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Corey Patterson starring in "Yeah, Right"

Photo © Gene J. Puskar / AP

Stop me if you've heard this one before:


At 28, Patterson looks like he may start to live up to his big billing as a prospect. "He's doing things now that you would have hoped he did earlier," (Dusty) Baker said.

Sure. Sure. At 28, he's going to finally stop hacking at everything, he'll find his power stroke that he lost last season, and he'll be anything more than an OK center fielder that gets by on foot speed most times (his glove scored a -6 by Baseballl Prospectus' count in '07), which attributes to his only real asset, being stolen bases.

Patterson is a crap player. Reds fans should not be encouraged by this; rather, they should be quite well deterred by the news that Dusty is having Boner Jams '08 for the likes of Corey Patterson. Have fun with his .700 OPS, guys.