Dear Pink-Hat Nation :

Fahey was a hero in the eighth, and did a passable impression of a major-leaguer by going 2 for 4 in this game with a run and 2 ribbies. 

Fahey was a goat in the ninth, and did a passable impression of Bynum doing his own impression of Bill Buckner.

Roberts hit 3/4 of the cycle, but missed the tater. 

Some stupid kid screamed "Let's Go Red Sox!" for three innings straight at the end of the game, while woo girls around him sipped their lattés and the players on the field refused to Go. 

And the Sheriff is back in the saddle. 

Just for kicks, since I looked over the catchers, here's a look at the VORP numbers for all the O's.

If you're still unfamiliar with what, exactly, VORP is, then here's a quick primer:

Value Over Replacement Player. The number of runs contributed beyond what a replacement-level player at the same position would contribute if given the same percentage of team plate appearances. VORP scores do not consider the quality of a player's defense.

Roberts, Huff and Markakis have unquestionably been the three keys to the team's success offensively. In 2007, these same three players posted VORP numbers of 48.6, 15.8 and 38.4, respectively. Roberts' career-best mark was 62.0 in 2005, and he's on pace to wind up somewhere between that number and what he did last year. Huff is way up over last year -- which he should be, considering he's already hit more homers than he did in all of 2007. Markakis is Markakis.

The big disappointments start with Mora, who has become a complete detriment to the team offensively. It's been a couple years since he was making a real difference, anyway, but this is a new level of crap. He was at 33.5 in 2005, but has put up totals of 8.9 and 13.4 the last two seasons. If he can rebound up to that level it'll be a minor miracle. He's been terrible.

The shortstops have been led by Cintron's nifty 0.8, which is the only positive score of the bunch. Bynum has been a disaster, and Hernandez was every bit as inept at the plate as advertised, really. This is a big step down from Miguel Tejada's disappointing 31.8 in 2007, which was hampered by injuries. PECOTA's seven-year forecast doesn't have Miggi reaching these levels of suck until 2013, but they also never updated it for his adjusted age, so maybe a couple years before that. Tejada, for the record, is currently at 17.1, which makes the trade look fine for us after the age debacle and the fact that Luke Scott is contributing.

Elsewhere, Kevin Millar continues his slow, entertaining plod toward retirement.

And the pitchers:

Jim Johnson wouldn't have been in my top 15 choices to be the Orioles pitching VORP leader on July 5 (the date that this data was updated), but there he is.

Sherrill's 6.8 might seem low, but it's really sort of a testament to how non-elite George has been. He has a lot of saves because we play a lot of close games. He's done a damn fine job as the closer, about as good as you could expect. But he gives up too many big flies and his walk rate isn't exactly inspiring for a closer. There are several closers in the league that are better than Sherrill, and a whole lot of guys around the league that could do the job he's doing with similar results. He's absolutely perfect trade material, with a counting stat that inflates his actual value. I love the guy and he's been a-OK by me, but this is the sort of player that this sort of team really ought to trade.

Guthrie put up a 38.2 last year -- he's on his way to being in that area again. He's a hell of a pitcher. Cabrera might not be exciting anyone of late (save for that last start), but this has been a pretty nice bounce-back year for him all in all. Last year, his VORP was a slimy 2.2.

The bullpen contributions from Johnson, Albers, Sherrill, Sarfate and Cormier have been huge. Poor Steve Trachsel was on his way to an historically awful season before getting cut.

Probably nothing you wouldn't expect, just reaffirmations of the good, bad and Mora.

Don't you ever be sad,
Lean on me when times are bad.
When the day comes and you're down,
In a river of trouble and about to drown

Just hold on, I'm comin',
Hold on, I'm comin'.

Following two straight devastatingly crappy losses, George Sherrill nailed down the ninth inning tonight as the Birds held on to down the Royals, 7-5.

We have a comfy 7-3 lead before Ol' Sar-farty came in there and started walking the field, but George knew what to do. Though he gave up a bleeder single that drove in two runs off the bat of Mark Grudzielanek, he then struck out Alex Gordon to FINISH IT! with aplomb.

Gordon had previously hit a monster home run in the first inning off of Radhames Liz that apparently one-hopped the Warehouse. Good great mamma jamma was that a shot.

