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Game 72: Orioles (33-38) @ Pirates (36-37), 12:35pm

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Dear Orioles,

I guess you probably were karmically precluded from victory last night due to all the pro-Pittsburgh vibes that were flowing from their 40th anniversary celebration of the 1971 World Series. The old players present, the ceremony, the '71 uniforms, I know that was just too much. Never mind that three years ago when I attended the 25th anniversary celebration of the 1983 World Series, you lost that game. Well, not all of you specifically, since most of you weren't on the team in 2008, and the ones who were aren't exactly producing numbers reminiscent of 2008 anyway, but just bear with me here.

Where was I? Oh, yeah. I, and the rest of Birdland, would really like it if you could remember for a about one more week that you are playing National League teams. You, even you, are better than the National League. I know this in spite of your historically poor interleague play record because the NL is where players who aren't good enough to play in the AL, or even on the Orioles, go to prolong their careers by another couple of years. Need I remind you that Ty Wigginton, Melvin Mora, Miguel Tejada and Aubrey Huff are all starting out in the NL West this year? What? No, I'm not sure why if the NL is inferior to the AL that Andy MacPhail keeps signing or trading players who had their success in the NL, or weren't good enough in the NL. I've been wondering that myself.

OK, so today you're up against Kevin Correia. He's spent his whole career in the offense-challenged NL West up until this year and he has a career 4.46 ERA. This means you had better feast on him, figuratively spitting him and roasting him over an open fire to lock in all the juices. Serve with applesauce. For dessert you can have ice cream sundaes that are served in the batting helmets of the vanquished, but only if you don't suck. So, please, don't suck.

Your fan,

Eat More Esskay