Have at it, chaps.

Well, it happened. The Orioles spoiled the Red Sox playoff hopes. The Orioles beat the Red Sox five out of the last seven times they played them, giving the Rays time to claw their way back to a wild-card tie. And thanks to two very dramatic finishes tonight, the Red Sox will be joining the Orioles in making golf plans for next week.

I've mentioned this before, but my favorite player to watch blow a game is Jonathan Papelbon. His antics on the field are so off-putting that I can barely stand to look at his face. So it made it even sweeter that the Red Sox hopes ended with him on the mound. Even better, on my way into the ballpark tonight I saw Mr. Andino waiting in the lobby to go watch his son play baseball. When Robert Andino singled to left field and Nolan Reimold came racing around third to score the winning run, I thought of Mr. Andino watching his son. I love baseball.

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In tonight's battle between lefties Zach Britton and Erik Bedard, neither was sharp enough to keep the other team from putting up crooked numbers. Bedard gave up fewer runs than Britton but didn't go as deep into the game. He gave up three runs in 3.1 innings, and every subsequent Red Sox pitcher gave up at least one run, but because of the huge lead the Sox built up, it wasn't enough. 

The O's took an early lead thanks to a walk by Nick Markakis and an RB double from Vladimir Guerrero. It wasn't much, but Britton looked very good in the first and second innings. He faced just six batters, but in the third he gave up a two-run homer to Jacoby Ellsbury that put the O's in a 2-1 hole. Britton looked absolutely terrible in the fourth inning. After singles from David Ortiz and Adrian Gonzelaz, rookie Ryan Lavarnway (what is it with Red Sox and crazy last names?) hit his first major league home run. It was big one, giving the Red Sox a 5-1 lead. Britton didn't give up any more runs in the inning, but did surrender a double to Darnell McDonald and threw a wild pitch before ending the inning. 

The Red Sox comfy four-run lead didn't even last an entire inning thanks to my Most Valuable Oriole, Matt Wieters. Vlad singled just ahead of Wieters' 22nd home run of the year. After Adam Jones struck out, a single from Chris Davis and a walk by Mark Reynolds put two on with one out, but the O's couldn't capitalize. 

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Wow. There was just a lot of awesomeness tonight. The Red Sox continued their plummet, the Orioles continued their hot September, Robert Andino hit an inside-the-park home run the first time his dad ever came to see him play professional baseball, and of course, the Rays won as well, tying things up in the wild-card race. 

Normally, with Josh Beckett on the mound against the Orioles in September would be the recipe for disaster, but in the bizarro world that is September 2011, it didn't really matter. 

The game started off poorly for O's starter Tommy Hunter, as two walks and a single in the first inning loaded the bases with two outs, but a fly ball out from Jed Lowrie ended the inning. The Red Sox got on the board in the second inning when a double by Jacoby Ellsbury knocked in J.D. Drew, but the Orioles got that right back in the bottom of the inning courtesy of Matt Wieters' 21st home run of the year. 

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The Orioles today sent Brian Matusz to the mound, a decision thought by many to be awful. Buck Showalter spoke of giving Matusz a confidence boost to end the season, but for the doubters out there it seemed the only possible outcome was another kick in the ribs to Matusz, whose season has been the most brutal for a starting pitcher that I've ever seen. 

In an effort to give Matusz this so-called confidence boost, Showalter put out a lineup so putrid I can hardly believe that it found its way into a major-league baseball game to support him. Of the nine players in the lineup, only two of them (Vladimir Guerrero and Robert Andino) have played in over 100 games this season. Six of them have played in 30 or less games for the Orioles this season. And the ninth player, Nolan Reimold, has played in 84 games (but only 73 starts). 

In short, there was a hole lot of crazy going on for the Orioles in today's game. Let's start with Matusz, who I believe never should have been given the ball today. 

