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BOHMSS 2K9 - Quarterfinals, Game Five

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The Dukes of Earl 9, Reganomics 1

The Dukes of Earl win the series, 4-1

W: Dave McNally (4-0) ... L: Mike Mussina (2-2)

HR: Paul Blair, DoE (2) ... Merv Rettemund, DoE 2 (3) ... Boog Powell, DoE (3)

Summary: After winning game one, Phil Regan's 1995 squad petered out in appropriate fashion, losing four straight and doing it in style. The '70 champs just weren't going to have it, and on they move to the semifinals.

Earl's boys went up 2-0 in the second when Merv Rettemund socked a solo dinger and Paul Blair scored Davey Johnson on a single. Rettemund would add a two-RBI double in the third, another solo homer in the fifth, and an RBI double in the seventh, going 4-for-5 with two homers, two doubles and five runs driven in.

Mussina was lit up (6.2 IP, 11 H, 7 ER) while Dave McNally became the tournament's first four-game winner (CG, 3 H, ER, 3 BB, 7 K). The Dukes rapped out 14 hits in total and took the game, and the series, early on.

The Richard-Harris Express 6, Davey's Goliaths 2

The Richards-Harris Express lead the series, 3-2

W: Steve Barber (4-0) ... L: Scott Erickson (2-2)

HR: Geronimo Berroa, DG (3) ... Jim Gentile, RHE (2)

Summary: Monster '61 Jim Gentile hit just his second home run of the tournament, a leadoff shot in the second inning that put the Express up 1-0. They'd never give up the lead.

Up 2-1 in the top of the fourth, Brooks drove in Gus Triandos and Earl Robinson, and they made it 6-1 with two more in the sixth inning. Geronimo Berroa hit his third homer in the eighth inning, but it wasn't enough. With a chance to take control of the series as they headed back to old Memorial Stadium in the DeLorean, Davey's Goliaths couldn't rally around Scott Erickson, who was originally set to start game three but was bumped to this slot after a four-inning relief outing in game two. The Goliaths now turn to their No. 2 man, Jimmy Key, to keep them in the series. If Key and the '97 team win, it's all on Scott Kamieniecki.

Barber kept pace with '70 McNally by extending his tournament record to 4-0 with eight innings of work.

The Oatesimate Warriors 6, The Advantageous Advancement of Altobelli 5

The Oatesimate Warriors win the series, 4-1

W: Mike Mussina (3-1) ... L: Scott McGregor (0-2)

HR: John Lowenstein, AAA (1)

Ed-die! Ed-die!: Eddie Murray bids the tournament a fond farewell by going 2-for-4. He finishes his ridiculous run hitting .541 (20-for-37) with eight homers and 19 RBIs. As a wise man once said, "Sometimes, there just aren't enough rocks."

Summary: Goodnight, Irene. The '83 champs crumble in the quarterfinals against the amazing might of Johnny Oates' 1992 try-hards, who essentially refused to take no for an answer. John Lowenstein rocked a three-run homer in the top of the first to give Altobelli an early 3-0 lead, but the Warriors got two back in the bottom of the inning. They were down 5-2 in the third, but got one back. They stayed in the game.

In the sixth, a triple off the sickly bat of Billy Ripken scored Leo Gomez to make it 5-4. Both managers stayed stubborn with starters Mike Mussina and Scott McGregor. Mussina pitched the full nine, but his team trailed 5-4 heading into the ninth. McGregor took the hill.

To lead off, Brady Anderson legged out an infield single, and next up was Mike Deveraux, who scorched one into left center for an RBI double. With Camden Yards rocking, Sammy Stewart relieved McGregor with nobody out and a man on second. Cal Ripken Jr. struck out looking, and then Glenn Davis grounded one to third. Todd Cruz misplayed the routine grounder, and now there runners on the corners for Randy "The Moose" Milligan.

With the infield in and the outfield shallow, Milligan managed to find a hole, blooping one into left that Lowenstein just could not reach. Devereaux scored without a play at the plate, and the Oatesimate Warriors rejoiced at home plate. On to the semifinals for the sixth-seeded Johnny Oates squad.

Devil Ray's Team 8, The Bauer-y Boys 0

Devil Ray's Team win the series, 4-1

W: Mike Mussina (3-0) ... L: Dave McNally (2-2)

HR: Jeff Conine, DRT (3)

Summary: GTFO.

The 10th-seeded 1999 scrubs of Ray Miller have not just beaten another team, but routed the 1966 World Series champions. The first ever Orioles World Series championship team is eliminated by the bumbling, pitching-empty squad from 1999 in five games. And emphatically, too: the '99 team bashed out 39 runs in the five games, winning on scores of 10-9, 10-5, 8-5 and 8-0, and losing one 8-3.

That's why we don't play games on paper. We play them on so-so simulators.