Five interesting points of the game:

1. Second inning, Fahey hits a line drive double to left field that Jose Guillen bobbles on the pickup, allowing Adam Jones to score. Next batter is Roberts, who skies one into left center. Guillen, like the jerk he is, stands still and leaves Joey Gathright to fend for himself. Lucky for KC (and Guillen), Gathright makes the catch.
2. Bottom seven, game seeming to get a little too close for comfort. BRIAN ROBERTS SMASH
3. Adam Loewen makes a relief appearance, throwing two scoreless innings with a bit of mystery to them. Season ERA falls to 7.08.
4. Mora finally gets dropped in the order, falling to sixth, and goes 0-for-3 with a walk.
5. Jimmy Gobble makes duck feel better about his own last name.

via www.qualitycards.com

There has been much (very deserved) talk this season about the totally inept players the O's have run out to the shortstop position. Currently, veteran Alex Cintron is occupying the spot, with Trembley and Co. threatening to recall Brandon Fahey from Norfolk, which is just terrible, terrible, terrible news. I assume it has something to do with his positional flexibility, mythical or not.

Fahey will play shortstop, second base, third base, left field, and has volunteered in the past to serve as an emergency catcher, so I suppose that does make him a shortstop, second baseman, third baseman, left fielder, and emergency catcher. And I also suppose if you sent him into a space a few times, that'd make him an astronaut. But other than that, he is no more a major league shortstop, second baseman, third baseman or left fielder than he is an astronaut. (tip of the cap to Bill James and those that spotted the reference, and a virtual high-five of sorts to those that know the former Oriole who was the subject of the original James joke)

For this, we have to ignore defensive ability, and to be perfectly and brutally honest, knowing what we do now about the values of hitting and fielding to the overall outcome of the game (and there is still much to learn, yes), it is rather hard to defend Mark Belanger as a very good player no matter how great his glove was. He had a couple years where he was around league average offensively, but most of the time he was terrible. He was a Gold Glove guy to be sure, but give me a competent fielder that can hit.

Let's take a look at what The Big Three did this year before Cintron thankfully was awarded the job. You can't say he won it, only that everyone else lost the hell out of it.

Not a pretty picture! But despite the fact that the Orioles do have a rich history of shortstops, including two Hall of Famers (Ripken and Aparicio), the truth is that some of the bigger and better names are about to pop up on the next list: all-time crappy Oriole shortstop seasons.

Notes:
1957: Miranda (314 AB) was at 30
1958: Miranda (214 AB) was at 40; Foster Castleman (200 AB) was at 37
1959: Chico Carrasquel (346 AB) was at 64; Billy Klaus (321 AB) was at 86; Miranda (88 AB) came in at 22

Conclusion: Willy (or Willie, depending on the listing) Miranda was f-ing terrible.

Past Ripken and the contemporary Miguel Tejada, the best shortstops in O's history (post-STL Browns) are largely considered to be Belanger, Aparicio and Bordick. All three were glove men who generally carried a weak stick. Aparicio would be ridiculed as a leadoff hitter in today's game -- if there were blogs in Luis' heyday and the same statistical understanding we now have, he'd be Adam Everett. Simply put, if the game were the same then as it is now, Aparicio would never have even sniffed the Hall of Fame. He was not a bad player; he could run and he could field like crazy. But Hall of Fame? No disrespect meant to Mr. Aparicio, but his credentials are fairly shaky.

Belanger was the heir to Aparicio, and was simply a taller, caucasian version most of the time. That and he didn't steal a whole lot of bases. And he had a lot more truly awful seasons at the plate. Bordick had one freaky good year with a 113 OPS+ (2000), which is how we wound up with Melvin Mora. Thanks again, Mike!

Just so this isn't all gloomy (if you choose to take it that way, anyway), here are the ten best offensive seasons by OPS+ in O's shortstop history. It's a pretty exclusive list.

* Ripken played 94 games (813 innings) at SS in 1982, and 71 games (604 innings) at third base

In case you missed it, that's the scoop. Steve Trachsel will not return to the starting rotation. Instead, Radhames Liz is up and will take the ball tonight.

Luis Hernandez managed to hit a robust .241/.295/.253 in 79 at-bats this season, made several fielding and baserunning boners, and lost his job right quick to Freddie Bynum once Freddie was available for action.

Liz has a 4.05 ERA so far at Norfolk this season, with a hard luck 1-5 record. I'd rather see him than Trachsel any day. I'd rather see him try to hit and play short than Luis, too.

