Um...Luke Scott got a hit. So did Guillermo Quiroz.

Bynum hit leadoff with Roberts out. Hernandez started at second instead of Cintron, so I guess Luis Luis is getting a second life. Cintron did play, though.

Burres didn't pitch so bad. Bannister was excellent.

We're off tomorrow. The Red Sox come to town Tuesday.

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Garrett Olson pitched well enough (5.1 IP, 3 ER, 1 BB, 2 K) and the bullpen held it down just enough for a Kevin Millar-led offense to hold off the Royals over nine rain-delayed innings, putting the O's back over .500 and continuing our utter domination of the hapless Kansas City Royals.

Millar had three hits, including a first-inning three-run homer. Luis Hernandez (who subbed for an injured Brian Roberts) was 2-for-4, and Melvin Mora had two hits, as well.

Let's all hope that Roberts isn't out for long, because we'd be glaringly lacking anything approaching a leadoff hitter, unless Diamond Dave put Markakis there instead of Freddie Bynum or something, which he would not.

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I've said this before, and I'll say it again, I'm sure. It's one thing to come into this season with low expectations, and knowing the team is going to compete for Worst Team in Baseball, and knowing how rocky and downright bad it's going to be, but it's another thing to actually sit and watch it happen.

The O's came out for 2008 with another surprisingly fast start, ending April in contention. We're a week into May, 16-16, and now we're in fourth place. And brothers and sisters, it's only going to get worse.

We're a half-game up on Toronto, and the Jays are riding a five-game win streak. It's only a matter of time before we get settled in the cellar.

I'm not being negative, I'm being realistic. Think about some of the guys starting for this team. Luis Hernandez and his .542 OPS, weak arm, and frequent boneheaded baserunning mistakes. Ramon Hernandez and his .581 OPS, detrimental alleged defense behind the plate, and frequent boneheaded baserunning mistakes. Luke Scott (.778 and nosediving) and Jay Payton (.642 and steady) are in a left field platoon.

Our starting first baseman is OPSing .672. Nick Markakis is in a massive slump right now. Our number three hitter is Melvin Mora -- .729 OPS.

This offense is offensive.

And it kind of makes you feel bad for a starting pitching crew that is performing a lot better than most would have expected. Jeremy Guthrie (4.06/1.24) is doing his thing again. Daniel Cabrera (4.06/1.35) seems to have found a balance between power pitching and trusting his stuff enough to let people try to hit it. Brian Burres (2.87/1.28) has been terrific. Garrett Olson (2.08/1.08) has been great in two starts since being called up. Steve Trachsel is a waste of time, so let's not even bother talking about him right now.

The bullpen has been a little inconsistent, but they've held their own for the most part. There's not much more you could ask of this pitching staff than what they've given us, to be totally fair.

And then there's the boneheaded baserunning and fielding and other assorted screwery. It's hard to watch a team make so many fundamental little mistakes that wind up costing them games. The A's had no business winning last night. They shouldn't have scored a run.

But then the Orioles shouldn't be making two outs on every hit-and-run they attempt and gloriously fail to execute. The Orioles shouldn't run into so many outs. But Dave has them running, despite their constant presentation of evidence that they don't know how to run the bases. Roberts is a fantastic baserunner. Markakis is a really good, savvy baserunner, last night's boner notwithstanding. But guys like Luis and Adam Jones, while they have speed, aren't good baserunners. It's one of the few times I'll go out of my way to praise Derek Jeter, but that guy is a magnificent baserunner. It's not just speed, and we all know that. Markakis isn't terribly fast, but, like Jeter, he has good instincts and rarely screws himself over.

And it's not just on the bases. It's in the field, too. Melvin Mora, God bless him, makes more idiotic mistakes than anyone I can think of. He also makes a lot of highlight reel plays. His tendency to look to get a glory out and wind up getting nobody out is a little high. Luis Hernandez? I can't really blame him. He's not really a Major League shortstop. He does not have the arm for the position.

I'm not mad about them being bad, and I'm not upset about it, and it doesn't depress me or anything. But it's hard to watch a team so bad on so many levels. They try hard, there's a lot of moxy, and there's plenty of grit. They've got some gamers. That's super.

They stink, though. We all knew they would.

(And Aubrey Huff has been fine.)

via www.baltimoresun.com

O's WIN 4-3!

