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Andy MacPhail addresses the fans, tells us nothing.

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It was announced yesterday via the Orioles official Twitter feed (and perhaps other outlets, although I only saw it there) that Andy MacPhail would be posting a video to the fans today on MLB.com.That video has been posted and it is 2 minutes, 45 seconds long. MLB.com doesn't allow us to embed their video, so take a few minutes to check it out at their site.

Are you back? Ok. I certainly didn't expect Andy MacPhail to reveal any grand plans or make any crazy unexpected announcements, but do you agree that it was a little underwhelming? I suppose he thought that it would be reassuring for us to hear that he knows the Orioles are doing poorly, sort of an "I got this" to the fans. Did any of us actually think he didn't know? He basically recited a few statistics and told us to keep the faith. Yeah....thanks Mr. MacPhail. That made me feel much better.

Andy MacPhail has, in the past, been very reassuring to me. That's the plain truth. Comments from him in the newspaper or on TV often make me feel better about what is happening with the Orioles. He's very thoughtful and intelligent and he has a soothing voice. And I think that because I want to believe in him so much, I need to believe that he is the right man for the job, I allow myself to be lulled by what he has to say.

Now, that doesn't mean that I don't believe in what Mr. MacPhail is doing. He might succeed, he might fail, but for now he has my trust because I don't believe we've seen enough results to determine the final outcome. But that doesn't mean I care to watch him on a video saying, "There, there. Everything will be ok," trying to trick me into feeling better with his even speaking tone and great uncle sweater vest. I trust that you're working things, Andy MacPhail. And I trust you'll tell me when something happens that I actually need to know.

Now, if Andy MacPhail absolutely believed that he needed to address the fans, maybe it could have gone more like this:

The play by the Baltimore Orioles this year has been wholly unacceptable and I apologize that so many of you have not only witnessed it on your television, but have also paid good money to see the team fail in person. It's very hard watching our young players struggle but if we didn't believe they had the talent worthy of building a team around, they wouldn't be here. 

As for the other positions on the team, the ones not being manned by those we consider part of the future, please know that I am doing all I can to improve that. I can't ask you to have faith in the team as it is currently constructed; this team is not a contender. But I am asking you to have faith in me, faith that I want to see a winner as much as you do and that I will do what it takes to make this Orioles team just that.

On a related note, I'm very sorry about signing Garrett Atkins. It was clearly a mistake on my part and frankly I don't know what I was thinking. I had some bad mulberries the night before the signing and I'm fairly certain that I hallucinated that Garrett Atkins was actually Justin Morneau. Yes, I know that sounds crazy but have you ever been on a mulberry trip? It's no joke.

Would that have told us anything more than what his actual message did? Of course not. But it's a little bit better than telling us what the Orioles are doing with runners in scoring position. Anyone who cares about the Orioles enough to watch that video knows all the things that the Orioles have done on the field to suck. If you're going to try and make us feel better, you gotta make us believe you're gonig to fix it. And if you can't do that, just leave us alone.