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World Series Game 1: Cardinals @ Red Sox

Game 1 of the World Series comes on at 8pm on FOX. Adam Wainwright starts for the National League champion Cardinals, with Jon Lester starting for the American League champion Red Sox.

Robert Deutsch-USA TODAY

There is always the question of whether one is better off with the devil you know or the devil you don't know. The Red Sox are, without a doubt, the devil you know. The Cardinals are the devil you don't know, or at least the devil you probably don't have to interact with as much, and the devil that doesn't have as annoying of a regional accent.

Both have won two World Series titles in the past nine years, so it's not like there's any interesting underdog story to be had. They are two teams with fanbases who will talk about juggernauts and dynasties when we really wish they'd shut up and go away. One of these fanbases happens to be in our division, supports a guy who destroyed a dugout phone in a fit of rage and somehow manages to avoid all steroid speculation, and they are, in general, team and stereotypical fan alike, among the douchiest douches in the history of douches.

The other fanbase has that annoyingly smug Midwestern "best fans in baseball" thing going on, which is like, whatever. Orioles fans will suffer less if the Cardinals win the World Series, but we will suffer all the same, because that's another year where we have to spend with people acting like they play real baseball in the National League, the kind of real baseball where a .217/.275/.273 hitter (Pete Kozma) was intentionally walked eight times in the regular season and twice so far in these playoffs.

Where is there to find joy here? With schadenfreude, of course, provided that the Red Sox end up on the losing end of the series. The kind of satisfaction that can only be found looking at endless shots of concerned Red Sox fans, which were seen on a small level on the night of Robert Andino's ultimate triumph, and more frequently in Fenway Park during the ALCS. At least St. Louis has a better bullpen than Detroit, presumably.

Should the Red Sox win, there is this tiny bit of comfort: Koji Uehara will be a World Series champion. Will it make me happy if the Red Sox win? No, I will not be happy with that event. Still, there's no hating Koji.

These games will be the last World Series to have Tim McCarver broadcasting on FOX. Now there's something we can all celebrate.

Jacoby Ellsbury (L) - CF Matt Carpenter (L) - 2B
Shane Victorino (S) - RF Carlos Beltran (S) - RF
Dustin Pedroia (R) - 2B Matt Holliday (R) - LF
David Ortiz (L) - DH Allen Craig (R) - DH
Mike Napoli (R) - 1B Yadier Molina (R) - C
Jonny Gomes (R) - LF David Freese (R) - 3B
Xander Bogaerts (R) - 3B Matt Adams (L) - 1B
Stephen Drew (L) - SS Shane Robinson (R) - CF
David Ross (R) - C Pete Kozma (R) - SS