I didn't watch the game, but here's a place to chat if you did. Notable:

• what slump? Nicky goes 2 for 4 with 2 runs and 2 RBI!
• Guts finally gets his first win since July 27 of last year
• Mora bunts home Luis Luis, so expect to see more bunting from Melmo. Mora is also caught stealing, so expect to see .... more stealing from Melmo.
• The Orioles lead the majors in one-run victories with a record of 8-2. 

You KNOW who's pitching today. I will try not to jinx him by naming him here. 

copyright Jonathan Daniel / Getty Images

The Orioles are keeping Jose Contreras relevant.

Like, come on, you guys. Seriously.

But I'll let Sox fans worry about the 71-year old Contreras. I'm not all that concerned with him.

What does concern me is the turd brigade that the Orioles are running out there at shortstop. Not a single one of these guys is even good enough to be a major league utility player. In the last three games, Luis Hernandez, Eider Torres and Brandon Fahey have all been given starts.

None of them are really shortstops to begin with. Hernandez and Fahey do not have the arm for it. It's been very apparent. Fahey makes rainbow throws a lot of the time, and Hernandez's just have no zip and often come in really low. If Kevin Millar wasn't actually a pretty damn good first baseman, we'd have seen a lot more errors on throws from Hernandez. Having your arm compared to David Eckstein's is no praise.

I'm not telling anyone anything they don't already know, and I'm aware of that. But this is a serious issue. Even on a rebuilding club, even when you're talking stopgaps, these guys are completely unqualified for major league jobs. I'm sure they're all super dudes and work their asses off and are doing the best they can. But that's part of the problem. They aren't any good.

And please don't ask me or anyone else to wait on judging Eider Torres. He's 25 and wasn't even a footnote anywhere in this year's Baseball Prospectus. His career minor league line is .280/.325/.350. He's not a major league player. We said the same thing about Hernandez, and everyone said, "Oh but wait, oh but wait." Are you done waiting? He's terrible. When a guy hits as weakly as Hernandez or Torres (who is a better hitter than Hernandez, to be fair) in the minor leagues, they cannot contribute to a major league team in any real way.

You get 25 roster spots on a club. Three of them are being wasted on Hernandez, Fahey and Torres. It's bad math.

If you're going to ask me if I think Alex Cintron is better than these guys, then I'll answer: Yes. He's not any good, and certainly isn't a viable starting shortstop, but yes, he's a lot better than these guys. He IS a stopgap player, and not a good one. A lot of this is why I thought we should try to sign Adam Everett, who is a legit Gold Glove shortstop even though he can't hit. If we're going to have a guy who can't hit, let's get a guy who can pick it. That's been done before.

Of course, Everett's on the DL right now, but I still believe he would've been an effective one-year signing. Then you see where you're at after 2008, and maybe you give him another year, or whatever.

But let's move past that, too. The shortstop situation is a black hole of suck, and that's not going to change any time soon.

What killed us today, really, was LET'S GET GREG AQUINO OFF OF THIS TEAM FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. HE'S HORRIBLE. HIS ERA IS 14.21. I'D RATHER SEE FAHEY COME IN TO PITCH. HE'S JIM BROWER, THE DOMINICAN VERSION.

Also, the 5-through-9 hitters went 0-for-19 with one walk. You can't win like that.

We remain in first place. Thanks, Rays.

We don't play this game on paper!

Shut it, Squinty. You give hating the Yankees a bad name.

This is sort of a "random thoughts" idea, although I really don't like how "random thoughts" sounds. I don't like the word "random." It gets used too much. That, in itself, is a random thought. Or, really, I guess it's pretty on-topic.

...

