There are times when I'm just not sure what planet she's on.

How long has it been since the Orioles had a legitimate outfield?

2003, probably. Bigbie (117 OPS+), Matos (113) and Gibbons (106). Not great, mind you. But legitimate. All of them slugged in the .450s. Plus they had Surhoff (101) and, oh right, an injury-hampered Melvin Mora (143 -- and you knew who you were then!).

Probably hasn't been since the mid-90s.

Well...that is an interesting estimate. Remember, this is "legitimate," not necessarily "impactful" or "special." The 2000 O's had the ancient Belle/Brady/BJ trio, too. More sickly bees than killer. But they all OPS'd on or slightly above the league average, really -- 109, 106, 104.

But let's be kind, rewind, and say that maybe the 2003 and 2000 Orioles outfields didn't happen, although they did and they were all firmly competent. The 1999 Orioles had Albert Belle, Brady Anderson and BJ Surhoff, too. They were, how do you say, pretty f'n good. Belle was at 142, Brady at 128, Surhoff at 115. They were a damn sight better than either of the playoff outfields of '96 and '97.

Last night we learned the O's have one now. The defense was phenomenal as Nick Markakis gunned down Whitesox slugger Jim Thome at 3rd base in the 3rd inning from right field. Look for it on SportsCenter. Then in the 5th, Luke Scott threw a rocket home from left field---Orlando Cabrera was meat.

Scott's throw was one of the prettiest throws I've seen in my 5-seasons covering the Orioles. Honestly, when it happened, it was as if I'd seen Sasquatch.

I knew those type of throws probably existed, but I'd never seen one---not by an Oriole at least. Hopefully, my friends will believe me when I re-tell the story.

Here's where Amber always really starts to lose me. Whether it's the insane Easter chocolate bunny Jesus ramblings of a madwoman or equating a couple of throws with seeing Sasquatch, she never fails to deliver the delirious goods.

Let's also not ignore that she is basically saying here, "I know Sasquatch probably exists, but I've never seen him/her/it." Well if an Oriole outfielder can make an assist, it's just a matter of time before Amber does confront the famed "Big Foot," so I guess that's good for everyone.

Those two plays go much further than just last night. From here on out, forward scouts from ball clubs all over the league will write, "do not run on right or left fielders," when preparing their base runners to face the Orioles.

And here it goes with Amber's knowledge of the scouts again. Last time, it was any baseball scout telling you how realistic it was that Kevin Millar and Ramon Hernandez would hit 25 home runs this season, despite that Millar has done that once, half a decade ago, and is 100 years old, plus Ramon's lack of EVER doing it before and being on the bad side of 30 and a catcher. Sure, just ask the scouts!

Also, from this point henceforth, thanks to two throws, all runners will be instructed to never run on the cannon arms of Markakis and Scott. This will probably give the Orioles a good +10 in the W-L standings. Particularly considering that Markakis gunned down the fleet-footed and elusive JIM THOME, who runs about as well as Sasquatch does anymore.

Offensively Scott and Markakis are both batting over .300.

A useless statistic.

Good teams have solid outfielders who can hit and have good arms.

They also have pitching, infielders that can hit scattered about...

Also, we just discussed some good or at least not bad outfields. All on bad teams.

Imagine in a year-or-two when Adam Jones really comes into his own. The Bird's outfield could be one of the best in the Major Leagues.

I am having a good time imagining the outfield as belonging to The Bird, I'll give you that. The Bird running meetings wherein he expresses disappointment in Adam Jones' struggles with offspeed stuff, but doesn't get on his case about it. The Bird spending entirely too much time on batting average and the very occasional chances that right fielders get to throw out guys at third base, or left fielders to throw someone out at home.

Turns out The Bird is Dave Trembley. Which I agree is awesome.

Here's a very scientific graph from user Y Not:

I believe that explains the game pretty well.

Adam Loewen gave up a hit to Swisher, walked Orlando Cabrera, and then Thome hit a three-run jack to start the game, and that was all the White Sox needed, since we predictably made Jose Contreras look like Roy Halladay.

Loewen did OK after the first three batters -- well, OK for Loewen. He walked five and struck out three, and threw 109 pitches in six innings, but hey. Six innings! A Christmas miracle! He still stunk, fundamentally.

Jim Johnson would be preferable to Greg Aquino, if you ask me.

I thought it'd be peachy keen and a whole lot of good ol' fashioned fun to look back on the first two weeks of the 2008 season, so let's do it!

via d.yimg.com

The biggest surprise of the young season isn't the 8-6 Orioles, 8-6 Royals, or 10-4 Cardinals. No, those things happen. Poor teams, or at least teams that aren't expected by many to contend, get off to good starts for one reason or another all the time. Sometimes, they sustain it. Most times, they do not.

The biggest surprise is the 4-10 Detroit Tigers. I'll admit it -- I bought into the hype. While I wasn't overly impressed with their pitching (in particular the awful Dontrelle Willis), that lineup looked scary. I was talking with a friend during their Opening Day game, a loss to the Royals, and we were going on and on about how deadly that lineup really was. They were dangerous 1-through-9, even without Curtis Granderson. Brandon Inge is not a special hitter by any means, but that guy hit 27 homers a couple years ago. And he was hitting ninth that day.

Edgar Renteria went 1-for-5, Placido Polanco went 0-for-6, Miguel Cabrera was 1-for-5...and they lost. And then they kept losing. Only a couple of consecutive wins over the Twins (11-9 and 6-5) have them at 4-10.

