8:05 on FOX, y'all. Let's take this stupid, pointless day as a chance to talk a lot of B.S. about players that have no real bearing on our team. Rock and roll, hoochie koo.

	Today's Starting Pitchers	GS	IP	ERA	WHIP	BAA	HR	BB	K	W-L
	Ben Sheets - RH - Brewers	18	123.0	2.85	1.11	.235	13	28	108	10-3
	Cliff Lee - LH - Indians	18	124.2	2.31	1.03	.234	5	20	106	12-2

	National League	AB	AVG	OBP	HR	RBI
1	Hanley Ramirez - SS - Marlins	373	.311	.391	23	45
2	Chase Utley - 2B - Phillies	364	.291	.372	25	69
3	Lance Berkman - 1B - Astros	334	.347	.443	22	73
4	Albert Pujols - DH - Cardinals	286	.350	.466	18	50
5	Chipper Jones - 3B - Braves	298	.376	.472	18	51
6	Matt Holliday - RF - Rockies	309	.337	.421	14	51
7	Ryan Braun - LF - Brewers	377	.286	.324	23	66
8	Kosuke Fukudome - CF - Cubs	326	.279	.383	7	36
9	Geovany Soto - C - Cubs	316	.288	.369	16	56

	American League	AB	AVG	OBP	HR	RBI
1	Ichiro - RF - Mariners	391	.304	.366	3	21
2	Derek Jeter - SS - Yankees	352	.284	.345	5	42
3	Josh Hamilton - CF - Rangers	377	.310	.367	21	95
4	Alex Rodriguez - 3B - Yankees	279	.312	.392	19	53
5	Manny Ramirez - LF - Red Sox	328	.293	.389	18	60
6	Milton Bradley - DH - Rangers	269	.316	.440	19	57
7	Kevin Youkilis - 1B - Red Sox	328	.314	.381	15	63
8	Joe Mauer - C - Twins	301	.322	.418	5	41
9	Dustin Pedroia - 2B - Red Sox	395	.314	.357	9	47

Yep, four Rangers. What can you do? Bradley, Hamilton and Kinsler are killing the ball. I debated a few positions. I wasn't terribly comfortable voting Bradley as an OFer, but the way he's hitting, he's on my team somehow or another. He has played about 15 games in the outfield anyway. DH was hard, but ultimately I let favoritism win out and took Huff over Oritz, who is slightly better but has played less. Plus he's on the DL, so screw Papi. Plus DH is pretty weak.

First base was between Giambi and Youkilis, and it's a toss-up. Mauer was a no-brainer. Young isn't terribly good but he's the best of the bunch. Boy does Jeter stink.

You don't get to vote pitcher, obviously, but I'd take Cliff Lee for throwing about 30 more innings than Justin Duchscherer, who has been off his nut starting for the A's with a sub-2 ERA. Most of the AL's best pitchers have crap W-L records, but Lee is both legitimately great all of a sudden and 11-1.

The DH should be Pujols. Hard to leave him off, but Berkman is just a little better. The OF was weird to pick. Burrell, LUDWICK??, and Bay? Sure, why not. Volquez over Lincecum at SP for me, but that one's tough, too. McCann by a hair or two over Soto. Utley over Uggla was another tough pick.

No-brainers: butt-fugly Chipper Jones and Hanley Ramirez.

Who ya got?

Happy 27th birthday, Brian Burres.

Our fifth starter gave us a six strong innings today, pulled in the seventh after allowing a leadoff walk, throwing just 81 pitches and allowing one earned (an inherited runner that Matt Albers allowed to score) with three strikeouts and two walks.

Burres was really sharp today, including one ridiculous 74mph curveball that got a clutch bases loaded strikeout. He worked out of a couple of jams, pitched efficiently, and really, really looked good. I'd even say that this was the best an O's starter has looked this season.

This wasn't a come-from-behind win; this was just an ass-kicking. The Birds were up 4-0 after three innings. Scott Moore homered in his first at-bat of the day, a lazy fly ball that carried over the right field wall at The Ballpark, and Brian Roberts drove in Adam Jones in the same inning. In the fourth, Aubrey Huff scored on a two-run homer from Luuuuuuuke Scott, Scott's first jack as an Oriole.

Huff had a killer day, going 4-for-4 with 4 RBI, including a two-run double in the sixth that was originally called a three-run homer. Yellow lines can cram it. (It was a good call.)

Texas' lone run came in the bottom of the seventh, when Ian Kinsler singled off of Albers, bringing David Murphy home. Albers pitched two innings in relief of Burres, striking out four and walking no one, allowing two hits and no earned runs. He gave the ball to Greg Aquino, and even Aquino proved to be worthwhile today, striking out two of the three batters he faced.

Scott was 2-for-4 with a walk, Markakis 1-for-4 with a walk and two runs scored, Luis Luis was 1-for-2 with a walk.

Everything is breaking our way right now. Which is nice because there have been plenty of times in recent years, even with a bad team, where things have just broken way against us.

This team rules. 6-1, y'all!