FanPost

O's poetry

ICYMI, a bit of poetry regarding Saturday's game:

Ubaldo is bad, never good.
Never throws strikes, like he should.
Always tries to nibble at the plate
Lots of runs is always his fate.

Ubaldo is bad, he’s the worst.
For four years, we all are cursed
To see him waste pitches left and right
Or to watch his pitches get hit out of sight

Ubaldo is bad, can’t you see?
When he pitches I break my TV
Watching him pitch is no fun
Ubaldo’s best pitch is a 500-foot home run

Ubaldo is bad, just plain awful
The way he pitches shouldn’t be lawful
I don’t know why in him Buck confides
He should be pitching for the Tides

Ubaldo is bad, ever boring
When he pitches I’m found snoring
I only wish the ’pen is his place
Before he costs us this pennant race

Ubaldo is bad, all glory told
He advances my process of getting old
He was brought in the be an ace
I want to blast him to outer space

Ubaldo is bad, there’s no doubt
When he pitches I want to shout
"GET OUT OF HERE YOU LOUSY BUM!
YOUR PITCHING APPROACH IS STUPID AND DUMB!"

Ubaldo is bad, but of course
Ubaldo pitches like a horse
Always throwing pitches to cream
Never seeing him pitch is my dream

And now, the counter-argument...


The O's are great, oh so good!
Winning games like you knew they would
This is a team we love to cheer
And filling opponents hearts with fear

The O's are great, simply the best
The argument should be put to rest
Hitting lots of home runs with ease
Opposing pitchers wish they had a disease

The O's are great, no one better
To these guys I am a debtor
For making game nights loads of fun
As they make this pennant run

The O's are great, what a team!
Making all of birdland dream
Of the things that are to come
Picking against them is just dumb

The O's are great, playing good ball
Against other teams they stand tall
Making mince meat of all they face
Blasting off into first place

The O's are great, they've got skills
Getting hits from Steves, Calebs and Jemiles
They've got the best defense in the land
Their style of play is nothing but bland

The O's are great, got that, Billy?
Making opponents all look silly
After the game has been recapped
All their foreheads have been slapped

The O's are great, tip your cap
After withstanding so much crap
There is not one thing they lack
Baseball's best team wears orange and black

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