Going back to the shortstops, though, I do want to be really fair. Yes, Luis was terrible. But so was Fahey. So is Bynum (.210/.258/.274). So is Cintron (even counting his .350/.381/.350 line so far). They're all terrible and have no business starting in the majors. But there's also no reason to carry three of them, and they've kept the right two. Cintron is a better fielder and hitter than Hernandez, and Bynum's flexibility and CF availability makes him as useful as someone with a .532 OPS can be.

And from the Orioles team report:

Mora had no specific explanation for the throw, but the Orioles third baseman has been coming up short on a number of throws to first base lately. Mora has nine errors in 50 games at third base. Two came in Friday's game.

Jim Palmer in particular loves to talk about Melvin's great glove. He makes some highlight reel plays. He also screws up a lot. He's Derek Jeter, third baseman, without the star power or pinstripes or rings, though he is a playoff veteran of the first order.

In the long, glorious, storied, mythical history of Major League Baseball, many rivalries have managed to stand the test of time. Yankees-Red Sox, as much as most of us are sick to death of the "end of the world" nature of their current feud, is a great sports rivalry. Cubs-White Sox was a better rivalry before they played every year, but if you go to Chicago, you will quickly note the differences between the fanbases, and how legitimate it all is. Dodgers-Giants started in New York and moved to California without losing a step.

While Earl Weaver will tell you that there should be bad blood between all clubs, it would be a great lie to say we care as much about a game against the Indians as we do a game against the Red Sox, barring some circumstances that make the Indians game very important. If you hate a team, you don't have to be personal about the fanbases, but it's healthy to argue with them. Yankees and Red Sox fans, in large part, don't really get with these rules.

The Red Sox and Yankees are our rivals, but that's more about us trying to fight the power atop the AL East division. We used to be right in the thick of things, but as much as one should love and respect the history of one's team, the days of Brooks, Frank, Cakes, Boog, and even Cal and Eddie are long, long gone. These are the days of Guthrie and Millar, a loose, enjoyable team that plays the best it can with not much in the way of recognizable talent, at least to an outsider.

When interleague play started, our interleague rival was mandated to be the Philadelphia Phillies, who fell harshly in the 1983 World Series to the Birds. This made perfect sense. The teams were close geographically, had some history, and were long-standing, well-known franchises.

But then came the Washington Nationals.

When the Expos moved to D.C. from Montreal, we knew it would mean a forced "cross-town" rivalry that couldn't ever really hold a candle to Cubs-White Sox, Mets-Yankees, Giants-A's or even Dodgers-Angels. Who were the Nationals, and why should we care?

They played in a dump. The team itself was a dump and a joke, an MLB-controlled quasi-team that no doubt played hard, but barely even existed in their last few years in Montreal. In their first few in Washington, little has really changed.

The Nats are not a team I can hate, because I don't care about them. I don't care about this rivalry. And I know I'm not in market, but those in market I've talked with have pretty similar feelings, for the most part.

It's neat that the Nationals exist in D.C. and we have a yearly two-series interleague rivalry (if anything about interleague play can still be considered neat, that is), but past that, what's the difference between us playing these guys or playing the Phillies, or the Reds, or the Braves? Not much.

The first-ever regular season O's-Nats contest came on May 19, 2006, at RFK Stadium, the newcomers getting home field the first time out. Ed Rogers was the O's leadoff man that day, and the O's managed to grind out a chipping away 5-1 victory. Kris Benson pitched a complete game for the win. Corey Patterson had three hits.

The Nats won the next two games in the series, games which saw Brandon Fahey lead off for the Birds. Later in the season, the O's took two of three from Washington, evening the all-time series at 3-3.

Last year, the Birds won the first two at RFK, and dropped the third, then were swept out at Camden Yards in the middle of a nine-game losing streak in June. All-time record coming into this year's battle: Washington 7, Baltimore 5.

We get another six chances. Best case scenario is we leave 2008 ahead 11-7 against the former Expos, but worst case is we fall behind 13-5. I doubt either will happen. The O's are busting their humps to remain competitive against all odds, while the Nationals are pretty much exactly what everyone thought they'd be in their first season at glorious Whatever It'll Be Called By 2010 Park.

Gear up! Fight for pride! Whatever, guys. Play ball.

