Taking two out of three from a team that is expected, at season's end, to be 25-30 games better than the O's is quite OK by me. I just can't bring myself to get negative about today. The Yankees have five or six times the amount of pure talent and ability on their 25-man roster. It's going to happen.

If it continued to happen one out of every three times, we're probably going to the playoffs.

Steve Trachsel, following what will probably end up being one of his best starts of the season (one that resulted in a loss), summed it up best: "We took the series from them. We're happy with that."

Amen, brother. I firmly subscribe to the belief that you're going to win about 60 and lose about 60, and you have 40 or so games that define how good you really are.

One thing that does concern me is George Sherrill's second crappy outing in three appearances. I'm not big on early season ERAs for relievers (or for anyone in most cases), but he's up over six now. "Shutdown" Sherrill may be a mirage. Like, look:

1. Giambi (LH) strikes out
2. Cabrera (SH-R) walks
3. Moeller (RH) singles
4. Damon (LH) walks
5. Jeter (RH) plates everyone with a double
6. Abreu (LH) strikes out
7. Hey, go get Sarfate.

 via d.yimg.com 

NO.

Not a good day, tater. What a total debacle.

Trachsel: 2 1/3 IP, 5 H, 5 ER, 3 BB, 1 K
Aquino: 3 IP, 5 H, 4 ER, 3 BB, 1 K
Bierd: 2 2/3 IP, 2 H, 1 K
Sarfate: 1 IP, 4 H, 2 ER, 1 K

Sarfate's ERA is now juuuust under eight, at 7.94.

Luuuuuke and Markickass had two hits apiece. Markakis and Melvin Mora had solo homers.

The other run came from Adam Jones, who crushed his first Oriole home run, right down the left field line and barely fair. But man, he smoked it off of Jesse Carlson. First of many to come. It was his mom's birthday, his t-shirt night at the park (15,000 attendance! Great success!), and Jackie Robinson Day for MLB, with Jones wearing No. 42 for the O's.

Other than that, just horrible.

"Above anything else, I hate to lose."

-- Jackie Robinson, 1919-1972

Once a year or so, it's good to update these. Players come and players go, much like the asinine nicknames that generally spring out of the game threads. So here's a quick primer for anyone who's new and might not know what in God's name we're talking about during certain points of a game.

Albers, Matt

• Fat Albers

This is not in any way intended to be mean. Honest. I know the dude's a little pudgy, maybe still carrying some baby fat, or maybe he's just like most of the rest of us and likes to reward himself for a fine day's work of breathing air and being a cool dude by wolfing down a Baconator or six. I'm not here to judge Matt Albers. It's just something that happened in my head and then I put it on a blog. Hey, hey, hey!

You gotta do it right though. Listen for yourself, if you're unfamiliar. It starts loud, so be prepared. That site is long faded as far as being funny goes, but whatever. RAN-DOOOOOR!

Bradford, Chad

• ChadBrad
• Chadwick
• Chadstache

Ain't found a way to kill me yet

Eyes burn with stingin' sweat

Seems every path leads me to nowhere

Wife and kids, household pet

Army green was no safe bet

The bullets scream to me from somewhere

Yeah, they come to snuff The Rooster

Yeah, here come The Rooster

You know he ain't gonna die

Walkin' tall, machine gun man

They spit on me in my homeland

Mora, Melvin 

• MelMo
• Melly Mel
• Melvin Moron
• Playoff Hero Melvin Mora

Did Babe Ruth ever slap at someone's glove while they tried to tag him? Did Mickey Mantle? Did Hank Aaron? Did Cal Ripken? Did Dane Iorg? Did Kiko Garcia? Seriously. He's a player to admire, but a total weiner.

That's why I prefer "Brian Bob."

Sarfate, Dennis

• Dennis the Menace

I left at 5-5. What the hell happened!

Oh. The bullpen shat out. Because the starters can't go deep and Trembley's bullpen management is, shall we say, risque.

James/Jim Johnson is up and Scott Moore goes down. I get it, I guess. Fine. A thirteenth pitcher seems stupid for a spot start, but hey. Hey! Wait! BRANDON FAHEY is still on the team? Mother of God.

This is probably Birdland, guys. I still like this team. They have balls.

There went Baltimo'. Go, go, Godzilla!

We are now on the schneid. Minor league recap in the morning. Too many Old Styles and karaoke, and I need to sleep.

Glad blood-spittin', arm-flailin' Al Reyes could get out of the clink in time to help the Rays.

