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Meet the new Boss, a complete buffoon

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Hank_medium Anyone seen it? Anyone seen what I'm talking about?

It's this, for the record. It's Hank Steinbrenner opening his big fat mouth again, in what is the 500th of 10 trillion of these instances I'm sure people will have to endure in his tenure as "Mr." Steinbrenner.

I want (Joba) as a starter and so does everyone else, including him, and that is what we are working toward and we need him there now. There is no question about it, you don't have a guy with a 100-mile-per-hour fastball and keep him as a setup guy. You just don't do that. You have to be an idiot to do that.

OK. The many setup men with big fastballs might argue that, but that's not really the point.

He's right in many ways. Joba should probably be starting. But to go out of your way to oh-so-subtly crap on your manager, your coaching staff, your GM, your people that you hire to make baseball decisions?

Why not just manage the team then, genius? Or would that be boxing up your massive brain and not letting it be used to its maximum strength? You tell me -- you're the one who shipped out Torre, hired Girardi, made a big show about not kowtowing to A-Rod and then did just that. You're the guy -- the owner of the New York Yankees, mind you -- that takes the words "Red Sox Nation" so downright seriously that you decided that the Yankees have an entire Universe. You actually picked a fight about this idiotic nonsense.

You're the one demanding that people assault a guy who put a Red Sox jersey under the concrete of the new Yankee Stadium because it might cause an irreversible "curse." If the stadium had been entirely built when that dude said that stuff, would Hank have ordered the building to be torn down and rebuilt to remove the mystical jersey? Do you think it's too outrageous to assume he would?

Outside of the mad ravings of a spoiled brat who is now at the tender age of 51, my favorite bit was his career advice to one of our favorites:

(Mussina) just needs to learn how to pitch like Jamie Moyer.

Oh! Is THAT all he needs to do? Well, shit! Why didn't anyone TELL Mike this? Y'know, typical Mike, really. I bet he's never once thought, "I think I should probably be pitching better. Now if I only learn to completely change my entire approach to pitching, perhaps even including with which hand I throw the ball, I'll be back on track!"

Forget the fact that Jamie Moyer has been pitching this way, really, for 20 years, and has only had to make adjustments and tweaks as his velocity has continued to wane over the Presidencies of Ronald Reagan, George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton (two terms), and George W. Bush (two terms). Mussina just needs to do exactly what Moyer does. That's all.

But let's be fair. While every other baseball team on the planet would take 20 games out of 162 to see what works and what doesn't and quietly start making a few changes here and there to try and make things better, we cannot forget that these guys are operating in Yankee Universe. This is deadly serious business, the most storied franchise in the history of all sports. Frankly, the Yankees are more storied, pound for pound, than the entire history of most countries. Hey, do you see anyone claiming to be from France Planet? Me neither, dickhead! Jeter rules!

I hate you one and all. Damn your eyes.

Brian Cashman is handling this with class and professionalism, seemingly trying to avoid saying, "This guy's a clueless asshole, what do you want me to tell you?" Cashman, you're on notice. Guaranteed.