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Game 90: Indians (48-42) @ Orioles (36-53), 7:05pm

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There's Klingons off the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow, there's Klingons off the starboard bow, starboard bow, Jim
There's Klingons off the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow, there's Klingons off the starboard bow, starboard bow, Jim

Winning: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Baltimore Orioles. Their thirteen-year mission: to never explore strange new metrics; to seek out new prospects and fail to develop them; to boldly lose like no O has lost before.

(Theme song starts in earnest.)

THE BALTIMORE ORIOLES

Owned by PETER ANGELOS

Starring

BUCK SHOWALTER

Also starring

JAKE ARRIETA as Starting Pitcher

NICK MARKAKIS as Powerless Outfielder

MARK REYNOLDS as the Butcher at Third Base

J.J. HARDY as Trade Bait

NOLAN REIMOLD as the Designated Hitter

MATT WIETERS as Switch-Hitting Jesus

and

FELIX PIE as Ninja Robot from Outer Space Sent to Make Everything Adorable