Come on. Admit it if you do. Just come right out and say it.
You DO? You're banned.
Tim McCarver crossed over again into unmatched "analytical" territory during the All-Star game last night. He had some true gems.
Now, look, most of us are aware that McCarver is a bumbling dullard on his best days, and on his worst, he's downright infuriating. If you have ever watched a baseball game in your life, McCarverisms are easy to find. The man has made an art out of being awful at his job. Even Joe Morgan can't touch some of the ridiculous nonsense that comes out of McCarver's mouth.
He started with a great one: "From a personal health standpoint, everyone knows you have to have a strong core. So the National League is very, very healthy."
This is not so much totally wrong-headed as it is just a dumb way to say something. This is a McCarver specialty, but not his worst attribute.
About a half hour later, he found his grove.
He said that Manny Ramirez is the best two-strike hitter in baseball. Assuming McCarver had nothing to back this statement up besides his highly-acclaimed eyes and great wisdom having been a Major League catcher for many years, I went to Ramirez's Yahoo! player page to look at his situational stats.
I'll even admit that I sort of assumed Manny would have some nice stats with two-strike counts. He is a great hitter, after all. No dice.
These are not bad numbers in two-strike counts. I'm not saying they are. But they do not really differentiate him from any number of good hitters with two strikes against them. Justin Morneau's numbers, for instance:
How about David Wright?
How about Adam Jones?
Hitting with two strikes is hard. Morneau's gaudy 0-2 numbers are a peculiarity. But McCarver flat-out tells me that Manny Ramirez is THE BEST two-strike hitter in the game. Without question. Without rival.
And I am able to get up-in-arms about what you might be able to term a judgment call because of the following. It was Ramirez's next at-bat where McCarver's genius shone brightest. This beacon of truth, communicator to the masses. This baseball guiding light was presented with an on-screen graphic of Manny Ramirez's batting averages on pitches in different zones. On down and in pitches, it said, Manny hits .167.
McCarver outright denied the fact put in front of him. He said that was not true. He was prestented with a statistical fact -- a f--king batting average -- and he said, "No, that's not true."
You just can't top Tim McCarver. God willing, we'll never see anyone really try.