The one neat thing is going to be the commentary. MASN is going to brave the waters for the potential cluster-you-know-what with four-man broadcast booths. This weekend, Gary Thorne and Jim Palmer will be joined by Bob Carpenter and Don Sutton, which will hopefully result in a fistfight. When the O's go over to D.C., it'll be Carpenter, Sutton, Jim Hunter and Buck Martinez. Nats fans, we apologize in advance for Hunter and Buck.

copyright Jonathan Daniel / Getty Images

The Orioles are keeping Jose Contreras relevant.

Like, come on, you guys. Seriously.

But I'll let Sox fans worry about the 71-year old Contreras. I'm not all that concerned with him.

What does concern me is the turd brigade that the Orioles are running out there at shortstop. Not a single one of these guys is even good enough to be a major league utility player. In the last three games, Luis Hernandez, Eider Torres and Brandon Fahey have all been given starts.

None of them are really shortstops to begin with. Hernandez and Fahey do not have the arm for it. It's been very apparent. Fahey makes rainbow throws a lot of the time, and Hernandez's just have no zip and often come in really low. If Kevin Millar wasn't actually a pretty damn good first baseman, we'd have seen a lot more errors on throws from Hernandez. Having your arm compared to David Eckstein's is no praise.

I'm not telling anyone anything they don't already know, and I'm aware of that. But this is a serious issue. Even on a rebuilding club, even when you're talking stopgaps, these guys are completely unqualified for major league jobs. I'm sure they're all super dudes and work their asses off and are doing the best they can. But that's part of the problem. They aren't any good.

And please don't ask me or anyone else to wait on judging Eider Torres. He's 25 and wasn't even a footnote anywhere in this year's Baseball Prospectus. His career minor league line is .280/.325/.350. He's not a major league player. We said the same thing about Hernandez, and everyone said, "Oh but wait, oh but wait." Are you done waiting? He's terrible. When a guy hits as weakly as Hernandez or Torres (who is a better hitter than Hernandez, to be fair) in the minor leagues, they cannot contribute to a major league team in any real way.

You get 25 roster spots on a club. Three of them are being wasted on Hernandez, Fahey and Torres. It's bad math.

If you're going to ask me if I think Alex Cintron is better than these guys, then I'll answer: Yes. He's not any good, and certainly isn't a viable starting shortstop, but yes, he's a lot better than these guys. He IS a stopgap player, and not a good one. A lot of this is why I thought we should try to sign Adam Everett, who is a legit Gold Glove shortstop even though he can't hit. If we're going to have a guy who can't hit, let's get a guy who can pick it. That's been done before.

Of course, Everett's on the DL right now, but I still believe he would've been an effective one-year signing. Then you see where you're at after 2008, and maybe you give him another year, or whatever.

But let's move past that, too. The shortstop situation is a black hole of suck, and that's not going to change any time soon.

What killed us today, really, was LET'S GET GREG AQUINO OFF OF THIS TEAM FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. HE'S HORRIBLE. HIS ERA IS 14.21. I'D RATHER SEE FAHEY COME IN TO PITCH. HE'S JIM BROWER, THE DOMINICAN VERSION.

Also, the 5-through-9 hitters went 0-for-19 with one walk. You can't win like that.

We remain in first place. Thanks, Rays.

The New York Yankees just aren't very good.

I know this happens every April, the Yankees start slow and get warm with the weather, but I like to take the time to gloat while I can. Plus, it's getting to be a routine with the O's playing New York fairly tough, after years of rolling over for them like trained cocker spaniels.

With the O's up 4-0 in the sixth, Diamond Dave decided to go to the 'pen and get Burres out of there. I thought this was a wise, wise decision. Burres is a 5-6 inning starting pitcher. With five hits and four walks against him, we were already kind of testing fate with Brian. Plus Morgan Ensberg was coming up, and Morg is a lefty basher. In comes Jim Johnson, who finishes the final three and a third with one hit allowed and nothing more, and we go home winners on a 6-0 score.

My favorite part of the game watching the YES broadcast was one of the following:

1. Millar comes up in the third, Ken Singleton offers to give us the Ricoh scouting report on Kevbo. He gets one part of it, then the pitch from Ian Kennedy is coming. "We'll get to it after this pitch," says Singleton. Whack! Dong Millar. Get to it next time, maybe.
2. Promotional spots for tomorrow's game: "The Melk Man looks to deliver against Aubrey Huff (?) and the high-flying Orioles!" This is either a rib by someone at YES or a clear misunderstanding of Aubrey Huff's importance to the Birds. Maybe the YES staff hasn't heard of Nick Markakis. After all, he's not in Boston or New York, and he's not Ichiro. To his credit, Huff delivered a two-RBI double to push our lead to six. But really? Aubrey Huff? Not Markakis? Not Yankee Killer Brian Roberts? Not arch nemesis Kevin Millar?
3. Brandon Fahey got two hits. I will maintain to my dying day that he has no business in the majors, but it's not like I don't root for the dude. One of his hits was an RBI double past Posada (who started at first base since Giambi's hitting about a buck.)

