The title of this post is brought to you by BrianS.
Ho hum. Another night of piss-poor pitching (both starting and relief, but especially relief) and shaky defense, and what looked like it could be a comeback win turned into another embarassment as the Red Sox scored fifteen runs against some of the worst pitching you will ever see in the major leagues.
The Orioles jumped out to a two-run lead in the first as Josh Reddick misplayed a Derrek Lee ball into a triple. Matt Wieters and Adam Jones scored for a few moments things were good in Birdland.
Bergesen started off looking fantastic. His fastball was sinking and he was hitting his spots. He retired the first six batters in order on just twenty-two pitches, but it was all downhill for Bergy after that. Leading off the top of the third inning, Jarrod Saltalamacchia smoked a home run deep to center field, and the next hitter, J.D. Drew, just barely missed a home run of his own. Bergesen then got singled to death, although he didn't have much help from his defense.
After back-to-back singles from Marco Scutaro and Jacoby Ellsbury, Dustin Pedroia hit a weak ball that snuck between Mark Reynolds and J.J. Hardy for an RBI single, then Adrian Gonzalez singled in the third run of the inning to give the Red Sox the lead.
Up 5-2 going into the fifth inning, the Red Sox added one more on a home run by Josh Reddick to give the Red Sox a four run lead the felt insurmountable. But sometimes even the Orioles will surprise you, as it took them just one inning to regain the lead (for a little while at least).
Felix Pie started the fifth inning and, as we have come to expect from Felix, he didn't do anything productive. Luckily for him, however, his third strike was passed ball and Felix was able to reach. That put a runner on for Hardy who celebrated his new contract with his fourteenth home run of the year. That brought the O's to within two runs, but they weren't finished yet. With one out Adam Jones sent a ball into orbit. Seriously, folks, it was crushed. The distance on the ball was announced at 434 feet and it landed in the walkway just in front of the overhang seats.
With the score 5-4 and two outs in the inning, Wakefield loaded the bases via two singles and a walk. That brought the criminally underused Nolan Reimold to the plate. Nolan got the job done with a double down the left field line. Wieters and Lee came into score and with that the Orioles had come all the way back to take a 7-6 lead. That knocked Wakefield from the game and the new pitcher, Dan Wheeler, retired Pie to end the inning.
The Red Sox tied the game in the seventh as the elusive Troy Patton, who had pitched a perfect sixth, allowed two to reach and then, after striking Adrian Gonzalez, was removed in favor of Jason Berken. Berken immediately gave up an RBI single to Kevin Youkilis to tie the game and was taken out. Michael Gonzalez retired the last two batters without incident to preserve the tie.
The Orioles couldn't do anything in the bottom of the inning and Gonzo returned for the eighth. It was not pretty. He fell completely down on the mound twice, walked Darnell McDonald, gave up an single to Scutaro in a nine-pitch at bat, and walked Ellsbury to load the bases with one out. With that, Showalter had seen enough and brought in Mark Worrell to face Dustin Pedroia in his Orioles debut.
Yeah, the debut didn't go so well. First of all, this Mark Worrell person throws like...I don't even know. He sidearms it but also steps sideways and I don't know, it's bizarre. It's also not effective. Pedroia doubled over Markakis' head in right to knock in two and give the Red Sox a 9-7 lead and kick off the bloodbath. By the time the inning was over the score was 15-7 and the masses of Red Sox fans were cackling like hyenas. Gonzalez was responsible for three runs, Worrell for three, and Chris Jakubauskas with two.
The Orioles made it interesting in the 8th, but they just couldn't erase the horror of the 8 spot put up by the Red Sox. Josh Bell made his 2011 debut and singled with one out, followed by a walk by Robert Andino. Hardy singled in Bell, then the runners moved to second and third on a wild pitch for Nick Markakis, who blooped them in. That made the score 15-10, where it would remain.
In summary, the Orioles scored ten runs and lost.