So I get bored sometimes, which leads me to think of music, the Orioles, and the combination of the two.

Since we've got a few hours until the double header at Texas, part of which I'll have to miss, I decided to kill some time by coming up with theme songs for all of the O's in their current states.

DISCLAIMER: Not all of these songs are safe for work or for your kids' ears. Play with discretion.

The team gets four songs on this playlist: "Orioles Magic," of course; Saliva's "Click Click Boom" because that is, somewhat sadly, what they come out onto the field with these days; "Thank God I'm a Country Boy," of course; and "Right Back to Where We Started From" by Maxine Nightingale. In addition to having some parallels to Major League, the team is also sort of Slap Shot-y, which is a natural since Major League is just a baseball version of Slap Shot in many ways. Whenever I think of improbable, goofy winning streaks for bad teams, I think of Maxine Nightingale and the Charlestown Chiefs bus.

Luis Hernandez kicks off the player set with the timeless "Theme From Greatest American Hero (Believe it or Not)" by the beloved Joey Scarbury. Believe it or not, he's starting at short. I never thought he would ever be-he-he. (It should've been somebody else.)

Up next is Luke Scott's at-bat music, "I Wanna Be Your Dog" by The Stooges. What Luke says goes right now. The man is slugging .800 and getting a hit every other at-bat.

We dip into the somewhat melancholy for Brian Roberts. The title of this Dylan track says it all: "You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go." Odds are, Brian's still going to get dealt this season. This is one of those guys who is definably our player. Remember when he was a slap-hitting little guy? Now he drives the ball with authority to the gaps, steals bags, has become one of the team's leaders, and man, THAT'S OUR BOY. This ain't free agent Tejada or too-frequently-hurt Bedard. This is Brian Roberts. OUR player.

Brenda Lee's "I'm Sorry" could only represent one man: Aubrey Huff. God bless the guy, he's trying really hard to do and say all the right things, including pounding the crap out of the ball. He has won a couple of games for us already, and went 4-for-4 the other night in Texas. He made a mistake. He's sorry. He's playing his ass off. He's part of the team. He's sorry. So sorry. Please accept. His apology.

Ain't no joke, whenever I think of Bocephus' "A Country Boy Can Survive," the first thing that pops into my mind is Jamie Walker. His entire career is proof that a country boy can survive, really. He throws slop, gets people out, and does his damn job, damn it. Jamie Walker rules just as hard as Hank, Jr. I think he might take that as a fine compliment, and I mean it as such.

Razor Ramon gets "I Feel Good" by James Brown. The only nice thing we've heard about Hernandez lately is he's in good shape. He's certainly not hitting. Maybe, like the song, Ramon will start kicking ass quickly.

Bruuuuuuuce! Melvin Mora's "Glory Days" may be behind him, but it's not all bad. He can still play a little bit, still can have a good time, still can remember hitting .340 or the wink of a young girl's eye.

Daniel Cabrera gets two songs. Good Daniel Cabrera gets the classic Maurice Williams & The Zodiacs hit "Stay," which is a song I frequently sing when I get bad drunk, because I remember being a kid, reading a Lewis Grizzard book, and he said he did that. It's just something that pops in my head. And yes, I was reading Lewis Grizzard books when I was a kid. I was a weird kid.

Bad Daniel Cabrera gets Ray Charles' "Hit the Road, Jack." Because seriously.

In the late 1980s, Public Enemy was awesome and I bet Jay Payton was a hell of a high school ballplayer. In the 1990s and beyond, Public Enemy had moments of greatness among their overall mediocrity and inconsistency, and that's pretty much Jay Payton as a pro player at his peak. Last year, Public Enemy released another album, and it had only one great song -- actually, it had only one good song, which also happened to be great. "Harder Than You Think" is the sound of a group that was phenomenal 20 years ago throwing all their eggs into one basket. Jay Payton also stinks now, but he's making the best of his chances so far this season.

Scott Moore is willing to play "Whenever, Wherever." That is also a song by Shakira. Also, it's lucky that Moore's breasts are small and humble, so we don't confuse them with mountains.

I didn't want to leave Frederick Keys catcher Matt Wieters out of the party, so he gets "Get Ready" by The Temptations, which was quite excellently sampled by Fergie, too. Sorry, Fergie's great. It's the law.

Another future star, Adam Jones, is already starting in Baltimore's center field, but man, "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet." Ha! I love this shit. I feel like Tom Verducci or Roch or Jeff Passan. But it's true. Jones might hack away a little in the earlygoing, but so did another current Orioles outfielder before he found his groove. I'm not worried about Dr. Jones.

