Ages ago, all the way back in April, as the Orioles were in the midst of being swept by New York in the second series of the year, I started tinkering on a little song parody. Once the Orioles sank below .500, I told myself, I'd work on it in earnest, so I could use it for a game thread some time in the bleak summer, as every summer recently has been bleak.
With a shockingly good April and May, there was no need to think about it for a while. The parody got some more work as the Orioles sank towards the All-Star Break - after all, when I posted a midseason prediction poll, at that point I voted for 74-77 wins - and I figured I would need to use it soon. Then they started winning, and they have mostly kept winning, so now I can only share this with you as part of a world that never was. Maybe it's part of that healing process I mentioned on yesterday's podcast.
Anyway, roughly to the tune of Billy Joel's We Didn't Start The Fire, I give you this, blessedly obsolete before it ever saw the light of day - We Didn't Start The Losing:
Belle's hip, Cordova, Fontenot for Sosa
Fordyce, Will Clark, price hikes at Oriole Park
B-Rob, Tejada, Loewen left for Canada
Mother's Day, 30-3, why must they do this to me?
(chorus)
We didn't start the losing
It has been our fate
Since nineteen ninety-eight
We didn't start the losing
And we can't control it
And we won't extol it
Conine, Surhoff, Delino
Fire sale, John Bale, but at least we got Melmo
Segui, Bigbie, millions more for Jay Gibby
Raffy's failed steroid test, can't we ever have a rest?
Ray, Ryan, Julio
Free agent bullpen, here we go
Hawkins, Groom, Kline, Rupe
Baez, Gonzo, Kevin Gregg plays like poop
(chorus)
Syd Thrift, Beattie, Jim Duquette
Andy Mac, took a crack, couldn't bring the winning back
Riley, Penn, Danny Cab
Sidney Ponson DUI, God it makes me wanna cry
Lee Mazzilli, Leo Mazzone
Perlozzo, Trembo, interim the Windmill, oh
Pie, Matos, Corey Pat
Lou can hit, deal with it, then he tore a ligament
(chorus x2, fade-out)