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Baltimore Orioles @ Houston Astros Lineups - June 5

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Joy R. Absalon-USA TODAY Sports

With Nick Markakis missing the next couple of games due to attending his grandmother's funeral, this is not a surprising lineup to see. Hardy is bumped up with Markakis out, which bothers you if you look at his .290 OBP and doesn't bother you if you look at his .460 SLG. If you look at both, you probably find yourself living a baseball fan life full of turmoil. Welcome to my world.

No one on the Orioles has ever faced Houston's starter, Dallas Keuchel. Whether a man by that name even exists is an open question. This supposed pitcher is left-handed. I saw your reflexive shudder. The Orioles are 8-7 against lefty starters this season.

In his career, Sweaty Freddy Garcia has faced Carlos Pena 47 times. Pena bats .116/.191/.186. On the other hand, the lone home run that Pena ever hit off Garcia came last season.

It is a safe bet that most of these Astros hitters have never seen a pitcher quite like Garcia. As Orioles fans, we hope that's a good thing.

Did somebody say "Touchdown" Tommy Hunter?