We don't play this game on paper!

Shut it, Squinty. You give hating the Yankees a bad name.

This is sort of a "random thoughts" idea, although I really don't like how "random thoughts" sounds. I don't like the word "random." It gets used too much. That, in itself, is a random thought. Or, really, I guess it's pretty on-topic.

...

1. Who was that umpire with the hemp necklace? Way to rock your fashion within the confines of your outfit, dude. Let's go see some Daaaaave.
2. On the topic of attire, Gary Thorne about made me pee last night. No man should ever wear so much beige at one time, and his complexion just isn't fit for it to begin with. As for his atrocious tie, let's just say that I hope it was given to him by a young relative for his birthday or something. I'm so catty!
3. Z got to even up Cabrera Bowl '08 with Danny's killer start. So many times I thought he was about to implode, but he manned up. Like a man. I hope Z kicks my ass at the game of Cabrera.
4. LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKE!
5. Luis Hernandez and Melvin Mora make some of the most God awful fielding mistakes you will ever see on the left side of our infield. Mora is turning into Derek Jeter, making a good amount of highlight reel plays and falling short on what should be the routine. But Mora also has the added boner factor of frequently wanting to throw the ball home when he should just go to second or first and not worry about the run. And then he makes his Melvin Face. You know the face. And Hernandez's arm is dubious.
6. Randor Bierd is just plain cool. You know what I mean?
7. Who would win in a fight: Brandon Fahey or Edwar Ramirez?
8. After all the talk about how Markakis is walking a lot and you don't want your 3-4-5 hitters to walk (despite that the plate discipline of Millar is really his greatest asset and it never ever ever ever ever ever hurts to get on base instead of making an out), it was refreshing to hear Jim Palmer say the following words: "He's going to walk a lot. And why not?" Jim, you have bested Buck. Markakis was 3-for-3 after walking in the first inning.
9. If you haven't noticed, ol' Brian Bob is in a 1-for-17 funk.
10. Yankee fans still talk about their lineup as being the best in baseball a lot of the time, apparently not noticing flaws like Jason Giambi now being exactly as good as the end of the line days of Jeremy Giambi, and only being able to score two runs against the Orioles, both off the bat of Chad Moeller. This is just picking at them while they're down, really. I'm aware that they're going to score their runs.
11. One extra. Even if he goes down as the greatest player to ever lace up a pair of cleats, Alex Rodriguez's ability and all the nice things he does for charity and things of that nature will probably not outlive how big of a tool he is. But I will root for him to break Bonds' home run record, regardless of his toolness. I was a big Bonds fan for a long, long time, and found him to be funny in many ways, but the dude got to be too much. Is baseball missing him or Roger Clemens right now?

Holla!

Daniel Cabrera is Birdland.

Game time is 7:05 on MASN2. And you KNOW that Papa Jim will be back in the MASN booth tonight. He wouldn't miss a chance to hobknob with the Yankees and wish he'd been one.

The Yankees teed off on Cabrera last season, as he went 1-3 with a 6.67 ERA and 1.81 WHIP in five starts. In his 27 innings against New York, he gave up 32 hits, walked 17 and struck out 18.

Hughes doesn't turn 22 until June. He had a solid first splash in the majors in 2007, but has been lit up early on in '08. But don't let his numbers fool you into thinking this guy can't dominate. He's really, really good.

Joe LaPointe at the NY Times has dropped a bombshell: attendance at Camden Yards is down? Losses are piling up in Baltimore! Check the records, skeech. (I know, I know. Reality. F the Yankees.)

LET'S. GO. O'S.

September 28, 2006.

A rather meaningless day in Orioles history, overall. Another crappy O's team folding their way into fourth place down the home stretch, playing at Yankee Stadium, about to get mopped up. Daniel Cabrera starting. ESPN televising the game because it's the Yankees, we're about to enter the playoffs, and hey, why not? No good bowling to show that night.

Nine innings. One hit. Two walks. Five strikeouts.

He's struck out double digits a few times. Never had Cabrera looked so good on the mound, so totally in control of his pitches. He never has since, either.

The game thread that night was pretty quiet. Most of us had given up on the team and were finding better things to do at 7:05 anyway. Another walk-filled Cabrera start seemed like a pass.

I remember I had the game on TV, but was hanging out with my then-roommate, bullshitting and drinking beer, trying to figure out something worthwhile to do with the night. We never came up with anything. Good thing, because Cabrera put on a hell of a show.

I didn't want to talk about it, didn't even want to talk about the game. I'm not big into jinxes and curses and all that other hogwash, in case you haven't noticed, but I do accept that you don't talk about a no-hitter in progress. Roch Kubatko did it the other day to Gavin Floyd against Detroit, and I wondered where he learned anything about baseball. What kind of a dork mentions a no-hitter? I don't even like it when ESPN says anything about it before switching to that game. Just say, "There's something pretty special going on at Yankee Stadium..." or the like. Jeez Louise, people.

Then-skipper Sam Perlozzo talked about Cabrera a few days later. He said, "He's got a real good note to go home and he should be a good pitcher for us. We keep saying that, but I think he's getting closer and closer and, hopefully, next year's the year."

I bought into it. "He's got a pretty good head on his shoulders," Perlozzo said. Yyyyup.

It's 2008, gang. We're still waiting for that "next year" where Cabrera "puts it all together" and becomes "a good pitcher for us."

A year and a half ago, Daniel Cabrera threw a one-hitter. It was awesome.

Tomorrow night, he starts for us as we kick off the 2008 edition of what was once a hell of a rivalry between our boys in orange and the New York Yankees. Go get 'em, Daniel.

Oh boy.