news broke, everything seemed Tuesday-ish and normal. People were at work and stuff was happening. Other people were at school ignoring things. Then the news broke, and people continued to work and students generally ignored the news that was being used to ignore those aforementioned things. It’s the middle of February; who is paying any attention to the baseball blogosphere? Dedicated fans and aspiring writers: that’s who.
The only people who seemed to care—those stalwart commenters of February posts—broke out in their usual mindless, chaotic yet seemingly-choreographed banter. "Dental Plan!" they ironically demanded from toothless mouths. Other ne’er-do-wells made excuses about inconsequential things like "jobs" or "kids." This reporter informed himself that, despite his job and kid and to spite his wife, he would be interested in applying.
After this self-revelation, this reporter asked himself if writing about the sport that he spends on average 500 hours (that’s roughly 21 days) per year watching is a productive, wise-thing to do. Despite answering in the negative, this reporter reaffirmed his dedication to quality sports journalism by willingly making the unintelligent, nonproductive decision.
Regardless of his zeal, it is evident that the position will be given to someone else. Ken Rosenthal tweeted earlier today that the organization is more focused on bringing in a free agent that will add a veteran presence to the top of the droppings order (Disclaimer-KRose said no such thing). Furthermore, writing a fanpost about a post soliciting fanposts is absurd, circular, and trite. Firstly, it showcases very little creativity. Secondly, no knowledge of the Orioles organization nor baseball in general is conveyed. Thirdly, it is completely self-serving rather than being focused to the blog’s target audience. Rookie mistakes.
All those negatives having been said, check out that Googleable title. This guy is going places.