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A guide to the stupid nicknames I give some of the Orioles

Just in case you're new here, I'm so bored that I'm doing this. I call many Orioles by nicknames frequently, and so do a lot of you. Some of ours differ. Here's the why for many of them!

Tejader or Miggy (Miguel Tejada)
I don't know why I started with Tejader. Maybe Jerry Remy called him that on NESN or something. Miggy is obvious.

Brian Bob or B-Rob (Brian Roberts)
I personally never use "B-Rob," because it reminds me of "A-Rod," and boy do I not want that association. Brian Bob should be obvious, too. I suppose it could be Brian Bobs, but that sounds a little too much like I have a mancrush on him. Which I did for the first few months last year.

Kevbo (Kevin Millar)
On "The Wonder Years," Winnie had an older boyfriend named Kirk, and he always called Kevin "Kevbo." I decided as soon as we got Kevin Millar that I was going to call him "Kevbo." I haven't gotten to use this as much as I would like to, because Kevbo hasn't done much to make me want to shout about him in a friendly manner. Usually, I am forced to stick to, "F--king Millar," or "Jesus, Millar, stop popping out."

Niner (Jeff Conine)
His name ends in "nine," you see! This one isn't mine, of course, but I use it.

Razor Ramon (Ramon Hernandez)
If you are or ever were a pro wresting fan at all, you probably get this one. If you aren't or never were, it's not worth the time to explain. Either way.

The Todd (Todd Williams)
For a while I called most people named Todd by this nickname, but it's really stuck and is all about Todd Williams now. I never say "Williams," and I never refer to him as "Todd Williams." It's always "The Todd." Kind of like how I always called Walter Young "Big Walt." "The Todd" originated on "Scrubs," and I always like thinking of our The Todd as a sort of frat boy horndog like The Todd on that show.

Melly Mel or Melmo (Melvin Mora)
Melmo is another one of those A-Rod type deals, but this one I like because it is also a take on Elmo. And sure, Elmo is overexposed and a weak Sesame Street character, but that's fun. Melly Mel is a take off of Grandmaster Melle Mel, a New York rapper from the 1980s.

Kakes (Nick Markakis)
I don't use this one that often, but I like it. Sort of a tribute to Jim "Cakes" Palmer, too. I think zknower used this one first, but I may be wrong.

Danny Boy (Daniel Cabrera)
If you don't get this one, then I don't know what to tell you.

Gibby (Jay Gibbons)
Another obvious one. Kirk Gibson's old nickname.

COREY! (Corey Patterson)
Whenever Corey Patterson does something well, I get excited and go, "COREY!" This is not really a nickname I guess, but the rest of the time he's corey.

Bruce Almighty (Bruce Chen)
Failure of a Jim Carrey movie, I used this last season because Bruce Chen was spectacularly consistent and a real treat to have on the team. I don't believe I'll be using it too often this year if the first month and a half is any indication.