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Game 87: Orioles (36-50) @ Red Sox (53-35), 7:10pm

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All the ones in red are total douchebags. It's a proven scientific fact.
All the ones in red are total douchebags. It's a proven scientific fact.

No one is going to mistake me for a Kevin Gregg fan. That's precisely why last night's bench-clearing incident was so incredible. Who would have thought it would be Gregg that would stand up for the pride of the Orioles? Yet that's exactly what happened, between his actions on the mound and his words in the interview after the game. This is precisely the kind of feistiness that fans have been craving for the last few weeks. Or at least, I have been. As the O's have plummeted, it's like they have forgotten that they, too, are big league baseball players. They may be outclassed many nights, but have some respect! Gregg had enough disrespect. Bless him.

Tonight's game against the Red Sox could be interesting, because Weak Sauce himself, Alfredo Simon, is the starter, and he is control-challenged at the best of times. Because the Red Sox are a whining bunch of asshats with a sense of entitlement the size of New England, they will be coming into this game feeling like they deserve to retaliate because they are douchebags. Tempers may flare. My temper will certainly flare. I can't stand these clowns. To be sure, I don't want to see any beanball action going on, but I'm not going to shed any tears if a pitch finds its way into the tender buttocks of a Boston player. Even better if it makes it hurt even more because that's where they stick the PED needles.

John Lackey is starting for Boston. He has a... what the hell, is this right? Lackey is sporting a 7.47 ERA in 2011. In his most recent start against Toronto he gave up 7 earned runs in 2.1 IP. He is allowing 1.26 HR/9. Walking 3.36 per 9. He's made 13 starts on the year and given up 5 or more ER in six of them. So nearly half of the time he is horrendous. No wonder he's got a 7.47 ERA.

We might actually have a chance to get a little revenge here and show these chowdah-eating bandwagoners that we've still got a little something in the tank. Now wouldn't that be something?