1. Who was that umpire with the hemp necklace? Way to rock your fashion within the confines of your outfit, dude. Let's go see some Daaaaave.
2. On the topic of attire, Gary Thorne about made me pee last night. No man should ever wear so much beige at one time, and his complexion just isn't fit for it to begin with. As for his atrocious tie, let's just say that I hope it was given to him by a young relative for his birthday or something. I'm so catty!
3. Z got to even up Cabrera Bowl '08 with Danny's killer start. So many times I thought he was about to implode, but he manned up. Like a man. I hope Z kicks my ass at the game of Cabrera.
4. LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKE!
5. Luis Hernandez and Melvin Mora make some of the most God awful fielding mistakes you will ever see on the left side of our infield. Mora is turning into Derek Jeter, making a good amount of highlight reel plays and falling short on what should be the routine. But Mora also has the added boner factor of frequently wanting to throw the ball home when he should just go to second or first and not worry about the run. And then he makes his Melvin Face. You know the face. And Hernandez's arm is dubious.
6. Randor Bierd is just plain cool. You know what I mean?
7. Who would win in a fight: Brandon Fahey or Edwar Ramirez?
8. After all the talk about how Markakis is walking a lot and you don't want your 3-4-5 hitters to walk (despite that the plate discipline of Millar is really his greatest asset and it never ever ever ever ever ever hurts to get on base instead of making an out), it was refreshing to hear Jim Palmer say the following words: "He's going to walk a lot. And why not?" Jim, you have bested Buck. Markakis was 3-for-3 after walking in the first inning.
9. If you haven't noticed, ol' Brian Bob is in a 1-for-17 funk.
10. Yankee fans still talk about their lineup as being the best in baseball a lot of the time, apparently not noticing flaws like Jason Giambi now being exactly as good as the end of the line days of Jeremy Giambi, and only being able to score two runs against the Orioles, both off the bat of Chad Moeller. This is just picking at them while they're down, really. I'm aware that they're going to score their runs.
11. One extra. Even if he goes down as the greatest player to ever lace up a pair of cleats, Alex Rodriguez's ability and all the nice things he does for charity and things of that nature will probably not outlive how big of a tool he is. But I will root for him to break Bonds' home run record, regardless of his toolness. I was a big Bonds fan for a long, long time, and found him to be funny in many ways, but the dude got to be too much. Is baseball missing him or Roger Clemens right now?

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OK, so it wasn't a homer. But Adam Jones' game-winning single off of Boob Logan in the bottom of the 10th inning will suffice. The O's are back in Birdland, if only for now.

Chicago went up 2-0, and the O's tied it at two in the bottom of the sixth. Leading off the seventh against Jeremy Guthrie, Carlos Quentin homered. Then Joe Crede homered. Goodnight, Guts, 4-2 Sox.

Quentin homered again in the eighth, making it 5-2 Chicago, but the Birds got one back in the bottom of the inning, then wailed on Big Fat Bobby Jenks in the ninth to tie it up.

Dave Trembley was faced with a dilemma. Payton had pinch-hit for Luis Luis, so Fahey was in. Then he decided to send Ramon up for Fahey in the ninth, which meant we were out of reserves and we had no shortstop.

Here's what I would've done: Mora at SS, Millar at 3B, Ramon at 1B.

Here's what Dave did: Huff at 3B (sacrificing the DH), Mora at SS.

The first way would've been more fun, but oh well. Despite Huff's best efforts to single-handedly lose this game (0-for-5 with three strikeouts), young Adam Jones singled home Kevin Millar in the tenth for the win. Booya! Game over.

George Sherrill got the win, and we're now 9-7.

HEY, YANKEES!

YOOOOOOOOU!

Once a year or so, it's good to update these. Players come and players go, much like the asinine nicknames that generally spring out of the game threads. So here's a quick primer for anyone who's new and might not know what in God's name we're talking about during certain points of a game.

Albers, Matt

• Fat Albers

This is not in any way intended to be mean. Honest. I know the dude's a little pudgy, maybe still carrying some baby fat, or maybe he's just like most of the rest of us and likes to reward himself for a fine day's work of breathing air and being a cool dude by wolfing down a Baconator or six. I'm not here to judge Matt Albers. It's just something that happened in my head and then I put it on a blog. Hey, hey, hey!

You gotta do it right though. Listen for yourself, if you're unfamiliar. It starts loud, so be prepared. That site is long faded as far as being funny goes, but whatever. RAN-DOOOOOR!

Bradford, Chad

• ChadBrad
• Chadwick
• Chadstache

Ain't found a way to kill me yet

Eyes burn with stingin' sweat

Seems every path leads me to nowhere

Wife and kids, household pet

Army green was no safe bet

The bullets scream to me from somewhere

Yeah, they come to snuff The Rooster

Yeah, here come The Rooster

You know he ain't gonna die

Walkin' tall, machine gun man

They spit on me in my homeland

Mora, Melvin 

• MelMo
• Melly Mel
• Melvin Moron
• Playoff Hero Melvin Mora

Did Babe Ruth ever slap at someone's glove while they tried to tag him? Did Mickey Mantle? Did Hank Aaron? Did Cal Ripken? Did Dane Iorg? Did Kiko Garcia? Seriously. He's a player to admire, but a total weiner.

