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Game 10: Orioles (6-3) @ Yankees (5-4), 7:05pm

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The New York Yankees standing as a living testament to all the ills of humanity is well-documented here on Camden Chat and in the annals of history. Their existence is a brutal mockery of the very notion of dignity. Their new stadium is a temple for the modern day robber baron. To root for the Yankees is to turn one's back on one's fellow man, and is, despite their pathetic attempts to cling to terrible renditions of God Bless America, the ultimate un-American act, akin to rooting for the British Empire to win the Revolutionary War.

Here are some facts about the Yankees and Yankee fans: (note: not intended to be factual statements)

* Mark Teixeira is the douchiest doucher who ever douched. (OK, that one is a fact.)

* Derek Jeter won't even validate parking for groupies after having a threesome. (Also true, come to think of it.)

* The Yankees suck.

* Criminals prefer to wear Yankees hats. This is fitting because rooting for the Yankees is a crime against humanity.

* This picture. (Warning: do not view picture if you have recently eaten, or soon intend to eat.)

* This picture.

* New Yankee Stadium is an aesthetically-offensive travesty.

Actually, all of that was true after all. F*** those guys. Go O's!

Chris Tillman for the Orioles and A.J. Burnett for the Yankees are your starting pitchers.