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NOT so fast, my friend

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Jeromy Burnitz ain't no Oriole just yet. He has not officially agreed to that two-year deal we thought he had officially agreed to, and Houston and the Pirates are both interested. Frankly -- being quite frank -- Burnitz would be crazy to sign here instead of with the Astros if they're offering anything resembling a competitive contract to the two-year, $10-12 million deal we reportedly gave him. The Astros need a left fielder and he'd be in a much better position to win and staying in the league he knows.

I am saying two things: (1) I hope Houston offers him at least roughly the same deal, and (2) I hope Burnitz isn't crazy.

The New York Daily News (312 grains of salt, my friends) is reporting this ridiculous idea:

NYM gets: LF Manny Ramirez, RHP Danys Baez
BOS gets: SS Miguel Tejada, CF Joey Gathright
BAL gets: SS Julio Lugo, RHP Matt Clement, RHP Kris Benson
TAM gets: RHP Aaron Heilman, RHP Jae Seo, maybe 3B Andy Marte

That will only happen in the reign of Queen Dick.