Blue Öyster Cult's most awesome song is, in fact, "Godzilla," about the movie monster that has a habit of destroying cities and scaring the piss out of everyone in Japan. Greg Aquino thus far has a habit of scaring the piss out of me when he trots in from the bullpen.

This one isn't a real song, at least not in the traditional sense. But comedian Jon Lajoie struck gold with "Everyday Normal Guy," a hit on Funny or Die. Steve Trachsel is just a regular, everday, normal guy. If ya got a pet cat, put your hands up. (I'm not saying the things in this song are true of Steve Trachsel -- not all of them, anyway. He surely has more than $600 in the bank, for instance.)

Kevin Millar has always been really big on "Faith," plus he wore very George Michael-ish jeans when he threw out that controversial first pitch. Sometimes I hear the Limp Bizkit cover of "Faith" and hate it, and sometimes I see Red Sox Millar and hate him. But then I hear George sing the song, and it rules. And I watch Kevin be Kevin as an Oriole, and I forget all that B.S. and remember that I love the guy. Faith-a-faith-a-faith-ah! Baaaaaaa-beh!

New closer George Sherrill gets Semisonic's "Closing Time," which I admit is hardly creative. I don't believe in "guilty pleasures," because you either like something or you don't and you should own the fact either way, but this song would be a "guilty pleasure" for me if I did believe in the concept. I especially enjoy the "ba-chicka-chick-BOW BOW" guitar that is just so absolutely 1990s. We miss you, Everclear, but never come back.

Every time I think of Randor Bierd, I think of that story of him going out and buying a new suit to get on the plane before he even got official word that he'd made the team out of spring training. And every time I listen to Dean Martin, I want to put on a suit, myself, and have a Dewar's on the rocks or fifteen. So Randor gets "Ain't That a Kick in the Head," arguably the swinginest of all Dino's truly swingin' numbers.

Matt Albers and Brian Burres get to share a song, the Willie Nelson and Merle Haggard version of Townes Van Zandt's "Pancho & Lefty," one of my absolute favorite songs. Long story short, Lefty caps Pancho. He only did what he had to do.

I know Brandon Fahey really has no business in the Major Leagues, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't get kind of a happy feeling every time I see him in the field or on the bench, in his uniform that still looks too big for him and his NASCAR sunglasses. At the plate is a different story. I try not to focus on him batting. Brandon always looks so hopeful and happy in the field. "Here Comes the Sun" is for him.

Nick Markakis gets Dire Straits' "Walk of Life." Something about the song just makes me happy. I don't know what it is. It can turn a frown upside down. Make grey skies blue-ah. And oh yeah, the boy can play.

As hard as I tried, I couldn't think of anything too appropriate for Jeremy Guthrie, the staff ace. "Ace of Spades"? Too aggressive, doesn't fit his nature. Nelly's "Number One"? Too braggadocios. So he dedicates a song to Markakis.

Queen's "You're My Best Friend."

Guillermo Quiroz gets Wu-Tang Clan's "Wolves." That's just a good song. You think of a song for Guillermo Quiroz, genius.

Cracker's "Low" represents Adam Loewen, partly because that's part of his last name, and partly because that's where he should try to keep the damn ball, for the love of God. Cracker was a really good band lost in the shuffle thanks to bands like Seven Mary Three and Toadies. That has nothing to do with Adam Loewen.

I hate The Vines, but the manic and sloppy energy of "Outtathaway!" fits Dennis Sarfate's pitching style. He seems like a guy who would be uncomfortable to bat against with that mid-90s heat that comes in like a rocket, and the Vines are rather uncomfortable to listen to.

The skipper, Dave Trembley, gets his own tune, too. He's a native New Yorker. He's also an outsider in the managerial ranks, as he's the only manager in the bigs that never played pro ball. "Outsider" was a good Ramones song, but doesn't fit Diamond Dave's personality. Joey Ramone's cover of "What a Wonderful World" does, though -- Dave is genuinely optimistic all the time, always looking for the best thing to say. And he seems like he actually means it. He doesn't sugarcoat garbage like Perlozzo, Mazzilli and even Leo Mazzone used to. No stuff about "puttin' it all together" in a bullpen session. Just pure hope. He's just happy to be here, and doing his best.