All those 1,000 run season predictions are looking awful. And kind of foolish, the more you think about it. Gary Sheffield is 39 years old. 34-year old Magglio Ordonez is coming off of a total career season, and the same probably goes for the 32-year old Placido Polanco. 36-year old Pudge Rodriguez is an offensive zero at this point; not that Jim Leyland has noticed. And Edgar Renteria's only other year in the American League was a flop.

And that pitching staff? Goodness gracious, great balls of fire. Look at the ERA/WHIPs on their starters: Bonderman 4.58/1.64, Verlander 6.52/1.19, Rogers 6.75/1.91, Willis 7.20/2.00, Robertson 7.84/1.84.

They are sporting a 5.95 team ERA right now. Nobody can overcome that, I don't care if they DO score a thousand runs.

I've watched them play plenty. They look awful. They have been outscored 87 to 46. I don't think they can make the playoffs as they're currently built. This is a Titanic team.

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The Chicago White Sox would scare the hell out of me if I were any of the AL big dogs.

Sure, Jim Thome looks like toast so far (.156/.240/.333 in 45 ABs). But a lot of these guys are killing the ball, and as bad as Jose Contreras is (6.17/1.97), they have a pitching staff that could cause trouble. Buehrle, Floyd and Vazquez are a fine front three, especially for a team that could hit like this one just might.

Nick Swisher was Kenny Williams' best move ever, probably. He's absolutely perfect for the Ozzie Guillen White Sox. Not only is he loud, noticeable, energetic and a real go-getter in every facet of the game, but he's also good. He is fast becoming the face of the White Sox. This was a guy that was born to be loved by modern day White Sox fans.

As for Joe Crede, just when you think he's out, he pulls you back in.

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The Arizona Diamondbacks are good. While they made the playoffs in 2007 with a lot of young dudes and a whole truck load of luck, they made the very smart decision to not rest on their laurels. Sure, that team was bound to probably get a little bit legitimately better anyway, but they went out and got Dan Haren (2-0, 2.50/1.00) to add to Brandon Webb (3-0, 2.14/0.86), and now they have Randy Johnson back in the fold. Johnson is older than dirt and still uglier than boiled sin, but what if you get five-to-six innings a night out of him and then save him for the postseason? That could be a deadly front three.

What's more than that, they've got some hitters. Justin Upton is swinging at a .388/.429/.712 clip so far, and Mark Reynolds is crushing the ball (.612 SLG, 5 HR). When you add in Eric Byrnes, Conor Jackson, Stephen Drew and Orlando Hudson, you could be looking at a pretty damn good lineup.

If you ask me, right now, at this moment, they are the best team in baseball.

 

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Quick Thoughts!

• The Chicago Cubs are not going to be a lot better than they were last year. Call it a hunch. Their rotation puts me off. I'd be way behind the Milwaukee Brewers to take that division in a surprising cakewalk, but I still recall the Brewers and Cubs locked in that deathmatch last summer to see who would decide to lose the division first. Kerry Wood -- oh, man. What you could have been.
• The Mariners are not contending for anything. Maybe it's because I watched us -- the ORIOLES, for God's sake -- sweep a four-game series against them, or maybe it's because I know Erik Bedard, and him being on the 15-day DL not only doesn't surprise me, but I have the sneaking suspicion it'll last a lot longer than 15 days. Maybe it's because their lineup lacks plenty. Maybe it's because I read Lookout Landing and those guys seem to have realistic expectations.
• If I were the rest of the AL Central, I reckon I'd keep my eye on the Kansas City Royals. Of the two legitimately midwest teams, they're the surprising above .500 club that I think has the much better shot at staying in that vicinity. Meche and Bannister are bona fide.
• The really notable thing about David Ortiz starting the season on a horrific schneid (.104/.246/.167) is that it makes Manny Ramirez worse, too. With Ortiz struggling so mightily, Ramirez has a 17-to-4 strikeout-to-walk ratio, which is way out of wack for him. He's crushing the ball, to be sure, and JD Drew is helping to pick up the slack, but the Red Sox are no unstoppable force right now.
• On the topic of last year's World Series participants, I hate to say it, but Rockies fans might want to get used to what they're seeing. That team was a miracle.
• The Yankees are run by a loud-mouth moron who recalls the golden age of "Mr." Steinbrenner himself. How long before this jackass gets himself fined or suspended by Major League Baseball? If you were ever thinking that the Red Sox had overtaken the Yankees as baseball's most hateable team, Hank Steinbrenner has come to ensure that no one ever tops the Bronx Bombs.
• Miguel Tejada went from one crappy orange team to another. Hope he's having a blast. Wait until mid-June, when he starts complaining.
• The Pirates are at .500. Thought I'd make note of that now. They're trying to tie a record for consecutive ineptness, going for their 16th straight losing campaign. The record is held by the 1933-48 Philadelphia Phillies. Part of me identifies with modern day Pittsburgh baseball fans, but the majority of me wants to see them tie that record. Go, Pirates, go!
• One thing I have learned about the Oakland Athletics, despite every TV commentator in the land and their smug sense of superiority over the fact that they never won the World Series and appear unlikely to do it any time soon: Never count a Billy Beane team out. Never.
• Cristian Guzman leads the poor Washington Expos in almost everything. Welcome to the new park. Same crummy team.