We don't play this game on paper!

Shut it, Squinty. You give hating the Yankees a bad name.

This is sort of a "random thoughts" idea, although I really don't like how "random thoughts" sounds. I don't like the word "random." It gets used too much. That, in itself, is a random thought. Or, really, I guess it's pretty on-topic.

...

1. Who was that umpire with the hemp necklace? Way to rock your fashion within the confines of your outfit, dude. Let's go see some Daaaaave.
2. On the topic of attire, Gary Thorne about made me pee last night. No man should ever wear so much beige at one time, and his complexion just isn't fit for it to begin with. As for his atrocious tie, let's just say that I hope it was given to him by a young relative for his birthday or something. I'm so catty!
3. Z got to even up Cabrera Bowl '08 with Danny's killer start. So many times I thought he was about to implode, but he manned up. Like a man. I hope Z kicks my ass at the game of Cabrera.
4. LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKE!
5. Luis Hernandez and Melvin Mora make some of the most God awful fielding mistakes you will ever see on the left side of our infield. Mora is turning into Derek Jeter, making a good amount of highlight reel plays and falling short on what should be the routine. But Mora also has the added boner factor of frequently wanting to throw the ball home when he should just go to second or first and not worry about the run. And then he makes his Melvin Face. You know the face. And Hernandez's arm is dubious.
6. Randor Bierd is just plain cool. You know what I mean?
7. Who would win in a fight: Brandon Fahey or Edwar Ramirez?
8. After all the talk about how Markakis is walking a lot and you don't want your 3-4-5 hitters to walk (despite that the plate discipline of Millar is really his greatest asset and it never ever ever ever ever ever hurts to get on base instead of making an out), it was refreshing to hear Jim Palmer say the following words: "He's going to walk a lot. And why not?" Jim, you have bested Buck. Markakis was 3-for-3 after walking in the first inning.
9. If you haven't noticed, ol' Brian Bob is in a 1-for-17 funk.
10. Yankee fans still talk about their lineup as being the best in baseball a lot of the time, apparently not noticing flaws like Jason Giambi now being exactly as good as the end of the line days of Jeremy Giambi, and only being able to score two runs against the Orioles, both off the bat of Chad Moeller. This is just picking at them while they're down, really. I'm aware that they're going to score their runs.
11. One extra. Even if he goes down as the greatest player to ever lace up a pair of cleats, Alex Rodriguez's ability and all the nice things he does for charity and things of that nature will probably not outlive how big of a tool he is. But I will root for him to break Bonds' home run record, regardless of his toolness. I was a big Bonds fan for a long, long time, and found him to be funny in many ways, but the dude got to be too much. Is baseball missing him or Roger Clemens right now?

via d.yimg.com

OK, so it wasn't a homer. But Adam Jones' game-winning single off of Boob Logan in the bottom of the 10th inning will suffice. The O's are back in Birdland, if only for now.

Chicago went up 2-0, and the O's tied it at two in the bottom of the sixth. Leading off the seventh against Jeremy Guthrie, Carlos Quentin homered. Then Joe Crede homered. Goodnight, Guts, 4-2 Sox.

Quentin homered again in the eighth, making it 5-2 Chicago, but the Birds got one back in the bottom of the inning, then wailed on Big Fat Bobby Jenks in the ninth to tie it up.

Dave Trembley was faced with a dilemma. Payton had pinch-hit for Luis Luis, so Fahey was in. Then he decided to send Ramon up for Fahey in the ninth, which meant we were out of reserves and we had no shortstop.

Here's what I would've done: Mora at SS, Millar at 3B, Ramon at 1B.

Here's what Dave did: Huff at 3B (sacrificing the DH), Mora at SS.

The first way would've been more fun, but oh well. Despite Huff's best efforts to single-handedly lose this game (0-for-5 with three strikeouts), young Adam Jones singled home Kevin Millar in the tenth for the win. Booya! Game over.

George Sherrill got the win, and we're now 9-7.

HEY, YANKEES!

YOOOOOOOOU!