Since I talk about my Yankee fan BFF all the time I figured we could use her insight (if you want to call it that). You may remember Julia from when I did a chat with her last season, along with her brother Anthony.
1. Does it make you feel sad that your team is looking up in the standings at the mighty Baltimore Orioles?
This does not make me sad. It makes me happy for my best friend and for Buck Showalter, who I like very much. I can be happy for myself in October.
P.S. Does it make you sad that the last time the Orioles had a winning season, your boyfriend was half as old as he is now?
Yes that makes me sad! I don't know why Julia would say that when she knows that I'm capable of dishing it out but not capable of taking it.
2. What do you think when you hear the names:
- A.J. Burnett: Cautious optimism
Phil Hughes: Mouth Breather
Ivan Nova: Now "Champagne Supernova" is stuck in my head.
Freddy Garcia: I literally have no thoughts. Thinking about him makes me think of the White Sox in the World Series. When was that? 2005? 6? (That was 2005, I loved that. Remember when Ozzie kissed all the players on the mouth?)
- Bartolo Colon: Have you seen that cartoon of him on the internet dressed up as the hamburglar? That's what I think of.
3. Speaking of Bartolo Colon, is he just the ugliest dude you've ever seen or what?
NO. Kevin Youkilis is.
This is obviously Julia's anti-Red Sox bias. Kevin Youkilis is one ugly dude but he doesn't compare to Colon.
4. Derek Jeter: slumpy or washed up?
BFWDB (courtesy of my dad)
Julia's dad, also a Yankees fan, hates Derek Jeter. BFWDB stands for Big Flapping Wet Douche Bag, which is how he refers to the Cap'n.
5. Jorge Posada - same question.
You leave Jorge alone! Hip hip!
6. Now that Andy Pettitte is retired and announcers can't use that witty rhyming phrase "core four," what will everyone call Jeter, Posada, and Mariano Rivera if the Yankees get to the playoffs? How about the "Marquee Three?"
I have nothing interesting to say to that. Andy Pettitte retiring DOES make me sad. How about "Three Oldguysketeers?"
I mostly want to remind Julia that Andy Pettitte is retired because it's fantastic.
7. Do any of the Yankees seem like any fun this year? Or all they all big dull duds?
I think I would enjoy a game of flip cup with Nick Swisher.