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Gameday Thread: O's at Red Sox, Cinco de Mayo

Rodrigo Lopez, RH Curt Schilling, RH (1-3, 6.81) (4-1, 2.88) 2B B Fahey 1B K Youkilis 3B M Mora 2B M Loretta SS M Tejada DH D Ortiz RF J Gibbons LF M Ramirez C R Hernandez RF T Nixon 1B J Conine C J Varitek CF C Patterson 3B M Lowell DH K Millar CF W Pena LF N Markakis SS A Gonzalez

Game time is 7:05 on CSN and NESN.

I don't think I make myself quite clear about the Red Sox sometimes. I tend to praise the things they do with their team, like getting Beckett and Lowell and picking up Mark Loretta (who has been awful so far), and pacifying Manny enough and Ortiz is a cool dude, so let me put this in some plain ass english: Piss on the Boston Red Sox.

Schilling is pitching really well this season, and Lopez isn't. For his career, Schilling is 3-4 with a 3.64 ERA against the O's, and Lopez is 10-6 with a 3.90 ERA against the Red Sox. Roddy gets some good press for being a Red Sox killer, but it's certainly a little overstated. He's better than his own average against them for his career, about three quarters of a run ERA-wise, but he's not dominant or anything. The 10 wins are a nice stat. And considering the Orioles generally shouldn't beat the Red Sox -- although they have a habit of doing just that -- it's impressive. Lopez really owns the Angels -- 2.10 ERA and a 5-1 mark in eight career starts.

But this isn't about the Angels. This is about the dumbass Boston Red Sox, with their retarded "Nation" and army of tagalong idiot sportswriters whose entire purpose in life seems to be to find something to freak out about every other day, no matter which side of the fence they're on about it.

Now, look, I hate the Yankees. More than I hate the Red Sox. But the Red Sox are the only other team I sincerely care about every game they play besides the O's and Yankees, and the Sox fall into the Yankee side of that. I want them to lose every game. When the Yankees and Red Sox play, I want the stadium to implode. I want Varitek to punch A-Rod's eyeball in and then I want Mike Mussina to dropkick everyone and put his Orioles cap back on.

These douchebags swept us at the Yards the first time we played them this season, but I was out of town and didn't get to see those games. But I want revenge for that, and I want some brutal ass kicking of these bloody sock dorks that jammed 86 years of either sucking or choking into their one little moment in 2004.

I'm also not really big on Cinco de Mayo, everyone's excuse to drink Corona, so I'm just all kinds of annoyed with today and ready to punch every Red Sock in the nose. I hope there's a brawl. I ain't afraid of no ghost. Can we let Cabrera go out for the first inning and just bean Manny or Ortiz right in the ass?

Put your goddamn rally caps on, everybody. LET'S GO O'S