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Saturday Bird Droppings

Orioles: Get ready for Orioles FanFest 2011 -
"Admission to FanFest is $10 for adults and $5 for children ages 14 and under and fans 55 and over." So, age discrimination in full effect.

Orioles Insider: O’s announce minor league staffs
We knew just about all these staffing decisions weeks ago, but the Orioles have officially announced the minor league staff.

Orioles Insider: Duchscherer throws for Orioles; will host another workout Tuesday 
So, according to his agent, his velocity "is already in the mid-80s." Wow, sign him up already!

Orioles Insider: Patton will leave spring training for Houston court date
"He should do whatever he has to do to make it right with the legal system -- and not do it again," Orioles president of baseball operations Andy MacPhail said." Dad has spoken.

Orioles make offer to free-agent outfielder Vladimir Guerrero | News
So, in yesterday's episode of "How The Vlad Turns," Vladimir Guerrero's agent was touting a mystery team's $8 million offer, and asking the O's to match. As if any team had offered Vlad $8M a year and he hadn't signed it. Right. Vlad, take the $3.5M we're offering and get your big ol' butt to Sarasota in a month or so.

Steve Melewski: One last time: Jordan on 2009 draftees Berry, Cowan and Martin
"In our last article with O's scouting director Joe Jordan on some of the pitchers selected in the 2009 draft, he talks about Ryan Berry, Jake Cowan and Jarret Martin." I swear, this interview with Jordan must have included 3 room service meals and a discussion of grounds crew strategy at the Shorebirds' stadium. How long did they talk?

School of Roch: Luke Scott wants Guerrero in the lineup (updated)
Joe Beimel ain't walking through that door, people. Oh, and Luke Scott would love having Vlad the Impaler in our lineup. Sorry, Felix.

Baseball Teams as Early-Modern States | History and Futility
So, guess which European kingdom the Orioles are labeled?

Penn National to buy Rosecroft for $10.2 million - Washington Post
Penn National will pay $10.2 million for bankrupt Rosecroft Raceway in Oxon Hill, beating out Peter Angelos. He will have to spend those sweet, sweet MASN dollars somewhere else.

Pinstripe Bible and River Ave. Blues issue statements about the censorship allegations | HardballTalk
Both say YES never told them to change content. That's good to know. 

Hey, I know a joke! A squirrel walks up to an Open Thread and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.