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All-Star Game Thread 2012


I'll be honest, I'm not entirely sure when this thing starts. The official MLB page says 7:30pm; the ESPN schedule page says 8pm, and in either case you are probably due to endure a lengthy session of people whose opinions you don't care about talking about things that are either stupid, or don't matter, prior to the game actually beginning. Given that the game, as most "important" MLB games, will be on FOX, there is the very real chance that the game itself will consist of people whose opinions you don't care about talking about things that are either stupid or don't matter. Put like that, the All-Star Game sounds a lot like the joint MASN booths during Orioles-Nationals series, come to think of it. So it goes.

Still, like an alcoholic who's got no choice but to drink boxed wine: any port in a storm. This is the only sporting event of any note tonight. There will be no professional sporting event at all in the United States tomorrow. If you want something to watch, you'd better be watching the All-Star Game. As it turns out, and as you are well aware, this year's All-Star Game actually features multiple vectors for Orioles to appear in the exhibition contest that is nonetheless being used to determine home field advantage in the World Series (with the National League squad being managed by a man who has retired).

But, you might get a chance to see Adam Jones do something, like three years ago when he hit what turned out to be the game-winning sacrifice fly. Or maybe Matt Wieters will throw out a fool for trying to run on him. Or maybe Jim Johnson will get to pitch an inning and be awesome. There is also the remote chance you will see some kind of legitimately memorable All-Star moment, because the best thing about baseball is you can never be sure what's going to happen next.

By my count, there are 75 All-Stars, and you know, one thing I've learned in life is that if you're trying to comment on a theater of the absurd, you should really just let it speak for itself.