Photo © Greg Flume / Getty Images

Pictured above is Eric O'Flaherty, Patron Saint of Blowing Games. In another nail-biter, the O's AGAIN came from behind to score a 5-4 win over Seattle, giving the Birds their first four-game sweep since 2004. O'Flaherty was inexplicably brought into the game in the bottom of the eighth and gave up a solo home run to an ice cold Aubrey Huff, which turned out to be the game winner.

Now, look, I'm going to be a realist for a second. This team can't keep winning games by coming from behind. It's not going to work.

Now that I'm done with that, THIS IS BIRDLAND, G!

Luis Luis came through with a 2-for-2 day at the plate and made some fine defensive plays behind our pitchers, who started off on the familiar rocky road thanks to Daniel Cabrera. Cabrera went six innings, which he should get some credit for after allowing two first inning solo home runs to Ichiro and Raul Ibanez, putting the O's in a hole right away. Over the six innings, Cabrera allowed four earned runs on five hits and four walks, with five strikeouts.

The difference between Cabrera now and the old Cabrera is he throws slower. It's probably on purpose, with him trying to control the ball better, but it does hurt his K-rate and does make him more hittable, which is going to give him a lot of really horrific outings, like it did last year. The best thing he had going for him was he was really hard to hit; you either struck out or walked, in most cases. Since his walk rates aren't falling any, that means he's letting MORE guys on base. Which is bad news.

But, again, now that I'm done with that, THIS IS BIRDLAND, SON!

Jamie Walker got a couple of outs today, and Dennis Sarfate picked up the win. I really like Dennis the Menace so far -- that guy's philosophy seems to be, "Hey, you. Hit THIS." His fastball is really nice, he's getting ahead in counts, and he's just doing a really good job. He's so good, in fact, that I think we could be looking at a top-notch setup guy or even a closer. Not that we need another closer right now, since George Sherrill is now 4-for-4 in save opportunities, as he got a 1-2-3 ninth inning on Betancourt, Ichiro and Lopez.

Carlos Silva was very Carlos Silva for the Mariners, going seven, allowing four earned on nine hits with no walks and five strikeouts.

For the O's, Brian Roberts went 3-for-4 with two RBI to salvage what had been a pretty bad series for him, and Melvin Mora hit a two-run homer in the third, capping a three-run inning where the Birds took their first lead of the game.

The Mariners tied it in the top of the fourth on an idiotic "defensive indifference" play by Cabrera. Let's not even get into it.

Five in a row. First place. Five in a row!

I'm getting some serious "first half of 2005" vibes about this team, but this is a team that's built in a way that it could get better as the season goes on. If they steal enough games early...who knows?

Jay Payton got to pinch run. Never complain about PT, Jay!

We're having some good fun to start this season. On to Arlington! Let's mess with Texas.

I do send one recommendation to M's fans, though: Be careful about hoping John McLaren gets the ax. You might get Sam Perlozzo.

A NINTH INNING COMEBACK

DOWN 2-0 INTO THE INNING

LUIS HERNANDEZ GAME WINNING TWO-OUT RBI

THE TYING RUN SCORED ON A WILD PITCH

I HAVE TO GO TO FAMILY DINNER

I'M GOING TO TAG ALL THE COOLEST ORIOLES FOR THIS POST

EVEN YOU, JAY PAYTON

I'M FREAKING RIGHT THE HELL OUT

ORIOLES MAGIC

LUIS IS BIRDLAND

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Roch Kubatko took out his trusty quill (or whatever he writes with) and gets some news out of the way so he can return to his normal litany of unfunny jokes.

Of note...

• Jay Gibbons, according to WNST's text alerts, has had his 15-day suspension placed on hold for 10 days. So he's eligible to go north for OD. Which means the O's have to make a decision sooner rather than later on whether he stays or goes.
• Brian Burres takes the 5th spot in the rotation. I can't help reading that and thinking of Dave Chappelle as Tron in front of Congress - "I take the Fif !"
• Daniel Cabrera takes the 2nd spot, a bit of a surprise, but who cares after the first trip through anyway.
• Matt Albers will get a chance to go north and start the year in the bullpen.
• The rest of the bullpen is George Sherrill, Jamie Walker, Chad Bradford, Greg Aquino, Dennis Sarfate and Randor Bierd.
• The O's don't set their roster until Sunday at 3 p.m.
• Rocky Cherry has been placed on the DL retro to March 22
• Diamond Dave Trembley has decided the O's Opening Day lineup should be guarded with the level of secrecy normally reserved for nuclear launch codes or Dick Cheney's vacation plans, and won't announce it until it's posted on OD.

If you want to read the rest of Roch's work, feel free to drive some traffic his way.

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