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Thursday Bird Droppings

Orioles Insider: O's have had recent conversations with Guerrero
So, the O's haven't exactly asked Vladimir Guerrero to the prom yet, but, they've found out he still doesn't have a date with another else, either. And he thinks they're kind of cute.

Guerrero's options slimming - Scoop Du Jour - MLB  - Yahoo! Sports
Vlad, your options for the prom keep disappearing. Sure, the O's have some zits and a slight overbite, but they do have a car and totally would buy you dinner. You know you want to go. Say yes.

Twitter / @Ken Rosenthal: Sources: Guerrero wanted 2 ...
So Vlad's not asking for a two-year deal anymore. C'mon, no one else is asking...and the O's would be OK with staying home, anyway. They don't NEED you to go with them. Not the time to play hard to get...

 O's sign Michael A. Ballard to minor league deal - Rotoworld
"The 26-year-old has a career 4.67 ERA and 1.43 WHIP in five minor league seasons. Despite the Orioles' relatively unimpressive pitching corps, Ballard is not a candidate to join the big club any time soon." Unimpressive pitching corps? Eff you, Rotoworld. -zk

Orioles Insider: Palmer, Erbe added to autograph lineup
Orioles Hall of Fame pitcher and broadcaster Jim Palmer and pitching prospect Brandon Erbe have been added to autograph sessions for Saturday's FanFest.

Adam Jones' mohawk could upstage Nick "Blackbeard" Markakis at FanFest | Baltimore Sports Report
"Adam Jones has the greatest chance to show up with the best offseason hair, beating that of Nick Markakis' thick blackbeard look from last year."

Duchscherer at full strength, in body and mind | News
"Free-agent right-hander Justin Duchscherer, considered one of the best starting pitchers still on the market, said on Tuesday evening that physically he feels "pretty much 100 percent" and shot down the notion that his previous depression issues would prevent him from playing in New York." So, does "pretty much" mean he can pitch pain-free or does "pretty much" mean he doesn't need help buttoning his shirt anymore?

Orioles Insider: Another honor for Cal Ripken Jr.
Cal Ripken will be inducted into the International League Hall of Fame for his one season of play there.

Not much buzz about Orioles -
And Kevin Cowherd blames the Orioles public relations staff for most of it. No player introductions after signings, announcing the team will raise ticket prices the same day the Ravens announce they won't, and the $15 charge for autographs at FanFest all make his list of peeves.

School of Roch: More on Rapada
If you were hungry for more knowledge concerning newly-signed Clay Rapada, well, then, you've come to the right place.

Alex Anthopoulos, Theo Epstein are top stars of the winter - Jon Heyman -
Jon Heyman puts the O's at #11 of his winter off-season winners. How many Scott Boras clients did we acquire?

National Bohemian to be served on draft in Baltimore for the first time in 15 years -
Sure, it's not a Baltimore beer anymore, but hey, it's beer.

She's right... maybe you should get on that plane to Paris. Cause if you stay, we really only have the summer, then I go to college and we'll talk on the phone and spend the occasional weekend together, which is nice. But chances are, one night I'm gonna get wrecked and have unprotected sex with some girl in my dorm. You'll find her thong and call me a slut... I'll call you a Open Thread and we'll break up. So when you really think about it, what's the point?