That's why I prefer "Brian Bob."

Sarfate, Dennis

• Dennis the Menace

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Matt Albers got the job done in a spot start and George Sherrill picked up a shaky sixth save on the season as the Birds remained in first place with a 4-3 win over Toronto.

The O's are now 6-1 at Camden Yards this season, quite a turnaround from last year's dismal 35-46 home record. Trembley went bullpen crazy as usual, giving Jim Johnson two and a third before calling in Jamie Walker and Chad Bradford to get one out apiece. With a 4-1 lead, Sherrill came in to pitch the ninth and allowed a two-run, pinch-hit home run to Alex Rios, but he survived the brush with crap and got us out of there with one more in the win column.

Pretty good game at the plate, too. Kevin Millar was 2-for-4 with a homer and three RBIs, and Brian Roberts, Melvin Mora and Luke Scott all had two hits apiece. Adam Jones was 3-for-3 with a walk, and looked really good at the plate, even though his first hit was sort of an off-balance hack at a breaking ball. After that, he appeared to be dialed in. And this after Dave Trembley went around telling everyone he could find that he really thought about pulling the struggling Jones today.

I still wonder what purpose that serves. Is it motivation? Doesn't it seem like that would make the kid press even harder? And if he had pulled him, then why is he on the team anyway? He's here to learn on the Major League level.

The other O's RBI came from a Ramon Hernandez sac fly. He was 0-for-3 to push his average down to a sparkling .179.

With 13 hits, the O's should have scored more runs, which is a pretty familiar feeling. They grounded into three double plays and made two outs at the plate. The first was Luis Hernandez hesitating to run anywhere on a Nick Markakis chopper where he absolutely should have scored or at least not run at all, but them's the breaks. The second came in the eighth, when Juan Samuel sent Jay Payton on a medium-depth fly ball to left field with one out and Brian Roberts coming up with two men in scoring position.

Let's think about this. Payton runs fine, but he's not fast. Shannon Stewart can't throw, but he wasn't throwing very far. There is another out to go and the insurance run(s) would certainly help. So Samuel sends him?

You're on notice, Juan. You're Trebelhorn II.

But a win is a win is a win. I'm also worried about the fact that in eight wins, Sherrill has six saves. We're not exactly whomping on the competition, and close games can turn against you very fast. But a win is a win is a win. This is Birdland.

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We're 7-5. It's true. But let's really take a look at this 7-5 record of ours, and see if this is a team legitimately outperforming expectations, or a team just sort of, you know, 7-5 because that's just sort of how it is.

Coming into today's loss to the Rays, the O's were hitting .253/.331/.423 as a team. Who's performing?

Luke Scott is performing. Brian Roberts is performing. Nick Markakis is performing, even though it took him 12 games to get his first homer. Nick's walking like crazy because teams are willing to pitch around him to get to Millar in many cases.

And then there's Aubrey Huff, who has a couple of big games and has been abysmal otherwise. For those not really keeping an eye on it, "Mr. Clutch" is now hitting .244.

After those two, the hitting falls off a cliff. Luis Hernandez is "surprising" people, but really take a look at those numbers -- he's still sporting a sub-.650 OPS. Brandon Fahey is 1-for-11 on the season, and we all know he can't hit. So you're looking at a two-headed monster at shortstop that simply cannot hit enough to help. Alex Cintron is no prize, but he'd be markedly better than either of them.

Mora has hit a couple of homers, but overall he stinks, too. Millar has looked terrible. Ramon Hernandez is struggling mightily.

It's way too early to have anything at all to really say about the pitching, past the fact that this rotation is going to just kill us. It's one thing to understand that they're bad; it's another to watch it happen. Loewen and Cabrera and Burres are going to be extremely frustrating to watch game-to-game. The bullpen, a strong point early, is showing serious chinks in the armor. Sound familiar? Same scenario as last season, featuring "Lights Out" John Parrish.

We're 2-3 against Tampa Bay, 1-2 against Texas, and 4-0 against Seattle, whose bullpen imploded on them and allowed that sweep. Is this team really playing above expectations?

I have my doubts. And that's not me trying to be negative, it's just what I'm thinking about at the moment.

I am proud to say that Brian Roberts has more hops than Akinori Iwamura.