"Everybody agrees we need Gload." - Ozzie Guillen, White Sox manager
"Ross Gload will remain at Triple-A Charlotte for now, thanks to the emergence of Timo Perez as a valuable left-handed pinch-hitter and the recent three-day All-Star break." - ChicagoSports.com
I have a friend who is a White Sox fan, and he's a big supporter of Gload. The author of the SB Nation White Sox site, South Side Sox, also seems to like Mr. Gload.
Me? I'm a distant admirer. This might have a bit to do with the fact that on MVP Baseball 2005, I traded James Baldwin straight up for Gload (stupid White Sox), and Gload ended up a hero of the World Champion Baltimore Orioles in fantasy land.
But the reason I fake acquired fake Gload in the first place is because I like him as a ballplayer. So as a sister to my Free Aaron Rakers campaign, I present Operation: Rescue Ross Gload.
The White Sox know Gload can hit (.321/.375/.479, 7 HR, 44 RBI in 234 at-bats in 2004), but right now they don't have a spot for him because they are fixated on Timo Perez of all people. It's typical White Sox decision-making and the sort of thing that makes me think they'll be doomed when it gets down to the nitty gritty. Kenny Williams simply isn't creative enough, or at least not wisely creative enough, to make the moves that can make the White Sox champions. At least I don't think so.
So I think we should help Kenny Williams, by offering to further solidify a strong bullpen by adding Steve Reed, James Baldwin or Jorge Julio, for the obscenely low price of Ross Gload, stuck in Triple-A because Timo Perez, the budding star that he is, is simply blocking the way. I mean, what can you do? It's Timo Perez!
What do I think Gload adds? A bat. He can DH, play LF or 1B, and I assume he'd be able to handle RF too if it were necessary. The thing is, outside of power surges, Gibbons has sucked this year, and Sosa has clearly sucked this year, and Bigbie is Bigbie. Ross Gload is 29 years old and has a window. In my opinion, we must do everything in our power to give Ross Gload a chance to achieve all he can, as long as "everything in our power" isn't, like, anything important.
I am not saying that this Ross Gload is a world-beater. What I'm saying is here's a useful part of a team in an organization that doesn't know what to do with him, but clearly realizes the need for something to be done. I'm talking getting him below market value, and a team that thinks they need to make a move is the one easiest to rob (which may be why Williams has been so public in making clear he doesn't feel he needs to make a move, especially after some of the debacles he's pulled the trigger on in recent years).
Now "market value" doesn't totally apply here. I don't think there's necessarily a market for Ross Gload. But was there a market for Chad Bradford? Nope, and he turned into one of the best setup men in baseball for Oakland. And Oakland got him from where? The White Sox. Ross Gload is the new Chad Bradford.
I am consumed. Damn I'm consumed. I covet Ross Gload. We must acquire Ross Gload!