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And all I can say is, "Baltimore Orioles, number one!"

Needless to say I missed the last two games entirely. I read the box scores. And the game threads. I had a pretty solid Memorial Day weekend. How about you?

I also now believe in clutch thanks to my softball game on Saturday. Trailing 13-10 in the bottom of the final ending, our team tied it up at 13, and I was up with nobody on and two out. I worked a 3-1 count -- in slow pitch softball, yes -- and got a good one with some fine arc. Right in my wheelhouse. WHAM! I've never hit a ball so hard in my life.

If there had been a fence, it'd have been way gone. But since we were fenceless, I had to burn my out-of-shape self around the bases with all the speed I could muster. I slid into home as my Wednesday karaoke host blocked the plate -- pretty gutsy for a woman that I probably outweigh by 120 pounds. I should've steamrolled her.

Anyway, now I believe in the theory of clutch. I, a blogger in my underwear who never goes outside, have participated in a sport and have felt the power of being CLUTCH flow through my body. It is awesome. Tell your kids to be clutch. They'll thank you later.

I'm a hero. A stone cold hero.