Saturday Bird Droppings - Make Your Own! Edition

So, Verizon's DSL service in Salisbury has basically decided to take a week-long vacation, so I can't open most internet sites without timing out. Instead of leaving you bereft of reading choices this morning, I'm going to ask for your help - post your own links here.

Seriously, you be the Bird Droppings editor today. Post a link, the headline you would use, and either a really good quote from the article or a snarky one-liner about its contents. I can't add them to the story, because I have a funeral to attend this morning about an hour away, but I'm sure Stacey and zk and the other mods will be more than happy to add them. Right, guys?

Even if this little experiment doesn't work, at least we have an Open Thread for today. Go O's!

When Pie returns, Bell may stay put
I wouldn’t have a problem with this. -BSF

Official: Yankees express interest in dealing for Orioles’ Ty Wigginton, NJ.com -BSF

Samuel Tells Jones to Play Deeper
Hopefully he also told him to catch balls hit to the outfield. -OEutaw (didn't they also tell him to do this in ST? -Stacey)

Nearly Another No Hitter
The O’s farm system almost secured their third no-hitter of the year, settling for a 1-hit shutout instead. 20YO RHP Justin Moore pitched 6 no hit innings in the start. -OEutaw

Rosenthal: Phillies Want Lee Back
They also want Tejada & Wigginton. Yes, I said “&”. -OEutaw

Padres fans ask what it would take to get Millwood
and they actually spin it in a positive light. home/road splits, people -Luke E

Brian Roberts is taking batting practice.
We'll see. -Stacey

Orioles Insider: Minor league game recaps -- July 2
Norfolk lost 2-1, Bowie lost 9-4, Frederick won 5-2, Delmarva lost 5-1, Aberdeen won 5-0, Bluefield lost 7-2, and GCL O's lost 3-2. -Stacey

Oh, say can you sell? Then you may sing
Some baseball teams require that groups sell a minimum number of tickets before they can sing the national anthem. Baltimore is not one of those teams. Is it because they are generous or because it would be impossible to get anyone to perform? You be the judge. -Stacey

ORIOLES: Local ballboys enjoying 'cool job' -Stacey
David Hernandez likes to high five them and one of hem ended up rapping with Adam Jones. Seems worth dealing with some heckling from some Red Sox fans. -Stacey

Lester goes for perfect dozen against O's | MLB.com: News
If Jon Lester wins tonight against the Orioles his record will be a disgusting 12-0. -Stacey