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The Orioles notched their 67th victory tonight, one more than last year's total, in a game that was bookended by unlikely events involving Matt Angle. He opened up the top of the first inning with a leadoff home run off of Cy Young contender Justin Verlander. The home run was the first of Angle's career. Not bad for a rookie getting his first taste of the big leagues. The O's jumped out to a 5-0 lead but it came back to be tied and it was in the top of the 9th where Angle was again involved. Speedster Kyle Hudson worked his way from first to third on a single wild pitch and then came the suicide squeeze. Hudson took off on a pitch, Angle dropped the bunt where it needed to be and the run scored, making it 6-5 Orioles. This was the final score.

It wasn't the best of nights for Verlander, who entered with a 2.29 ERA and left with a 2.40 ERA. That reflects the five runs he gave up over seven innings. The damage all came for him in the first three innings. Angle lead off with the homer and the Orioles nickel-and-dimed Verlander for three runs off of four singles and a walk in the second inning. The walk was issued to Angle. Verlander wanted no part of the powerhouse after the home run. Mark Reynolds delivered another of the promised home runs, his 37th of the year, and after that Verlander shut them down, retiring twelve Orioles in a row at one point. Still, the damage was done.

Staked to the lead of five runs, Jeremy Guthrie did not have his best start, but it was still enough. First he gave up a leadoff walk to Ryan Raburn (.291 OBP) in the 4th. Raburn eventually scored on an Austin Jackson single. A couple of sharp hits to start the 5th by Miguel Cabrera (single) and Victor Martinez (ground rule double) gave Detroit second and third with one down. An RBI groundout followed by an RBI sac fly gave the Tigers two runs but ended the threat. He gave up a solo home run to Miguel Cabrera, which was the best-hit ball off of him of the night. That was all over six innings. Not the best Guthrie start, but not the worst. Barring something unusual it's his final appearance of the year. He will close the book with a 4.33 ERA over 211 innings.

Because it was Guthrie, of course he could not get the win when he left with a one-run lead.

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On the final Friday of the 2011 season, the Detroit Tigers beat the Baltimore Orioles 4-3 in 11 innings in front of many people in Detroit.  The Orioles wasted a strong performance from the inconsistent Alfredo Simon, as he pitched 8 innings, giving up 3 earned runs on six hits and 1 walk, while striking out 5.

The Orioles started the scoring of Rick Porcello, as JJ Hardy scored on a two out double by Vlad Guerrero.  Over this week I've become convinced that Vlad has some bizarre clause where his salary doubles if he records 2 triples.  He means well, he was thrown out at 3rd on a 9-4-2-5.  Other than a contract incentive, why else would he be the third out at third base again?  I suppose nobody is who they used to be.  Anyway, staked to a one nil lead, the lead wouldn't last, as Miguel Cabrera dropped a 2 run bomb in the bottom of the first.  The Birds would battle back in the top of the 3rd, scoring two runs.  Robert Andino and Hardy would hit consecutive infield singles.  The runners moved up a base on a sacrifice fly, and Nick Markakis would drive in Andino on a sacrifice fly.  Following an unproductive Guerrero groundout, Matt Wieters would notch a two out RBI single bringing in Hardy.  In the bottom of the fifth, the Tigers would tie the game up after leadoff double from Jhonny Perarlta and a run scoring single from someone named Ramon Santiago.  

The game would move quickly along with few scoring opportunities until the eleventh inning.  In the visitor's half, Nick Markakis would smoke a ball into the right field corner for a double.  Guerrero was walked intentionally as if there were any other way, and the Orioles were in some business.  But Wieters would hit into a double play and Adam Jones would ground out to short, leaving it to the home half of the eleventh for some drama.  With Willie Eyre on the mound, Brandon Inge would draw a walk.  Delmon Young popped out to Wieters, but Miguel Cabrera would single on an 0-2 count, moving pinch runner Danny Worth to second.  Zach Phillips would relieve Eyre, but didn't fare much better as VIctor Martinez would line a shot that Brooks Robinson could have snared but Chris Davis did not, and Worth easily scored from second.  Orioles lose, 4-3.