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Game 91: Indians (49-42) @ Orioles (36-54), 7:05pm

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Fool me... can't get fooled again
Fool me... can't get fooled again

(An armored car painted with the logo of the Orioles sits at an intersection. Just as the light turns green, a giant manhole cover explodes underneath the vehicle, flipping it over. Unidentifiable persons are seen robbing the car.

Later, a jet black SUV pulls up, and a sunglasses-wearing DAVID CARUSO steps out to survey the scene, along with SOME OTHER GUYS.)

CARUSO: Well, you don't see this every day.

OTHER GUY: Sir, why are we in Baltimore?

(CARUSO removes the sunglasses and glares at the OTHER GUY, who withers.)

CARUSO: (hailing YET ANOTHER GUY) How much did they get away with?

YET ANOTHER GUY: The driver says there was $7.25 million in the back. (everyone whistles)

CARUSO: Calling card?

YET ANOTHER GUY: How did you know?

CARUSO: (glaring) Let me see it.

(YAG hands over a baseball bat, on which is inscribed the autograph of DERREK LEE.)

YAG: And there was a ransom note...

CARUSO: ...and unless we do what he says he's going to steal another $2.25 million. Of course. Ordinarily, this is where I would say that we should call in Paris Hilton...

(sunglasses)

...but he couldn't even hit that.

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH