'Cause what else are you doing?
From MLB.com: "Biggest star at All-Star Game is Stadium" -- sure, it's probably true, and sure, Yankee Stadium has been a hell of a home for baseball's most famous team. Still, I can't shake the feeling that the closing of Yankee Stadium has been made just a hair too big a deal. At the same time, any building that inspires sportswriters and baseball guys to act like 12-year olds is kind of cool, isn't it?
Also from MLB.com: Bud Selig will answer fan questions in a live "town hall" chat today. There are a lot of questions I would like to ask Selig. I'm sure we'll hear about maple bats and if the question-asker has a pair on him he'll outright ask why nothing has been done about these wooden death darts when the danger of their use would be clear to a freaking six-year old. I'm sure we'll get such gems answered as, "Who is your favorite player??" "What was the coolest game you attended?? Was it that All-Star game where you stood there like a moron and didn't know what to do so you decided everyone was a winner?"
I got an email from someone -- I'm assuming the dude that does the stances -- this morning that pointed me to Batting Stance Guy. Or maybe it was, like, his brother or uncle or something. Either way, I always look at the crap people mail me about, even though I'm so unimportant that it's generally total garbage, because who cares about a plug from this guy? But this was actually a lot of fun. Here's the O's post.
Over at Twinkie Town, they actually care that it was Justin Morneau who won the Home Run Derby last night.
Is Jonathan Papelbon a dimwit or what? I don't take this very seriously, but come on, dude. You're in New York. It's Yankee Stadium. It's the last All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium. Maybe don't debate whether you should close instead of Mariano Rivera. Papelbon's brain is a pork chop. He is straight up not bright. That said, the Yankee-styled outrage is pretty typical, and pretty stupid. BUT IT'S OUR STADIUM!!! GOD!! Part of me wishes Papelbon was actually better than Rivera (he's not) so I could agree with the dummy instead of agreeing with the repulsively serious about who should "close" the exhibition game. I hate you one and all, damn your eyes.
SOMEONE MAKE ONE OF THESE FOR GUTHRIE. I will need it frequently.
If you're lucky enough, the current ESPN.com headline will still be, "Oh my Josh, he lost?" In the newly-immortal words of Chase Utley, "F--k you."
Barry Bonds' agent says there's little chance his roided up client will play baseball this season. Aw, poo! Baseball misses him SO MUCH. Jeff Borris goes on to paint for you all a real tear-jerker of a work, a true sob story, when he says that Barry "gave his heart and soul to the game" and "deserves to go out on his own terms." He made his own terms for his entire career, and he certainly made them at the end. Is it really surprising that no one wants to deal with the a-hole circus that Bonds brings? The less I see him hit, the less I miss Bonds, and the less I like him. I liked Barry for a long, long time, but the game is just fine without him. I understand he can still hit. I just don't care.
Yesteray, before the Derby, Jayson Stark got all tantrum-y about Alex Rodriguez not participating in the Home Run Derby. He regaled us with stories about the proud and likable Reggie Jackson while taking a dump on Rodriguez for not rewarding those wonderful New York fans who have treated him so well by representing the Yankees in a stupid contest he simply didn't want to be part of for fear of it messing with his swing. We hear wonderfully light stories about those darned ballplayers and their wacky superstitions. This guy won't take off his underpants if he's riding a hot streak! He showers in 'em! This guy won't touch a mahogany-stained bat if the moon is full! Ahaha! But A-Rod doesn't want to mess with his swing, so he's a jerk. A Home Run Derby in Yankee Stadium with no Yankees? Ohhhh noooo. And boy, it sure turned out to SUCK, didn't it? Those fans didn't at all fall in love with Josh Hamilton, Texas Ranger. I've really had it up to here with these stupid A-Rod hating articles. The guy is arguably the greatest active player we have right now, could retire tomorrow and would deserve a first ballot Hall of Fame ticket, and yet we have to put up with him being "afraid of not winning." I'm sure we'll get another deligthful story about some "grinder" next week. Nick Punto rules!
With this nice article about Brewers owner Mark Attanasio, can we stop considering the Brewers a small-market team even though they are?
Todd Jones writes an article about facial hair. As much as I like facial hair (mostly because I think I, personally, look like a dingus without any, if you ever really wondered), Jones is still a dillweed.
Ryan Fagan asks the question I dread:
These guys have the trade bait in which other teams will be interested around the July 31 deadline. Two key questions: Will the Orioles sell? How important is it for this franchise to finish around .500?
Let me make it very, very clear where I stand on this matter: chasing .500 this season is stupid. It's downright dumb. For one thing, these guys aren't going to make it. For another thing, it's just pointless. The Oriole fans -- most of whom are already bored and wanting to talk about football -- need to go ahead and suck it up and accept that this is another losing season. Trust me, they'll actually show up in a couple years when we're ready to win something.